Ready for Trick or Treaters?

15 Comments on Ready for Trick or Treaters?

1. Make up some Trump pins and drop those into the pillow case.

   When the parents check the kids’ candy…..

2. It’s easier to buy a bag of Snickers than to wash egg off the cars.

3. Little “Hillary 4 Prison 2016” tee shirts or hats would be nice. Kids would wear them. Save their teeth and their minds at the same time.

4. Chocolate coated Brussels Sprouts!

5. Can I be a Grinch on Halloween? I turn the lights off and no longer hand out candy. Rarely kids want to venture down our steep driveway. The last bunch who did weren’t from our neighborhood and were in their early 20’s. They had pillowcases for their candy and didn’t have costumes. See? Very grinchy.

6. We bought special 1pound chocolate candy bars again this year. The kids get them and freak out. They usually can’t carry them in their bags. They are custom made $5 bucks each. But we only get about 30 kids each year.

7. For thugs too old to be out, dont turn them away. Give them anything sweetened with maltitol.

8. When the diminutive germ distributors appear, produce full size Snickers.
   Then give them the gift of wisdom.
   Explain that this candy bar represents their wages for getting dressed up and hiking around the neighborhood.
   Open the wrapper, and explain the role Taxes play in the adult world.
   Federal Income tax: Big bite
   State Tax: Another big bite
   Payroll Taxes: Nibble off some chocolate
   Property Taxes: (varies by region)
   Sales tax: Nibble off some more chocolate
   Trust me, they will thank you later.

9. I give cans of warm pop… it’s both a trick and a treat! And to the little bastards across the street (who hit tennis balls at my house, often getting them stuck in my gutters)… 2 liters!!! Heh heh!

10. chocolate-dipped radishes …

11. This Halloween give the kids the world’s worst Halloween candy — Kerr’s Molasses Kisses. They’re the ones wrapped in unmarked orange wax paper.

12. Sally, I’m coming to your house. What’s your address?

13. We live in a small town in the Piney Woods of East Texas and are blessed to be part of a very friendly, sociable neighborhood. Ladies have a rotating bunco game. Yard work is almost certain to be interrupted by a neighbor on a walk or stopping to roll down their window and say hello while driving by. Houses are decorated for Halloween and many adults will come to the door in costume. My wife and I sit on the front porch, next to the headless scarecrow with a jack-o-lantern in his lap, and hand out candy. A big bowl of the good stuff (Mars, Snickers, etc.) for younger kids in costume. A bowl of cheap candy for older kids that couldn’t bother to dress up.

    This year I’ll have crisp $5 bills to donate to the campaign of any Trump that might come by. I’ll even give Hillary something from the cheap bowl, figuring it’s the parents’ fault.

14. Sally, you know Chocolate goes really well with a good red wine. You might want to consider a bottle of Cab or Petite Sarah to go in the bag also.

15. So few come to our home in a rural area that I’m still giving out LaffyTaffy from four years ago…