A reader sent this in. This is priceless:
Someone I know pranked the City of Portland, Oregon the other day. His wife owns a shop right in the middle of all that urban craziness. Near her store is a parking space that is designated for motorcycles only. Nobody ever parks a motorcycle there (probably because they don’t want it stolen or vandalized.) He wanted to park near his wife’s store, but all the other spaces are always full. So, he puts a sign on his car that states, “I identify as a motorcycle,” and parked in the motorcycle space. He watched as the parking ticket person called their boss for guidance. The boss had to contact the City Attorney for guidance.
. . . . No Ticket! LOL!
We’ll let the reader self-identify in the comments if they so desire.
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
Hard to believe, but you say it’s Portland so perhaps it’s possible.
I didn’t know that VW made motorcycles.
This vehicle may need some counseling, it is relatively slow but thInks it is a hells angel.
I’m debating doing something similar on the next census. Just have to figure which part of the current alphabet soup out there I want to be.
I had my buddy identify as a comfort dog and he got to ride the airplane for free! Had to sit in the middle seat however and eat leftover table scraps! But still saved a boatload of money!
Well Tim, you are different. Live on the edge and make something up. ‘They’ do.
I’m about 35 lbs overweight but I identify as a thin man, yes I’m translender.
You can do the same with your SUV.
Park it in the economy space and place a sign that says it believes it is a prius.
I saw a pickup truck today that had the following on the rear window: This Truck Identifies as a Cooper Mini Got a good chuckle out of that.
I identify as (fill in name of gorgeous married model)…
Does that mean you can grab her ass with impunity?
Definitely body dismorphic disorder
I see the tires are black and everybody knows #blacklivesmatter so kiss my ass Portland.
I identify as a witty, and fetchingly dashing rogue with a barrel of fifties at my disposal
LOL, let the slippery slope begin……….
Park in handicapped and say you identify as a quadriplegic.
Cant wait until Sturgis rally. Put that on my pt cruiser.
along with my magnetic Trump sign. Should get a lot of thumbs ups
Ehhhh, I love the premise. But the pics don’t tell me it’s actually parked in that motorcycle spot through all three. There are zero markers in the pics that tie them all together. And of course the anecdotal story is what it is.
For instance the rear car in the 2nd pic is not visible in the first pic. The street sign, parking kiosk, and light pole in the first pic are not visible in the second pic. Calling bullshit.
Look – Don’t have an explanation of why the City of Portland decided to take a perfectly good parallel parking space and convert it to motorcycles. Instincts offered other solutions when I first learned that this prime spot next to our retail business had been converted.
Seemed like this option offered the best risk to reward proposition. For example, tools to remove the placard could result in a consequence greater than a parking ticket.
I parked the car. I thought up the sign. I made the signs. I placed the signs. I snapped the photos. Admission of some curiosity about how the public may react. I’ll say that I respect diversity and although I may not agree with the position of all of our neighbors, I welcome debate, conversation and respectful demonstration of position. Appreciate that I live in the United States of America as a citizen. Recognize and put an emphasis on what we all have in common as opposed to focusing on the differences.
As a member of this neighborhood, I have issues with this converted parking space that are as follows: A) I don’t see motorcyclists complaining about a shortage of parking B) Curbside parking inventory (for cars) has declined considerably since our store opened nearly 5 years ago. C) The space has a smallish placard at the back of the space and no placard at the front of the space which results in a continuous stream of tickets written all day, every day.
I identify as someone who had more…
Not guilty!
I agree with all of this. But “look” I don’t have an explanation of why zero reference markers make it from one pic to the other. Call me skeptic. I’m cool with that.
Understand that this type of manipulation of a series of photos is used often. I’m not saying you did this here. What I am saying is that the anecdotal story is the least worrisome thing when there is three cropped photos involved.
Parking Vigilante, you didn’t take just 3 pics. Nobody in the history of endless digital space takes exactly the number of pictures needed to tell a story. I want you to tell me I’m wrong
….with other pictures. I mean your story is good and funny. I’m not buying it though.
A 300 word takedown of Portland’s parking rules/habits/laws does not make the pictures any more valid. I get it. You don’t like their rules. It’s a shithole. I agree. Move.
It appears to me that the first pic was taken from above the fender of car #2. Hence no car #2.
The light pole is far enough back from the curb and toward the rear of the hot VW TSI 2.0 Turbo Wagen. Hence no light pole in pic #2.
Count me a believer in the pics and the story!
I’d like to see how they photoshop those flailing tentacles on Beto’s waif-line torso. (Did they get them from a car wash display?)
