A retired jockey fell on her personal straw, right through her eye, suffering a life ending brain injury, so says the jockey’s wife.
Metal straws have seen a 1000% increase in sals since it’s been determined by science that they are dangerous to sea life.
Assistant coroner Brendan Allen issued a warning about the straws, saying that “great care should be taken” when using them.
“If someone does fall on one and it’s pointed in the wrong direction, serious injury can occur,” he said.
Better her than a sea turtle. – The Left
h/ sns
She sacrificed herself to protect sea turtles!
How sweet!
It worked, She just seriously reduced Her Carbon Footprint..Let’s
hope this Fad catches on out West !
We need to give a dozen of these to each of those “Prog Succer” bitches than have shunned a White House invitation, but accepted one from Chitmur.
…bear in mind that progtards will give these to children and tell them to “go play”…
Uhh … we need to send em to the Senate, the House, and the Supreme Court!
California
Massachusetts
Oregon
Washington
Illinois
Colorado
West Virginia
Northern Virginia
England
Saudi Arabia
Iran
Iraq
Palestine
…
izlamo delenda est …
Her wife? Make that her widow.
The nature of a metal straw requires it to be a thin-walled metal tube, and you can’t use it unless it’s around your head. This is a threat to necks, eyes, noses, lips, teeth, and just plain facial disfigurement.
…the neat thing about impaled objects is that you DON’T typically remove them in the field. You don’t have any way of determining what damage they’ve done internally, and they may be taponading an artery that will bleed out quicky if you remove it, in a place that you don’t have any way to control bleeding.
Standard protocol is to immobilize the object and the patient, at MOST cutting it down enough to be able to transport, but you HAVE to leave enough to get a grip on.
…you haven’t lived until you’ve tried to immobilize and stabilize a toddler with her brother’s Tinkertoy shaft embedded in the back of her throat after she started sucking on it and ran away from Mommy and fell when Mommy tried to get it back. You have to maintain her on her side so she doesn’t drown in her own blood, give oxygen because of unknown depleted volume, monitor blood loss and LOC CLOSELY because classic metrics like BP and pulse are useless because a child’s vascular system will keep blood pressure good even with reduced volume right up until the child dies, and keep her from biting it (and your fingers) in half while doing high-speed driving in heavy traffic over potholes.
Metal would be much, much worse. No flexibility AT ALL.
A metal straw is so stupid, only a liberal would love it.
Yeah, her wife? geez it never ends.
THINK OF THE CHILDREN!
OH WON’T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?! 🙄
Another carbon emitting sack that had a carbon footprint eliminated from the planet. Liberal goals achieved.
…I also used to wash dishes, by hand, in a Chinese restaurant that was too chintzy to get a machine. They even had me wash the wooden chopsticks for reuse.
If metal straws catch on in restaurants, someone like the much younger me will be responsible for “cleaning” them. I seriously doubt they will get a tiny bottle brush for the inside, or use them if they DO.
Look at your fellow restaurant customers and ask yourself if you would like to use their lightly-washed straw AFTER them…
I’m so relieved to know that thousands of New York subway travelers will soon be required to purchase and carry these environmentally-friendly drinking straws for their personal use.
After all, what could possibly go wrong?
…on the other hand, perhaps they should be standard issue for NFL kneelers to drink their Haterade with, especially on wet days when the sidelines are slippery…
OK Lazlo bought one of the straight ones a few years back.
They were sold as a novelty because they got really cold in your drink.
I use mine when I’m driving. But I don’t use a lid so I can pour my cans of mineral water whilst driving. So I probably won’t fall on it.
I bought mine so I could have another potential self defense item in my car. Just have to make sure I don’t run into something while drinking or I shall perish when the air bag goes off
Just another example of man made environmental problems killing people.
A woman cannot have a wife.
Lazlo The Elder
JULY 10, 2019 AT 8:43 AM
“OK Lazlo bought one of the straight ones a few years back.
They were sold as a novelty because they got really cold in your drink.
I use mine when I’m driving. But I don’t use a lid so I can pour my cans of mineral water whilst driving. So I probably won’t fall on it”
…just so you know, I used to see many interesting things at auto accidents. One was where there were two folks in a car driving down a city street at 0200 around 115 mph according to the cops, and veered off the road into a large cinder block sign for a shopping mall, dead-on and REALLY hard.
The car was nice enough to not burst into flames, so enter SNS and crew from the firehouse that was conveniently across the street.
It was immediately obvious that there were severe injuries with entrapment, so Air Care was summoned at once, which included at the time a flight surgeon and RN along with a pilot, so high-level field care was quickly at hand.
The woman driving was very obviously dead. Her knees hit the undeside of the dashboard with such force that it rammed her femurs (thigh bones) out the back of her ass…but very little bleeding. This was because she hid the steering wheel (pre-airbag) so hard it immediately stopped her heart. Dead.
