Professor: I Can’t Enjoy Thomas the Tank Engine Now that I’m a Feminist

Emer O’Toole, a “Professor of Performance Studies,” says that now that she’s a feminist, she can no longer enjoy Thomas the Tank Engine, along with TV, monogamy, and cats.

In a largely ignored article in the Guardian, O’Toole outlined several things that feminism has “ruined” once she joined the movement.

Emer OToole
Dr. O’Toole

One thing that O’Toole has had ruined is her cat. She worries that she may be “imbuing her with all sorts of patriarchal assumptions about what girl-cats should look like.”

Another is bras, another is monogamy, and yet another is television. Of monogamy, O’Toole writes that, as a feminist, “you begin to feel that a social system in which people claim rights of sexual ownership over each other’s bodies, and get very angry when these exclusive rights are violated, is a system so deeply imbued with patriarchal capitalist ideology as to make gender equality impossible.”

O’Toole writes of television, “I stopped watching television in 2012 when I realised that I had written five letters of complaint to television stations and advertisers in the space of a month. My letters said things such as, “I do not need a flock of women in bikinis to sell me contact lenses.” I had reached peak-feminist.”

She also can no longer enjoy Thomas the Tank Engine. O’Toole laments, “there weren’t any girl engines, only Annie and Clarabelle, Thomas’s carriages, who were naggy and annoying.”

“I don’t want my hypothetical but adorable offspring to learn that boys are the engines and girls are the carriages,” she frets.

O’Toole also writes that she can no longer enjoy her bike or Picasso because of feminism.

43 Comments on Professor: I Can’t Enjoy Thomas the Tank Engine Now that I’m a Feminist

  1. What a stupid, stupid, stupid woman. Silly girl, feminism isn’t about *enjoying* anything. It’s supposed to be dour and grim, and the rain! Raining on everyone’s parade!! All the time! 24/7/365! The lens of feminism puts a ghastly, mud-brown tint over everything! It’s part of their religion — asceticism.

  2. “another is monogamy”

    I didn’t need to look any further than that.

    Irrespective of all of the rest of her horseshit and hoopla, She is a village bike and went shopping for a world view that is consistent with her inability to be in control of her base desires.

  3. Ugh. It must be exhausting to always look for hidden meanings and be unable to just ENJOY something. (That said…I never did like Thomas the Tank Engine.)

  4. Hi Hasty, I make it a habit to never point out spelling errors or typos, but in this case, this one is just too funny and perhaps you meant it that way: She is a village bike: so free for anyone to borrow?

  5. Good for her! She has evolved into a feminist puppet imbued with a matriarchal, socialist ideology and is making gender equality possible or some other gobbledegook description of her mental mis-direction.

  6. I actually know where a real, life-sized, honest to goodness Thomas the Tank Engine is hidden in storage. My husband was sneaking about in places he wasn’t supposed to be and took a bunch of pics. When I looked them over later – there was Thomas, hidden behind another engine in a train shed.

  7. Village bike – like in everybody in town has ridden it. I think the first time I heard the term used was by my cousin who lives in Thurles when these chippie c**ts were bird dogging us around Langtons in Killkenny one night.

  8. I think it’s high time that women in this country take back what being a woman was really intended to be from the lunatics.

    As a male, I don’t often find myself viewing the world through the “what would a beta male think about this” prism.

    I’m a guy. Pure and simple. No apologies.

    Women, especially the teaming throngs of unloved, unfulfilled, miserable females who’ve swallowed this dead-end crapola wholesale, need to figure this out for themselves again. It isn’t supposed to require this much thought.

  9. So, by her own admission, she wasn’t born with this mentality.

    This is a mental illness she sought and achieved on her own.

    Well done. You’ve outsmarted yourself.

    Unfortunately she’s committed to passing it on. If only she could self-impose suffering in silence.

  10. Mavis, Emily and Lady are all important in the Thomas the Tank Engine world. I just pray she removes herself from the gene pool.

  11. Emer, we need to talk.
    You’re poisoning your own enjoyment
    Your unhappiness comes from the schism in your brain.
    This schism is caused by your intellect embracing a world view your heart and mind know is bullshit.
    You are overthinking everything.
    You seek a collective mental state where all can be free of the gender normative aspects of the world that you have trained yourself to observe
    You live on the Earth, as part of an Eco-system that has, as its survival drive, a method of reproduction that uses two sexes of the same species to reproduce successfully. This method is used by most of the species ever to inhabit the Earth. It works
    It cannot beggar the imagination to understand that those roles will not only permeate the behavior spectrum of all species, but to understand that because this gender normative bias exists and is the engine of continuation of all life; it is part of the natural world, and deserves to exist.
    Relax, go buy your cat a fancy hat.
    Or you will be one of those people who don’t get invited to dinner because you go on and on about what bug parts are inevitably found in all foods

  12. Meanwhile in the real world girls have their private parts mutilated and they are married as preteens. Put your energies into helping Muslim women.

  13. “I do not need a flock of women in bikinis to sell me contact lenses”

    Who died and made YOU boss? If you don’t need bikini clad babes to sell you contact lenses just sit down, shut up, and leave the rest of us the hell alone.

    You don’t determine for me what I need. And, as it just so happens, I DO need a flock of women in bikinis to sell me contact lenses! And, I may add, my vision is perfect.

  14. This article may be satire, as in “Haha, feminists are funny too”. Still, nothing funny about how feminism destroys lives.

  15. I sold wholesale liquor in the 80’s and my sales manager was a NO nonsense Italian first generation 80 year old….he even brought a former nun from Italy in to be his bride….30 years younger….Al Petrino would have said….”she just needs a good stiff prick”….

  16. Umm…not only are there female trains in Thomas the Tank Engine, but one of them is listed in the intro theme song (“Emily really knows her stuff”).

    I guess feminism also prevents this crunt from actually examining things before criticizing them. I wonder what other gigantic mistakes she makes in her academic life.

    And yeah, after having two boys who went through a Thomas phase, I do have the song memorized.

  17. I’m no doctor, but she should get checked for a brain virus or something.

    Her elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top any more.

  18. “I do not need a flock of women in bikinis to sell me contact lenses”

    The proper collective noun is “bevy” not “flock”. Sheesh – can’t any of the “journos” learn English?

  19. Clearly, she knows nothing about Thomas the Tank Engine. My son has both Annie, Clarabelle and not to mention Emily and Rosie. Good grief, Emily is mentioned in the theme song.

Comments are closed.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!