Rioting Reaches The Villages – IOTW Report

Rioting Reaches The Villages

The rioting in major cities across  the U.S. has spread to The Villages, Florida, a retirement community of 100,000. Looters in Florida’s friendliest hometown have especially broken into stores that sell items like laxatives, vitamins, hearing aids, reading glasses, energy drinks and surgical stockings. The thugs were easily caught and arrested since they were using their walkers and golf carts to flee. The protests have been limited to the evening hours because most of the lawbreakers either had doctor’s appointments during the day or rioting would have interfered with their naps. The marches didn’t last that long because many of the demonstrators had to get home to pee. In many cases, the demonstrators simply forgot why they were even there. Officials considered a curfew starting at 9 p.m. But since that’s the time when most of the residents go to bed anyway, it was decided that it wasn’t needed. Community leaders concluded that part of the problem was that residents were restless because they had too much time on their hands since the recreation centers, pools, theaters, boutique stores and especially the bars were closed due to the coronavirus. Community officials wanted to form a committee to look further into the problem, but the next day no one could remember why they needed a committee.

ht/ fdr in hell

7 Comments on Rioting Reaches The Villages

  1. I went looting last night in our sleepy city. I was protesting the existence of Liberal Congresspeople. I will continue until my demand is met that all liberal congresspeople be eliminated immediately by use of fire, and lots of it. Jolly good.

    I looted for beer, vodka, salty snacks, and hydrocodone.

    Success for looting, no success as of yet for demand.

    Give up and satisfy my demand else I shall loot again!

    DO YOU THINK I’M BLUFFING!!!!!?????

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  2. They should be swiping some condoms too

    In 2014, with the urban legend of STDs still alive and well, the “Sex on the Square” story broke. It centered around the arrests of Villager Margaret “Peggy” Klemm and Summerfield’s David Alan Bobilya for engaging in sexual intercourse in the Pavilion at Lake Sumter Landing Market Square. Both served jail time as a result of the escapade.

    And if that wasn’t enough, later in the year Villagers Charm Ann Gilbert and James Richard Adams were arrested and accused of having a sexual escapade on a utility box at the intersection of Morse Boulevard and El Camino Real.

    https://www.villages-news.com/2019/05/04/villages-101-whats-the-truth-behind-urban-legend-of-stds-in-the-villages/

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