You Have Ruined Thanksgiving! [In 4 Words]

127 Comments on You Have Ruined Thanksgiving! [In 4 Words]

1. Yes, it IS tofurkey!

   Asparagus pie for dessert

2. Hillary, do come in!

3. Wanna talk about Jesus?

4. I don’t eat Turkey or Aunt Mable’s Ham loaf.

5. Dad’s a woman now.

6. Hillary’s naked from eggnog.

7. You smell like ass.

8. Messed that up.

9. The toilet is plugged.

10. My tuberculosis is contagious.

11. Roy Moore groped me!

12. the turkey’s been raped

13. Trump is the best.

14. Obama is the Poopsnose.

15. Who’s up for Charades?!

16. And the classic.

    I Hate you Mom.

17. You invited your mother?

18. pay your own tuition

19. Will you say grace?

20. Is this gluten free?

21. Mom? Dad? I’m gay.

22. Colin Kaepernick’s your daddy…..

23. Get your own apartment

24. I voted for —-.

25. What, no soy milk?

26. dog’s got diarrhea again

27. I made the pie………..

28. …….I got Hep C…..

29. Can we leave now?

30. Obama Fucked the Turkey

31. You don’t have wine?

32. You learned to cook?

33. Grandma’s just sleeping…

34. who hid my OxyContin?

35. Turkey Shrinks Your Penis

36. I’m joining ISIS

37. … oops, only 3 words …. sorry

38. Muslim’s Raised the Turkey !

39. Why’s the turkey green?

    Sourpuss actually does have a brother?

40. Pumpkin Pie is People !

41. …oops left the innards in the Turkey, paper and all, again…

42. I Fucked the Pies !

43. …let’s talk about right-wing websites…

44. The power is out.

    The turkey’s half cooked.

    The valley is flooding!

    The road is closed.

    Dad has swine flu.

45. You voted for TRUMP??!?

    You voted for HILLARY??!?

46. The NFL is on.

47. I Invited the Muslim’s

48. oh goody! snowed in!

49. I am always right…

    As usual, your wrong…

50. The cops are outside.

51. I wasted your inheritance.

52. I don’t eat meat.

53. Meet Jamal, I’m pregnant!

54. That’s my colostomy bag

55. Meet Achmed, I’m pregnant!

56. Make America Great Again

    This will RUIN Thanksgiving, Assuming that you’re dining with twatwaffle douchebags. .

57. We’re out of beer.

58. Roy Moore rules, huh?

    I only eat Tofurkey.

    Mom liked me better.

    Mom… Dad… I’m straight.

59. Hillary really did win?!

60. Pass the whiskey, douchenozzle!!!

61. Bernie really sucks ass.

62. We are getting divorced.

    Turkey was kids pet.

63. You are all adopted.

64. Cut finger making cransauce.

65. look out! Grandma’s pukin’!

66. Grandpa shit the couch

67. Trump pardoned Mitch McConnell.

68. “Thanksgiving is THIS week?!”

69. It’s lizard, not gizzard.

70. Who’s paying for this?

71. Al Franken molested me

72. Is that a booger?

73. Anyone seen my _________?

74. Oh that’s Achmed’s goat.

75. We’re eating Hillary’s pussy.

76. The collection agency called

77. “We’re eating Hillary’s pussy.”

    Sea food huh? Wow.

78. YOU VOTE 4 TRUMP?

79. “Anyone seen my _________?”

    Vibrator.

80. Turn it to CNN

81. Let’s take a knee.

82. Freeze! You’re under arrest!

83. Sorry about your car.

84. I see dead people.

85. I blew your husband.

86. Just returned from Madagascar.

87. Dentures fell in gravy.

    Thats not the gravy!

88. I am greatly embarrassed.

89. How’s the Turkey Taste? “I’ve had this drip drip drip.”

90. Here’s my new sexbot.

91. You know!

    https://youtu.be/hP50WZuE0LI

92. Dang! Mama made bail.

93. My tarantula is missing.

94. This mayonnaise tastes funny.

95. We’re out of beer.

96. Bradley and Bowe are here!

97. Meet my fiance’ Mohammad.

98. You look like Chelsea.

    I converted to Islam.

    Where is the vegan entree?

    Is the plague contagious?

99. Mohammad says:
    Fuck Infidels, Allah Aukbar !

100. You know I’m vegetarian.

101. Hope you like Tofurkey

102. The turkey just moved!

103. I didn’t come here to listen to this shit!

     The potatoes are lumpy and the gravy tastes like rubber glue. Is there a McDonalds close by?

     So, the DNA results are in, we’re all related to the Obamas, no wonder Aunt Jane looks like The Mooch, and cousin Ned looks like Obama The Deliverance dude.

104. I am of many words just as they are spoken. 🤣

105. Allahu akbar you infidels

106. What are WE drinking?

107. Happy Black Friday Eve!

108. Can anybody make gravy?
     Why is this fuzzy?
     I’m a vegan now.

109. I’m voting for Moore.

110. I “stuffed” the turkey.

111. Oops..thought you said turkey vulture.

112. Flaming bag of dogsticks

113. I miss my ex.

114. Hooker gave me clap.

115. the turkey is roadkill

116. Lois Lerner deserves sympathy

117. Michelle Obama’s bringing dessert

118. We need to talk

119. (gasping for breath…)

     WHERE’S YOUR PLUNGER?!

     I actually was asked this, moments before it started raining dirty toilet water from the recessed lighting cans in my kitchen.

120. I shit myself.

     oooo …….. that’s five wurds …………

121. Your ex is here.

122. Antifa isn’t a word.

123. That’s not brown gravy.

124. Where’s Dad & Grandma?

125. Last year’s left overs!

126. oh that’s nasty! lol

127. Surprise vegan Thanksgiving meal!