Want to Stave Off Winter Depression? “Sexpert” Says to Fap Every Day – IOTW Report

Want to Stave Off Winter Depression? “Sexpert” Says to Fap Every Day

NYP-

As we approach the new year, many Americans are gearing up to undertake Dry January 2022 — but one sex expert is campaigning to make the notoriously parched month much wetter. 

Ness Cooper, a clinical sexologist in Britain, is encouraging people to masturbate every single one of January’s 31 days, advising that dedicated self-gratification staves off seasonal depression during what studies show is the most miserable time of the year. 

Cooper also claims autoeroticism drives untold mental health benefits, and urges people to tune up their bodies when they feel their mood stalling out.

“It’s to focus on spending time with yourself and get to know your body,” the outspoken sexpert told Jam Press.

However, considering how pandemic-plagued 2021 was such a tough nut to crack, stressed-out citizens may not be in the mood to pound their privates every 24 hours — but Cooper says it’s important to prioritize pleasure, and she’s got the tasty tricks to whet the appetite.

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40 Comments on Want to Stave Off Winter Depression? “Sexpert” Says to Fap Every Day

  1. “I love myself
    I want you to love me
    When I feel down
    I want you above me
    I search myself
    I want you to find me
    I forget myself
    I want you to remind me

    I don’t want anybody else
    When I think about you
    I touch myself
    Oh, I don’t want anybody else
    Oh no, oh no, oh no”
    -Christine Amphlett, “I Touch Myself”

    https://youtu.be/wv-34w8kGPM

    “Well, I see ’em every night in tight blue jeans
    In the pages of a Blueboy magazine
    Hey, hey, I’ve been thinking of a new sensation
    I’m picking up good vibrations

    Oop, she bop, she bop

    Do I wanna go out with a lion’s roar?
    Yeah, I wanna go south and get me some more
    Hey, they say that a stitch in time saves nine
    They say I better stop or I’ll go blind

    Oop, she bop, she bop

    She bop, he bop, we bop
    I bop, you bop, they bop
    Be bop, be bop, a lu bop
    I hope he will understand
    She bop, he bop, we bop
    I bop, you bop, they bop
    Be bop, be bop, a lu she bop
    Oh, she do, she bop

    Hey, hey they say I better get a chaperone (Ha ha ha)
    Because I can’t stop messin’ with the danger zone
    Hey, hey I won’t worry and I won’t fret
    Ain’t no law against it yet”
    -Cyndi Lauper, “She Bop”

    https://youtu.be/KFq4E9XTueY

    2
  2. OverviewListenLyricsVideos
    Lonely boys and you lonely girls
    Here at the end of the lonely world
    You’re finding out
    If there’s someone to cry about
    Lonely girls and you lonely boys
    Playing alone with your lonely toys
    Well don’t be blue
    If there’s no one to play with you

    Get a grip on yourself you know you should
    I got a grip on myself and it feels good
    Get a grip on yourself take my advice
    I got a grip on myself and it feels nice

    When the lights come on and the party’s through
    There are always a few with nobody to do
    Well now don’t despair
    You’ll eventually get there
    And meanwhile all of you lonely ones
    Here’s what to do while you wait for the sun
    To rise above
    The loneliest kind of love

    Get a grip on yourself you know you should
    I got a grip on myself and it feels good
    Get a grip on yourself take my advice
    I got a grip on myself and it feels nice”
    -Semisonic, “Get A Grip”

    https://youtu.be/jrdZNNG4S8g

  3. “Now everybody, have you heard, if you’re in the game
    Then the stroke’s the word
    Don’t take no rhythm,
    Don’t take no style
    Gotta thirst for killin’,
    Grab your vial uh

    Put your right hand out, give a firm handshake
    Talk to me about that one big break
    Spread your ear pollution, both far and wide
    Keep your contributions by your side and

    Stroke me, stroke me
    Could be a winner boy you move mighty well
    Stroke me, stroke me (stroke)
    Stroke me, stroke me
    You got your number down
    Stroke me, stroke me
    Say you’re a winner but babe, you’re just a sinner now

    Put your left foot out, keep it all in place
    Work your way right into my face
    First you try to bet me, you make my backbone slide
    When you find you’ve bled me, slip on by, and”
    -Billy Squire, “The Stroke”

    https://youtu.be/69fPof-ZTnU

    1
  4. Less than once a day is neglect, more than three is abuse or so I’ve been told.

