63 Comments on Something A Man Better Not Bring On His Honeymoon
Fishing tackle
His mistress
Baseball card collection
Mother in law
His mother?
His boyfriend.
Pictures of your ex’s
His little black book.
Playing cards, beer, poker chips and three drinking buddies!
A portable tv and a subscription to the sports channel!
I went on a friend’s honeymoon cruise. As did his parents. Amway cruise.
His wife was pissed. As were the other half of the cruise passengers who weren’t Amway people. 🙂
Lovemaking for Dummies.
Ipecac.
VD
Aw Hell,
My dad brought his canoe, fishing tackle and camping gear, and they had a great time out in the wilderness!
A flashlight and car keys.
There’s an old joke based on that theme.
Your kids.
His Caitlyn Jenner outfit.
Quran and razor blades.
O.M.G. It’s bad enough being around anyone who tests Amway positive. How the hell does anyone survive half a ship full of ’em?
Valtrex
Either Obama.
His lawyer.
Her lawyer 🙂
Any or all of us at IOTW…
Unless she’s one of us.
Your cold sores and Herpes Cream?
a shaved German Shepard & a Polaroid camera
TV Guide.
A date.
His mother.
His father.
Her mother.
Her father.
Her brother.
Adult diapers.
Chocolate, whipped cream and a cat of nine tails.
An egg timer.
your prized collection of all your former girlfriends pubic shaved armpit hair
… with an extra sample container
(had to cross out the ‘p’ word there…. didn’t want you to think that I was …. oh, nevermind …. I am)
anal lube
Your kiddie porn collection.
His Vagina
Amway sucks, they’re is nothing worse than a damned persistent scamway salesperson, not even Jehovah Witnesses are that obnoxious. JW’s you can usually blow off by telling them you’re not interested. We’ve had scamway and Shaklee salespeople join our church just so they could sell to gullible people. Generally when they’re found out they either leave or we tell them to leave. They are truly annoying pests selling cheap shit to suckers. A boatload of these annoying hucksters would be hell on Earth.
His Cell phone
Richard Simmons….
@judgeroybean – by about midweek the non-Amway people were pissed, not all of us were trying to sign them up but enough were. And they thought it would be a nice relaxing Caribbean cruise.
I did it for a couple of years in the early 90s. I was particularly interested in selling some of the products rather than signing up people, but spent a couple of years doing the weekend conventions etc. Some great people in there, and I learned a lot about business, but I wasn’t cut out for it.
101 Terrific Solitaire Games in hardback.
Your male sex robot.
Origami and macramé supplies, plus three paint-by-numbers coloring books.
An envelope full of coupons for dollars off for Beano, Gas-X, and Earwax-B-Gone.
Double-ended dildo.
The DVD How to Field Dress an Elk with your SawzAll
His other wife.
Your yellow onesie and teddy bear.
His secret gay lover’s half empty jar of vanilla scented anal lube.
Your off duty goat.
Nobody said golf clubs?
His real passport
A goat.
A picture of either Bill or Hill.
His Chelsea Clinton inflatable doll.
Pajama boy pajamas.
His credit Card
his dignity
His video game console.
His parole officer
A merkin.
I’m a bit unconventional. The day we got married I took my wife to Bourbon Street. Friday luncheon at Galatoires. Then we had our first dance at Bourbon Cowboy – the band chose to play Martin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On”. ( The crowd went apeshit when they found out it was our first dance) The next day I rented a boat,loaded it with beer, wine and tackle and took her fishing in the Rigolets. Then we had her mom visit us for s I x weeks.
Your fucking “smart” phone.
Steve Harvey.
Amway is a pyramid scam and it takes any normal person about 30 seconds to figure that out.
A failed business model from the gitgo.
I can’t believe OD was so slow to grasp it!
I feel really bad about blasting OD. He is so brilliant here but to not see through that just floors me.
Who’s OD?
