A lonely 70-year-old widow decided that it was time to marry again. She put an ad in the local newspaper that read: “Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me and must still be good in bed. All applicants please apply in person.”
The following day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.
“You’re not really asking me to consider you, are you?” the widow asked: “Just look at you — you have no legs!”
The old gent smiled: “Therefore, I cannot run around on you!”
“You don’t have any arms either!” she snorted.
Again, the old man smiled: “Therefore, I can never beat you!”
She raised an eyebrow and asked intently: “Are you still good in bed?”
The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said: “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”
His name was Matt?…
OK…he cleaned yer boots as you walked in the house too, but would ya be willing to have sex on the porch…regularly?…
LOL! That was hella funny, even DH got a kick out of it. I sent it to my friends.
I still have her email address for anyone interested. 🙂
if I’m 70 & still sproutin’ wood … I’m going around the neighborhood showing it off & taking on all ‘comers’ 😉
I’m packing wood – balsa wood.
My semi-annual hardon is now an annual semi-hardon.
When he goes water skiing they call him Skip
It’s only 2 inches………………………from the floor.
‘My semi-annual hardon is now an annual semi-hardon.’
Call your doctor if your erection lasts for more than one year.
When he floats in the water they call him bob
In the bed room she found out he used his nose.
When he fell onto the grill they called him frank.
That is a classic!