Complied by Middle Finger News Entertainment Reporter, Roach Clip Johnson, During a Series of Recent Lucid Moments
The Doors: You have been bitten by an animal while trying to get it stoned.
Jimi Hendrix: You are under 20 or over 65.
Black Sabbath: Your greatest joy is painting in unventilated rooms.
The Grateful Dead: Your stories about the ‘70s make your daughter’s roommates at Tufts very uncomfortable.
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So what if it’s Ted Nugent?
Cream: You know three different interpretations of the Pressed Rat and Warthog lyrics.
Jimmy Buffet: You think Why Don’t We Get Drunk (and Screw) is a real purty love song.
No Zepplin?
Long John Baldry: You still always pronounce it “Boojie-Woojie”.
I have been bitten by a crazy woman while getting her stoned.
Buffalo Springfield: You honestly think Jim Messina should have thought twice about joining Poco.
What if I prefer jazz, big bands, classical, and instruments (e.g., Chet Atkinson)?
Chet Atkinson? Nah, I prefer Erik Clapner.
Spooky Tooth, You Broke My Heart So I Busted Your Jaw.
David Bowie – There’s a gold lamay jump suit in the back of your closet that fit 30 years ago.
Elton John – You own an untuned upright piano with stacks of “greatest hits” song books collecting dust under the bureau with the missing foot.
Led Zepplin – There’s an empty lava lamp and broken black light in your attic that you really should take to Salvation Army some time.
The Who – You really need to clean the pool and replace the webbing on the old lawn chairs placed around the barbeque grill.
Bob Dylan – You either need your ears checked or have your Visiting Angel schedule you a visit with the gerontologist.
The Plastic ONO Band??? Great music to neuter a tom cat by.
Only that what most people consider classic rock is the stuff I bought as just released.
Uncle Al – your mention of Cream reminded me of that song, SWABLR. Remember that one?
We all used to work it out in the kid bands and never knew what the acronym stood for.
Jack Bruce’s co-writer, Pete Brown wrote it with Jack.
Pete, always the poet.
It stands for
“She Was Like A Bearded Rainbow!”
Trippy, man! 😆
Some of those are accurate
P. J. O’Rourke referred to Dylan as “Old Minnesota Mud Throat”
Amboy Dukes?
John Mayall?
Paul Butterfield?
The Electric Flag?
Yardbirds?
The Rascals?
Chicago?
Ultimate Spinach?
Mad River?
Jefferson Airplane?
I’m sure there’re more but I’m going out to smoke a Montecristo and read.
(don’t remember so well at my age … heh heh … age prolly isn’t the problem)
mortem tyrannis
izlamo delenda est …
Jethro Tull? Three Dog Night?
By the way..that photo…I think I see…a nipple!
After working for them, I can imagine what they say about me.
no dubious bros. or stealers wheel. captain f**k & his electric balogna sandwich
Did I miss the Rolling Stones? Or are they not included cause they are not only classic, but current?
Someone (looking at you IOTWrs) who is more clever than I should be able to come up with a good one about the boys!
Freaking spell check
Chet ATKINS!
@Agatha Kakalogical — You mean like this?
Rolling Stones: These days, when you go to a Stones concert (and you’ve been to more than 40 of them), you park in a handicapped space and then use a walker to get to your seat. And because you’ve been to all those concerts you now have cochlear implants and can barely hear the music but it doesn’t matter because you have memorized all the songs.
Grand Funk- You still go shirtless everywhere even though you got 73yo saggy man boobs.
MC5- you still sport a huge man perm…but now you got a big ole bald spot in the back.
Uncle Al. I thought I was the only remaining person who remember Long John Baldry. Or even heard of him. Wow. Wasn’t one side of that album produced by Elton John and the other produced by Rod Stewart? I have it on vinyl but I am too lazy to look it up.
Al, you sent me down the rabbit hole. You bastard. Sadly Spotify dropped the inquiry from the magistrate at the beginning of Boogie Woogie.
But Black Girl & It Ain’t Easy is still there.
That was the essence of rock back then.
Billy Joel? –
A woman WAY less attractive than Christie Brinkley dumped you…
HAAAAAaaaahahahahaha!!!!!!!
@PHenry — Good times! (I think. Pretty sure, anyway!)
@PHenry — This is one area that I trust Wikipedia. There’s nothing ideological or political about most of this stuff, and not that many people care anyway!
In their article about the album It Ain’t Easy, they say:
How I wished . . . and wished . . . and wished . . . and then you were here. Thank You GOD.
@Uncle Al, YES!
Black Sabbath: Your greatest joy is painting in unventilated rooms*.
*[usually without any Paint Respirators]
yep, but also, this is what yugo, serbian, croatian and bosnian men do as well, because they’re house painters by trade, and they don’t take to following superiors orders well so they’re self employed as painters pretty much their entire life. They also take 6 to 9 month vacations to the old country and are looked upto as heros in american, where as the 1 to 2 months they actually do work in america they are the foreigners from an adriatic sea facing country and looked up to as daring and mysterious men that have made it in america, but in reality they are looked down upon by their families because they are lazy men and never work much, always wanting to party, and are always borrowing money from their sister that married a multi millionaire self made man, and they have many out of wedlock children roaming the planet in search of who the fuck their father is.
I’m neither of these, I just know allot of these men. and I like Black Sabbath
@Uncle Al. I just went through my vinyl and I still have Long John Baldry on vinyl. 1971. It was to the left of all of the Beatles albums. Haha. I file by genre and alphabet.
I have hundreds of vinyl albums and hundreds of CDs. I should probably liquidate them. That would allow me the space to hoarde toilet tissue.
I guess I don’t need this stuff anymore.
A few that went unmentioned but were great live
Allman Brothers
Yes
Aerosmith
Foghat
Kansas
Styx
George Thorolygood & The Delaware Destroyers
Rush
Triumph
Robin Trower
Steve Miller
ELO
Kiss
Marshall Tucker
Boston
Uriah Heep
Todd Rundgren
Little Feat
Thin Lizzy
Head East
J Geils Band
Tom Petty
REO Speedwagon
Everybody forgot Quicksilver Messenger Service.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eBkTKIJDUA
Wintry Country Side. Mike and Nick.
In my personal experience, The Grateful Dead description is accurate.
1987 CD VCD remasterisé M&J 1988 Vanessa Paradis 1989 MnLnZ . . . v=Ulay2FvUEd8 https://youtu.be/Ulay2FvUEd8 . . . LND 1983 DrWho and mister How Wow . . . watch untranslated french 1988 music vid and then hit lyricstranslate com . . . COMM 6 4 DOOR