    At my age you: Never trust a fart, never pass a bathroom and never waste an erection.

    5
  5. Ness Cooper, a clinical sexologist in Britain, is encouraging people to masturbate every single one of January’s 31 days, advising that dedicated self-gratification staves off seasonal depression during what studies show is the most miserable time of the year.
    ———————

    But, what if I’m not depressed? I guess I live under a rock, I’ve never heard the term “Fap” for playing with yourself. Fap, sounds like something a weed smoker would do. Not that there’s anything wrong in fapping. 🙂

    1
  6. @Jethro – I didn’t even have to open your link. I knew exactly what Chuck Berry song you were referring to. LOL LOL!

    “When I was a little bitty boy
    My grandmother bought me a cute little toy
    Silver bells hanging on a string…”

    2
  7. Here’s my cure for “winter depression”, and all year depression as a matter of fact:
    Don’t listen to the “experts”. Your life will improve dramatically!
    I don’t know about you, but her “cure” seems awfully depressing.

    11
  8. No great empire was ever built by a bunch of assholes who jerked off all day. That’s why the globalists pay dumbass attention whore “sexologists” to give such incredibly shitty advise to the public.

    13
  9. TheMule January 2, 2022 at 10:06 am

    No great empire was ever built by a bunch of assholes who jerked off all day.
    —————————–

    However, great empires were destroyed over their deviant behaviors against God and nature. Sodom and Gomorrah, Rome, etc. Nations come and go, but God doesn’t.

    5
  10. It says right there:
    “Google is paying $27485 to $29658 consistently for taking a shot at the web from home.”
    So apparently there’s an income opportunity as well!
    Otherwise, why not go for the real thing?

  11. “…But Rosie you’re all right – you wear my ring
    When you hold me tight – Rosie that’s my thing
    When you turn out the light – I’ve got to hand it to me
    Looks like it’s me and you again tonight Rosie…”

    1
  12. Leave it to the left to suggest an addictive behavior to distract people from the real cause of their misery – mandated progressive socialist policies and other methods of communism.

    If you’re too busy playing with yourself, you will be caught by surprise – so to speak, when the jackboots come knocking at your door.

    Besides that’s the only gratification they hope you’ll have once the Neo-Nazi elitists lock you in their concentration camps for violating some mandated infraction. The left want people to get used to being depraved and desperate.

    2
  13. I wank on Zoom; Yeah, like nobody else
    I wank on Zoom, Yeah, like nobody else
    Cause you know when I wank on Zoom
    I prefer to apply myself

    Each evening just before bedtime
    Dont need no high end whore
    Just me and my gal Rosie Palmer
    Thats all I need to score

    REFRAIN

    The other night went out for Beef Strokinoff
    And who perchance did I meet
    But that old Slav perv, Jac Mehoff
    And his wingman, Ivan Beat

    REFRAIN

    The other day was invited to choke chickens
    And it made me feel homesick
    For my teenage pal, Johnny Pullet
    And his brothers Tug and Dick

    REFRAIN

    Now the whole damn world done shunned me
    And Im feeling less than grand
    The only one who relieves me
    Is that old Yank, Lefty Hand

    2
  14. Toobin, Toobin, Toobin,
    Keep that hand a’ strokin,
    Toobin, Toobin, Toobin,
    Rawpalm!
    (Zipper opening sound)

    Don’t try to understand it,
    Just grab, fondle, and stroke it,
    Soon I’ll be livin’ high and wet
    Rawpalm…Rawpalm…Rawpalm!

Comments are closed.