She Identifies as an Elf – IOTW Report

She Identifies as an Elf

Monday, 16 October 2023, 18:15 BFH Uncategorized 48

48 Comments on She Identifies as an Elf

  2. “What’s your stance on the trend of ear pointing?”

    Don’t care. She is an adult (I think) so go nuts; cut off your breasts, grow a mustache, tat yourself up, put a bolt in your nose, I don’t care.

    Just don’t do it to children, seems simple enough.

    32

  31. Outward expression of the demons she’s possessed by. This is current fad of the damned – looking like a elf. A demonic entity.
    She doesn’t even know she’s being controlled by evil spirits assigned by Satan. She needs to be set free by Christ, ASAP.

    8

  33. How do those crazy nose ringers get the snot out without it hanging on the ring and disturbing everybody that sees it?

    Yes, stomach turning but someone has to ask the question.

    As Inspectuer Closoue would say: Eet ees a meestairie.

    4

  36. I was taken aback when the feature on the end of her nose ring turned out to be a piercing through her upper lip. I ended up watching those two align then part before taking any interest in her fake ear.

    Glad I’m not in H.R. or a supervisor for people this self-absorbed. I’d have a hard time keeping the look of skepticism and underwhelmness from my face at all times.

    4

  37. My dad and my uncle would usually raise a couple of cows for slaughter every year on my uncle’s farm N. of Coeur d’ Alene, Idaho. One year they were named Zeke and Zelda and they were mighty tasty. Nothing compares to homegrown beef, it’s the best.

    3

  45. “Do you like what you doth see . . . ?” said the voluptuous elf-maiden as she provocatively parted the folds of her robe to reveal the rounded, shadowy glories within. Frito’s throat was dry, though his head reeled with desire and ale. She slipped off the flimsy garment and strode toward the fascinated boggie unashamed of her nakedness. She ran a perfect hand along his hairy toes, and he helplessly watched them curl with the fierce insistent wanting of her. “Let me make thee more comfortable,” she whispered hoarsely, fiddling with the clasps of his jerkin, loosening his sword belt with a laugh. “Touch me, oh touch me,” she crooned. Frito’s hand, as though of its own will, reached out and traced the delicate swelling of her elf-breast, while the other slowly crept around her tiny, flawless waist, crushing her to his barrel chest. “Toes, I love hairy toes,” she moaned, forcing him down on the silvered carpet. Her tiny, pink toes caressed the luxuriant fur of his instep while Frito’s nose sought out the warmth of her precious elf-navel. “But I’m so small and hairy, and . . . and you’re so beautiful,” Frito whimpered, slipping clumsily out of his crossed garters. The elf-maiden said nothing, but only sighed deep in her throat and held him more firmly to her faunlike body. “There is one thing you must do for me first,” she whispered into one tufted ear. “Anything,” sobbed Frito, growing frantic with his need. “Anything!” She closed her eyes and then opened them to the ceiling. “The Ring,” she said. “I must have your Ring.” Frito’s whole body tensed. “Oh no,” he cried, “not that! Anything but . . . that.” “I must have it,” she said both tenderly and fiercely. “I must have the Ring!” Frito’s eyes blurred with tears and confusion. “I can’t,” he said. “I mustn’t!” But he knew resolve was no longer strong in him. Slowly, the elf-maiden’s hand inched toward the chain in his vest pocket, closer and closer it came to the Ring Frito had guarded so faithfully . .”
    -The Harvard Lampoon, “Bored of the Rings: A Parody”

  47. There are four kinds of elf; those that make toys, those that bake cookies, those that make shoes, and those that fight orcs. Which one is it?

    Wasn’t there an SNL skit about someone who came out as an elf? Back when SNL was funny?

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