Not one single thing in one picture is in another picture. Listen, I love this story. I don’t think it’s true, especially with the “no ticket” nonsense, because a government employee had to call in to see if a car could identify as a motorcycle. Let’s not become the idiot left.
A government lackey would ticket the shit out of a car in this spot. They are robots. And this bullshit that a robot got discombobulated over a car with a “topical” sign and had to call a supervisor is asinine. Again, do not become the sheep of the left.
“It appears to me that the first pic was taken from above the fender of car #2. Hence no car #2.”
FFS
No shit Moxie Man. We all own wide HD capable phones. The screens in our pockets can capture every color the human eye can perceive. Also wide screen capture. These pictures are cropped. There is not one thing in one picture that is in another picture. It would be hard for any of the markers to be missing in these pictures giving the wide screen capability of current phones. They are cropped.
The car could identify as an Amazonas 1600 motorcycle. Which is powered by a VW engine.
https://www.motorcyclespecs.co.za/model/Custom%20Bikes/amazonas_1600.htm .
@RacKAttack
Try identifying as someone that has a life. Thank you.
my 12 mpg Chevy Silverado 2500 HD wants to save the earth from Trumps so it identifies as a Tesla sports coupe.
“We all own wide HD capable phones.”
No. I don’t. I still have a rotary phone that I can use during a blackout.
(along with that radio-phone thing with a base – but no cell phone – they’ll rot your brain! It’s a fact! I saw it in a movie!)
izlamo delenda est …
My only question is who did Portland belong to before we got it and would they consider taking it back? Oh wait, it was Great Britain and they have enough on their plate at the moment.
One of the enduring meme’s on Facebook vehicle groups is to find the “Green Vehicle Parking Only” spots that some area keep, and shoehorn in a dually pickup truck, or monster SUV with green paint.
I identify with being ‘WOKE’ even though I am still half asleep!
I identify as a male lesbian.
The story is 100% true.
I know the reader involved with this for years.
I changed the relationship of the 2nd party to protect anonymity and to guard against some SJW going down there and fucking with the store.
It would have been even more rewarding if that had been a VW TDI Sportwagon with a dirty diesel in it, but I don’t think those are allowed in the Portland city limits.
BFH
An auto related ad
Sundays classified section
How does it run
Performance tune feedback tach
Hey RacKAttacK.
I’m the guy who sent this in. My brother is the one who pulled the prank, and Yes, it is true! That space has been there for f0ur years, and folks park their cars there all the time, and get ticketed there up to ten times per day. It’s a revenue scam by the city.
Here’s a bit more–>
March 27, 2019
Parking in the City of Portland Oregon
I parked my personal vehicle in a space marked by the City of Portland for motorcycles only. I fed the meter and put the paid parking receipt in the window, curbside as directed. I then placed special signage on the windshield and next to the parking receipt. When I returned from lunch a couple hours later, I was pleased to see that the car was as I had left it; No tickets, no broken windows.
Apparently the person who writes tickets approached the retail store located closest to this parking spot and asked if they had knowledge of the owner of the vehicle that was parked in that spot earlier in the day.
Allegedly the parking enforcement officer contacted their supervisor to ask for guidance given this circumstance that they hadn’t before encountered. The two decided not to ticket the car (motorcycle) at that time. Apparently their decision was to pass on that ticket in that the consequences may outweigh the revenue generated.
Back story is that perhaps a couple of months ago my wife called to complain about a change that was made. She shows up at her fashion boutique in an upscale Portland neighborhood, known as the Pearl District and notices something different. The parallel parking space immediately in front of her store had been marked for motorcycle parking exclusively.
Why would this happen when we just don’t see any motorcycles parked in the area? Over the four plus years since the retail space opened, there have been many nearby parking spaces taken out of inventory due to construction making each space is even more valuable. My wife asked what we could do. Writing a letter to the city seemed a waste of time. Tools to adjust the marking offered too much risk relative to the reward. Portland is a city, if not the city that may respect such a sign as was used.
I’ll also mention that I would be interested to learn how many tickets have been served on vehicles parked in this space. We suspect that it is likely that as many as ten or more tickets may have been written on cars parked in that space in a day. The signage is not clear. One placard is placed at the back of the space, nothing marked in the front of the space. If a car is parked in the space behind, it is unlikely that a driver would notice the placard.
LOL!
RacKAttacK!
I’m the sister of BFH! This is the absolute truth 100% of it, not a fancy photography stunt. Just the plain truth. This is also a great illustration of how ridiculous society has become. The privately contracted parking patrol is horrible and discourages people from shopping in Portland, adding to the terrible business climate Portland leaders have fostered.