Going to have that lobster bisque? Don’t bother, there isn’t any lobster in it. It’s a creature called a Langostino. It’s about 3 inches long and is closer to a sexually transmitted disease than to an actual lobster. It’s not even a prawn.
Ordering that Kobe beef at your town’s most expensive restaurant? Good luck. It’s not Kobe beef. Japan exports their rare Kobe beef to very few places. In fact, in all of Manhattan, known for its high end steak houses, only 3 restaurants receive the Kobe. The rest get Wagyu. Passable, but not Kobe.
How about going for some sushi? Guess what? You’re not getting the fish you think you’re getting. Unless you’re bringing in your own white tuna, you’re not getting white tuna. You’re most likely getting escolar, a fish known as the ex-lax fish because of what it can do to your bowel movement.
Virgin olive oil? You’ve probably never had it. If you have you would never stand for the crap you buy at Costco.
Shrimp? You’re most likely eating banned Chinese shrimp which has been rerouted through Indonesia and stamped as its point of origin. It’s shrimp you shouldn’t be eating.
Red Snapper? Unless you caught it yourself you’re most likely eating talapia or tilefish.
The most trusted logo to look for is “Alaska Seafood: Wild, Natural, Sustainable.” Otherwise, it’s a crap shoot. Literally, because many fish farms have their fish floating in baths of sh*t.
Scallops are soaked at fish farms in order to bloat them to increase their weight in order to pad the sellers bottom line.
Food scamming is a multi-billion dollar industry, and we’re all victims.
That’s why I only eat Ring Dings and Pepsi. Authentic Pepsi. The Ring Dings sometimes taste a little suspicious.
Read about it HERE
ht/ nm
Kobe beef comes from Japan, not China.
Just sayin’.
🙂
Lazlo does not eat Sea Bugs, Snails, or Bi-valves.
I do not eat large bugs found on land either
I’ll just stick with the green eggs and ham.
I heard about a gal who went fishing in Alaska with seven guys. She came back with a big, red snapper.
Well, I’m going to Bar Harbor, Maine in October and I plan on eating a big ass lobster – and it better be the real deal or there will be hell to pay!
I went to an Indian casino for a Kobe Burger and I asked for it medium. They said it had to be cooked well done because they mix bacon fat in with the burger because Kobe beef is so lean it needs a little extra fat in it. If anyone has had Kobe or Waygu beef before you know that you don’t have to add any fat to it. Damn Indian casinos.
Hmmm, I wonder what those creatures are in the lobster tank at my local seafood place? Must be GIANT crawdads.
Grayjohn, those are giant lice.
There are many misstatements in this article….here is perhaps the biggest, and send me all the langostinos that you don’t want to eat…http://www.wisegeek.org/what-is-kobe-beef.htm
“There’s a sucker born every minute.”
(dead white dude)
And the Demonrat Party is Absolute Proof of that assertion!
Don’t pay $50 for a $12 steak … or fish … or whatever …
izlamo delenda est …
One of the very few things that California does that is actually what they say they do is certify olive oil claims. Evidently, the penalties are severe enough that the Cal olive oil producers find being honest about their product is the most profitable thing they can do. In any case, I’ve been buying California Olive Ranch extra virgin oil for years and it is excellent and not too expensive. What’s more, I don’t have to go to some chi-chi gourmet gyp-joint to get it: here in Florida I buy it at Publix.
And I’ll take some of those langostinos if willysgoatgruff will let me have some. Yum!
Stay away from my lagostinos Al, unless you bring the drinks…
@wgg – Will George Dickel do? Or maybe Bulleit Rye? (-:
I love me some crab salad made with genuine fake crab meat and spray painted red to look the part. Good stuff. Add cream cheese, mayo and celery. Ready to go.
Bay scallops or sea scallops?….bay scallops are real and sea scallops are punched out of a Skate….if your scallops are all the same size it’s a sea scallop….doesn’t make it taste bad, it’s just worth $5 a pound as opposed to $20…
Matrix cipher scene in the restaurant – “ignorance is bliss”