…the guy in the passenger seat was more promising, he had a pulse and everything, but he was unresponsive and slumped over the center console. His unresponsiveness proved to be because of the knobless gear shift lever (manual transmission) that was rammed throgh his eye socket into his brain.
The flight surgeon worked with him for a bit, but declared him dead on-scene.
…the point here, Lazlo, is that he came forward SO quick on impact that he was unable to avoid pitching suddenly forward, redirect his fall, and probably never even KNEW he was pitching forwards. Hence, a pointy shaft in the center console of the car, where he would NEVER expect to put his face, ended up in the back of his skull.
…now translate that to your straight, metal straw protruding so innocently from your center console cup holder, as the passed-out heroin addict comes across the highway median at high speeds to head-on with you…
Does that mean that I need to be more careful with my Yeti water bottle which I use while I’m driving with it’s hard plastic straw? You’ll put your eye out or worse if you’re not careful.
This story is just a straw man…you gotta keep an eye on those straws man…
Liberalism kills.
Super,
I agree, If I have a high speed impact with a cinder block structure I will probably die and the causes can be many. But I have not had a high speed impact with a cinder block structure, yet. And if I smack something so hard my femurs are driven out my ass, well my number was up anyway.
On the other hand, I have had to defend myself twice while sitting in my car. Once in PHX and once in LA.
In PHX I jammed my tactical pen in the bastards eye. Took a bit to get it out of where I kept it (in a bag for office stuff in the passenger seat). My pistol was the holster behind the seat belt so I couldn’t draw it, or I would have made it onto the evening news.
First time in LA I had no weapon. It was nip and tuck until I could get out of the car and defend myself properly
I will take my chances.
Hey, let us go back to these.
http://www.aardvarkstraws.com
Then again the “Progs” won’t be able to use them, since they’ll chew on them causing them to collapse, with the result of them not being able to slurp their drink, which will result in them declaring them racist.
Well, that’s one less lesbian on this earth. Keep sipping on those metal straws, what else can happen?
I like the name Aardvark straws. Aardvark’s are the first animal listed in the dictionary so that makes aardvarks # 1 in my book.
Lazlo The Elder JULY 10, 2019 AT 9:48 AM
“…I will take my chances.”
…I salute you as a free person who has a keen mind they can make up for themselves, Lazlo. I do not advise, I only inform.
…But like I tell my wife, YOU don’t have to be the dumb one. That kid on the other side of the highway checking his texts at 70 MPH will do you just as nicely as any wall if he crosses the double yellow into you.
And as for making choices, children don’t. It is not possible to make a 5 year old cognizant of the risks. Probably better if those who do NOT have the title “The Elder” are NOT given them, just sayin’…
sippy cups
Muslims will start using them to stab infidels.
Lazlo The Elder JULY 10, 2019 AT 9:48 AM
” My pistol was the holster behind the seat belt so I couldn’t draw it, or I would have made it onto the evening news.”
…that’s why I carry mine on the LEFT hip and draw cross-body when driving. Fighting inside a car is gonna suck no matter what, but I personally have found no other way to body carry that gives me even a decent chance to pull it from a sitting position, and I am NOT a fan of OFF body carry in most circumstances for a wide variety of reasons…
geoff the aardvark JULY 10, 2019 AT 9:26 AM
“Does that mean that I need to be more careful with my Yeti water bottle which I use while I’m driving with it’s hard plastic straw? You’ll put your eye out or worse if you’re not careful.”
…in the case of a Yeti, you probably need to worry more about THIS…
https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/home/cleaning/a26015187/yeti-tumbler-mold/
I’m still amazed that these metal straws (or for that matter the bamboo ones) are all the rage. Paper straws are biodegradable, easy to make and sturdy enough for the thickest milkshake. If you have a shake that a well made paper straw can’t handle then you’ve actually got a sundae you moron and need to use a spoon. Ban the metal ones and give a boost to forest product industry, logging and ongoing manufacturing.
Time to recall these life threatening daggers. Children under 21 must not be allowed to use them. Must have a permit to own one. You’d think our pals on the left would be jumping all over this danger to life and limb. Lets call our congressman/woman/other and tell them to start passing laws. Get the law suits started, these manufacturers are killing people.
Her gravestone epitath:
“The last straw – it literally killed her”
Every one of these green fools should be required to carry a stainless steel straw at all times. People that are to stupid to live should be given every possible opportunity to die for their idiotic beliefs.
I just recieved the latest issue of the National Geographic. It came in a nice plastic wrapper that had a headline informing me that: NINE BILLION TONS OF PLASTIC WASTE END UP IN THE OCEAN EVERY YEAR.
Roughly breaking that number down, I have discovered that every man, woman and child on the entire planet must be tossing the equivalent of two cases of plastic straws into the qcean six days a week for the whole year.
what ever happened to the nice wax coated paper straws that we used to give with malted milks of the 50s?
Sure, they might sometimes collapse when sucking too hard on a lump of less mixed ice cream, but just use another straw. Did the save the trees crowd put the cabosh on them?