You know those jokes about how tough Chuck Norris is …
- There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
- If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
- Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad, he has never cried.
- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
- The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
- Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Well, it’s time to write some for Tucker Carlson.
I know you can do it!
Winner gets a free life-time supply of a bazillion iOTWr bucks!
h/t Jason
Is a Brazilian more than a bazillion?
Off the top of my tired head:
Say it – Tucker Man!
Look into the mirror and say the “Tucker Man’s” name five times. Tucker Man, Tucker Man, Tucker Man, Tucker Man, Tucker Man.
Then you will see a pair of red glowing eyes appear staring back at you. As soon as you see those creepy eyes, you must turn on the light and run or else he will give you a confused stare then laugh.
The UnderTucker as in undertaker but the trans-fucked ruined the work tuck…
Tucker Carlson reports on tomorrow’s news….today.
Tucker is so conservative that he thinks Reagan was a communist
Govt agencies are adopting a new ethics standard. It consists simply of a picture of Tucker Carlson with the caption Don’t Be Like Him.
In the new Tucker game, you go around and when it’s your turn you describe something that’s really, really obvious to you but that nobody else seems to get. The winner of the game? Everybody wins.
I always like this one;
Tucker Carlson was counted to infinity………….twice
Tucker Carlson told Perry White to hire Clark Kent….
Tucker Carlson tells the Farmers Almanac what the weather is going to be….
Tucker Carlson could even make Brian Stelter get good ratings.
Tucker Carlson told Thomas Paine that “Common Sense” was a better title for his writings …
Tucker Carlson is so brilliant, he can turn Obama in a heterosexual patriot.
Tucker Carlson is good, but he’ll never be a ‘tucker’.
Tucker Carlson told Alex Trebek the questions…
Tucker Carlson gave Vanna White her first vowel…
TUCKER INVENTED THE “CREEPY PORN LAWYER”
Tucker taught Newsmax how to steal Fox News’ lunch money.
James O’Keefe: “Independent news will overtake mainstream media.”
Tucker Carlson: “Hold my beer – and it ain’t Bud Lite!”
Tucker Carlson doesn’t need to wear a watch, he simply decides what time it is.
Tucker Carlson has recipe ideas for Joy Reid’s neck fat….
@willy^^^^
EEEWWWwwwwww!
Tucker Carlson is not the problem, the left and the lamestream media is the problem. They don’t like being told the obvious truth about the goodness of the American people and it’s driving them batshit crazy. Tucker is a truth spreader, the left are nothing but manure spreaders. The truth always will come out, lies doesn’t do anything but spread divisiveness and discord. Maybe Tucker is Clark Kent’s alter ego who stands for truth, justice and the American way.
Tucker Carlson is Clark Kent. It’s too bad phone booths no longer exist.
Fuck Joe Biden … raw.
Tucker, a direct descendant of the Tucker 48, shines his center headlight to illuminate the path around the left and rino turns.
^^Raw, raw, raw! That’s the spirit!
TUCKER. Drink responsibly.
Tucker is the Don Lemon squeezer.
Tucker gets more retribution than a Confessional.
Biden so scared of Tucker he had to buy off Fox News.
Tucker in the hen house now.
Left Wing so scared of Tucker, even Dem hoe’s accusing him, never met him.
Libtards afraid of Tucker with a straight life, straight wife, and 4 straight kids.
Tucker ain’t no tucker. He got the family to prove it.
Tucker so bad he already got a life-time supply of a bazillion iOTWr bucks!
Tucker Carlson’s toilet paper is so bad it don’t take shit off nobody!
Superman owns a pair of Tucker Carlson underwear
Tucker Carlson can watch ’60 Minutes’ in 10 minutes
Tucker is the reparations AOC and her ilk deserve!
Tucker Carlson can touch MC Hammer
Fox News tried to silence Tucker Carlson, so Tucker shut down Fox News w/ a 2 minute video
Tucker Carlson is the white blood cell of legacy media
Tucker Carlson doesn’t cook his meals anymore
… revenge is a dish best served cold
Tucker stayed at a Holiday Inn and IT got smarter…
when Tucker Carlson was a kid at school, his teachers would raise their hands in order to talk to him
most men have one testicle that is larger than the other one.
for Tucker Carlson each testicle is larger than the other one.
… it’s a friendly competition
Tucker eats coal in the mine, craps and it becomes a diamond mine.
The Tucker Carlson revolution will be televised.
Tucker Carlson gives the “woke” nightmares.
Truth is Tucker Carlson’s co-host.