A Rastafarian named Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla with his lizard hanging over his shoulder.
Fishing tackle
His mistress
Baseball card collection
Mother in law
His mother?
His boyfriend.
Pictures of your ex’s
His little black book.
Playing cards, beer, poker chips and three drinking buddies!
A portable tv and a subscription to the sports channel!
I went on a friend’s honeymoon cruise. As did his parents. Amway cruise.
His wife was pissed. As were the other half of the cruise passengers who weren’t Amway people. 🙂
Lovemaking for Dummies.
Ipecac.
VD
Aw Hell,
My dad brought his canoe, fishing tackle and camping gear, and they had a great time out in the wilderness!
A flashlight and car keys.
There’s an old joke based on that theme.
Your kids.
His Caitlyn Jenner outfit.
Quran and razor blades.
O.M.G. It’s bad enough being around anyone who tests Amway positive. How the hell does anyone survive half a ship full of ’em?
Valtrex
Either Obama.
His lawyer.
Her lawyer 🙂
Any or all of us at IOTW…
Unless she’s one of us.
Your cold sores and Herpes Cream?
a shaved German Shepard & a Polaroid camera
TV Guide.
A date.
His mother.
His father.
Her mother.
Her father.
Her brother.
Adult diapers.
Chocolate, whipped cream and a cat of nine tails.
An egg timer.
your prized collection of all your former girlfriends
pubicshaved armpit hair… with an extra sample container
(had to cross out the ‘p’ word there…. didn’t want you to think that I was …. oh, nevermind …. I am)
anal lube
Your kiddie porn collection.
His Vagina
Amway sucks, they’re is nothing worse than a damned persistent scamway salesperson, not even Jehovah Witnesses are that obnoxious. JW’s you can usually blow off by telling them you’re not interested. We’ve had scamway and Shaklee salespeople join our church just so they could sell to gullible people. Generally when they’re found out they either leave or we tell them to leave. They are truly annoying pests selling cheap shit to suckers. A boatload of these annoying hucksters would be hell on Earth.
His Cell phone
Richard Simmons….
@judgeroybean – by about midweek the non-Amway people were pissed, not all of us were trying to sign them up but enough were. And they thought it would be a nice relaxing Caribbean cruise.
I did it for a couple of years in the early 90s. I was particularly interested in selling some of the products rather than signing up people, but spent a couple of years doing the weekend conventions etc. Some great people in there, and I learned a lot about business, but I wasn’t cut out for it.
101 Terrific Solitaire Games in hardback.
Your male sex robot.
Origami and macramé supplies, plus three paint-by-numbers coloring books.
An envelope full of coupons for dollars off for Beano, Gas-X, and Earwax-B-Gone.
Double-ended dildo.
The DVD How to Field Dress an Elk with your SawzAll
His other wife.
Your yellow onesie and teddy bear.
His secret gay lover’s half empty jar of vanilla scented anal lube.
Your off duty goat.
Nobody said golf clubs?
His real passport
A goat.
A picture of either Bill or Hill.
His Chelsea Clinton inflatable doll.
Pajama boy pajamas.
His credit Card
his dignity
His video game console.
His parole officer
A merkin.
I’m a bit unconventional. The day we got married I took my wife to Bourbon Street. Friday luncheon at Galatoires. Then we had our first dance at Bourbon Cowboy – the band chose to play Martin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On”. ( The crowd went apeshit when they found out it was our first dance) The next day I rented a boat,loaded it with beer, wine and tackle and took her fishing in the Rigolets. Then we had her mom visit us for s I x weeks.
Your fucking “smart” phone.
Steve Harvey.
Amway is a pyramid scam and it takes any normal person about 30 seconds to figure that out.
A failed business model from the gitgo.
I can’t believe OD was so slow to grasp it!
I feel really bad about blasting OD. He is so brilliant here but to not see through that just floors me.
Who’s OD?
A Rastafarian named Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla with his lizard hanging over his shoulder.