This is why comedians won’t play colleges anymore.
The two bills set a definition of sexual harassment that mirrors the Obama administration’sview of Title IX, and incentivize college employees to report anything that the most delicate person on campus might consider sexual harassment.
Can you imagine a subject more likely to cause offense than sexuality and gender? That’s FIRE’s question for the activists. “Without an objective requirement, students and faculty are held hostage to the personal feelings and opinions of their accusers, no matter how unusual or even unreasonable.”
…The bill literally makes failure to report a Class B misdemeanor, which can earn up to six months in jail.
Well, fortunately we are not on campus, so:
What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
That’s sure to trigger.
Feel free to drop yours in the comments.
I think it should be at least a misdemeanor to run a Pro America First and Pro President Trump website and not at least acknowledge the Presidents Birthday with a thread.
If they’ve outlawed jokes that anybody might take as sex-oriented, then that leaves out jokes about furry and barnyard animals, automobile exhaust pipes, cantaloupes, feather dusters, feet, washing machines, horseback riding, and hands.
Yep, that will get them ready for the job market.
A young man from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to the big “Everything Under One Roof” department store where he approaches the manager to ask for a job.
The manager asks him: “Do you have any experience?”
The kid says: “Well, yeah, some. I was a vacuum cleaner salesman back in North Dakota.”
The manager was a little unsure, but he liked the kid and figured it was worth giving him a shot at it, so he gave him the job saying: “Well look, I’m gonna give you a chance. You start tomorrow. When the day is over and we’re closed up I’ll come down to see how you did”
His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was closed, the boss came down to the sales floor to see how he had done. “How many customers bought something from you today?”
The kid sort of frowns, looks around then down at the floor and says: “just one”.
The boss says: “Excuse me, did you just say just one? As in one… single customer?
Listen up son, our sales people average 20 – 30 customers a day and you’re telling me you had one?? That will have to change, but quick, if you want to keep working here! One sale a day might have been acceptable in North Dakota, but you’re not down on the farm anymore boy!”
The kid took his beating, and continued looking down at the floor. The boss felt a little guilty for chewing him out on his first day, so he asked the kid, somewhat sarcastically, “I’m afraid to ask, but how much exactly was your one sale for?”
The kid looks up brightly, smiles and says: “$101,237.65”
The boss is dumbfounded and says: “Get outta here! What in the world did you sell for that kind of money?!?”
The kid says: “Well, first I sold this guy some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with them. Then I asked him where he was gonna go fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a good boat. That’s when we went down to the boat department where I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he told me he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so naturally we went down to Automotive where I sold him a 4X4 Expedition.
After taking a moment to think about it, the boss blinked his eyes, rubbed his temples and said:
“Now wait just a darn minute here.
Yer telling me a guy came in here to buy fish hooks and you wound up selling him tackle, a boat AND a truck?”
The kid, kind of embarrassed says “Ahhhhhhhh, well, nooo, not exactly, umm….
… actually the guy just came in here to buy some tampons for his wife.
That’s when I said “Dood, your weekend’s shot, you need to go fishing.”
Will Baptist colleges in Texas ban jokes like this, Why don’t Baptists make love standing up? Because it might lead to dancing.
That’ll fix those people who mess with Texas.
(I used up all my sex jokes on women in Washington.)
geoff the aardvark JUNE 14, 2019 AT 8:33 PM
“Will Baptist colleges in Texas ban jokes like this, Why don’t Baptists make love standing up? Because it might
lead tobe mistaken for dancing.”FIFY – Actual home-grown Texan when “blue laws” ruled on Sundays.
I yearn for the ‘good old days’ when limitations were based on common sense and public dignity.
Outside the STEM fields, college has become a
very expensive waste of time and effort.
If you want your kids brainwashed and useless
college is the place.
If You think Love is a pain in the ass…You’re doing it the wrong way
(CB Radio chatter circa 1975)
Speaking of Texas jokes..
Some time ago TWU, Texas Women’s University, combined with NTU, North Texas University, (Where Mean Joe Greene went to school).
For some unknown reason they rejected the obvious acronym for this union – the Combined Universities of North Texas – C.U.N.T.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
3 point-
https://iotwreport.com/thousands-of-leftist-morons-take-twitter-and-make-believe-they-love-mccain-in-order-to-disrupt-presidents-birthday/
Texas Admin: What are you laughing about?
Students: SEX!
Adim: What’s so funny about sex?
Student: Well,if you don’t remember, honey…
TRF,
Notta NoDak NoDakian
But I slept there
Great Times
Great People
Blue Sundays Too
BFH,
So no thread?
This is a two-fer. Also covers the Perfume/seamen item.
A guy in London visits Jo Malone’s perfume store to get a gift for his boy friend back in San Fran. He asks the dandy behind the counter for suggestions. The dandy recommended a new item from France, $250.00 a half ounce, but “it’s exquisite, and very popular among the LGTB community, selling like hot c**kes. Hee, hee,you know what I mean. Oh My.”
The guy is thrilled and asks what is it called.
“It’s called “Venez a Moi,” in French, which means “Come to Me,” in
English.”
Oh my, said the guy, may I Have a whiff.
He takes a whiff.
Hell, that don’t smell like cum to me!
OK I tried. WTF!
I thought Oral Roberts University was where two queers named Bob went to school.
What’s the difference between sex and dinner with a movie?
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Would you like to go out to dinner and a movie?
What’s the difference between sex and dinner with a movie too?
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About 4 hours and 45 minutes.
On Average.
Groucho Marxist JUNE 14, 2019 AT 9:48 PM
“What’s the difference between sex and dinner with a movie?”
…well, no one ever told me “Congratulations, it’s a boy” nine months after watching a movie, so there’s that…
Once upon a time there was a man who had a girlfriend, who was a feminist.
One night he asked her to marry him. She said no.
So he got himself a beautiful apartment, joined a golf and fishing club, bought a Mercedes, joined a cigar club, got laid when he felt like it, saved thousands of dollars, didn’t have to worry about anything, as his housekeeper took care of his laundry along with her other chores. And he lived happily ever after.
End of story.
Oh, he also bought a boat. I forgot that.
This just in: College in Colorado just made the ironic eyebrow lift, smirking, and ‘casting a jaundiced eye’ all fineable offenses.
I’m not one to tell sexual jokes, but I have heard one.
In the throes of ecstasy, a slut proclaims, “Hurt me!” The squire retorts, “Your tits are ugly and your cunt stinks”.
…in that vein, @Anonymous…
A masochist says “Hurt me, Hurt me!”
A sadist replies, “no”.
…think about it…
Wow, usually it’s democrats that suck all the fun out of things…