It’s 2017, and we’re starting off the year with one of those “you’re just not with it unless you’re doing something stupid” stories.
Last year Gwyneth Paltrow taught women that they should be steaming their haynannynanny.
This woman says you should be putting a jade egg up there and using it to lift heavy objects. She claims it will, among other things, take the wrinkle out of your face. (Meanwhile, her forehead looks like a package of hotdogs.)
That looks like a can of cranberry sauce.
Yes, she’s lifting a surfboard with her surfboard.
There’s a “woody” joke in here somewhere, but I don’t want to linger around to find it. I’m still trying to craft a weightlifting/snatch joke.
Video HERE.
HT/ rob e.
My first story of 2017 from IOTWREPORT.
I expect nothing less. Nice Obama graphic, I might add.
Maybe some sand, and some very lonely time. Voila! A pearl.
Next up: Rosie O’Donnell lifts a Volvo with her vulva.
Seems to be pulling her boobs inside out.
Then again, she could be cheating. That jade egg might be up her ass.
Gives new meaning to the word “Snapper”.
This is the feminist answer for equality regarding penis enlargement infomercials.
It’s not that a civilized society can’t survive people such as these. It can, if they’re dealt with appropriately.
They’re not.
Things to brag about in the bar I guess.
So, can she lift you up off the bed by the dinky?
Biggest dingleberry I’ve ever seen. And what’s that between the dingleberry’s legs?
Interesting. A kegeler without a bowling shirt.
How do these idiots dream this shit up. Will this be a new category in the Olympics? And here’s Susie, the current vagina heavy weight lifting champion of the world. Twat a world.
Is this for vaginas only? Would it work on “The Irish Curse,” or “The Whiskey Dick”? Just askin’ Meerkat?
Speaking as the owner/operator of a penis, I have zero objections to this woman’s hobby.
Gentlemen, if your lady is into Kegel exercises, you know where I’m coming from here.
No pun intended.
Harbqll
Every time I see your Avatar I smile and say, “I’m a leaf on the wind.”
Surfboard, chandelier, pots, pans…… ?
Bet it makes her walk funny.
It would be embarrassing to take her to the mall.
>VietVet
**–Next up: Rosie O’Donnell lifts a Volvo with her vulva.”–**
No,wait! That’s not what really happened! The Volvo was scared to get anywhere near that thing and leapt into the air while simultaneously asking “How high?”
George Takei will say “Oh dear.”
Notice Barry is wearing Madcows garb?
She can probably purse her lips and whistle Dixie also but I don’t see the advantage.
What the… Why the… Huh???
Are batteries included?
Oh, fer cryin’ out loud.
This broad and others like her (Paltrow) have too much free time on their hands.
Looks like obolo is giving herself a reach around.
Starting the New Year off right
The picture of Barry looks like he’s dropping his Ben Wha ball out his ass and the tape worm came with it.
Could be useful. “Bring me a bowl of nachos, a pizza, and a six pack.” Now in one trip.
Definitely took the wrinkles out of my face
Just think about all of the money she can save by squeezing out her used tampons and recycling them….
There’s an old song that said “Want to see me do my thing, pull my string” kind of reminds me of that.
Geez, reminds of the movie I saw on the channel guide a few days ago, Teeth.
Or the Japanese movie about the girls with vajaja ninja bubbles from hell that defeated the bad guys.
Yes, but can she shoot a hard boiled egg across the bar?
… by the time she’s 60 she’ll be tripping over her lips
She gives an entirely new meaning
to “pulling a train”.
Can she open a pickle jar with it after she makes a sammich? I wanna pickle.
Yeah….no. If you do old fashioned Kegel exercises, regularly shower and do minimal grooming, you can keep hoohas healthy, firm, and non-stinky.
-vagina owner/operator
5th decade
I was in a bar once where the entertainment put a whole peeled banana up her cooter and would pinch off a piece for anyone willing to eat it.
Let’s see Hamilton beat that for classy entertainment.
@OpenTheDoor January 2, 2017 at 8:54 am
Now, that’s the kind of domestically unavailable, “specialty occupation,” that more H-1B visas are needed for!