I’m Not Your Mom
I Invited Harvey Weinstein
She’s Out On Parole
OK, Yeah. I Farted
h/t Snowball the Sourpuss’ Brother.
127 Comments on You Have Ruined Thanksgiving! [In 4 Words]
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Yes, it IS tofurkey!
Asparagus pie for dessert
Hillary, do come in!
Wanna talk about Jesus?
I don’t eat Turkey or Aunt Mable’s Ham loaf.
Dad’s a woman now.
Hillary’s naked from eggnog.
You smell like ass.
Messed that up.
The toilet is plugged.
My tuberculosis is contagious.
Roy Moore groped me!
the turkey’s been raped
Trump is the best.
Obama is the Poopsnose.
Who’s up for Charades?!
And the classic.
I Hate you Mom.
You invited your mother?
pay your own tuition
Will you say grace?
Is this gluten free?
Mom? Dad? I’m gay.
Colin Kaepernick’s your daddy…..
Get your own apartment
I voted for —-.
What, no soy milk?
dog’s got diarrhea again
I made the pie………..
…….I got Hep C…..
Can we leave now?
Obama Fucked the Turkey
You don’t have wine?
You learned to cook?
Grandma’s just sleeping…
who hid my OxyContin?
Turkey Shrinks Your Penis
I’m joining ISIS
… oops, only 3 words …. sorry
Muslim’s Raised the Turkey !
Why’s the turkey green?
Sourpuss actually does have a brother?
Pumpkin Pie is People !
…oops left the innards in the Turkey, paper and all, again…
I Fucked the Pies !
…let’s talk about right-wing websites…
The power is out.
The turkey’s half cooked.
The valley is flooding!
The road is closed.
Dad has swine flu.
You voted for TRUMP??!?
You voted for HILLARY??!?
The NFL is on.
I Invited the Muslim’s
oh goody! snowed in!
I am always right…
As usual, your wrong…
The cops are outside.
I wasted your inheritance.
I don’t eat meat.
Meet Jamal, I’m pregnant!
That’s my colostomy bag
Meet Achmed, I’m pregnant!
Make America Great Again
This will RUIN Thanksgiving, Assuming that you’re dining with twatwaffle douchebags. .
We’re out of beer.
Roy Moore rules, huh?
I only eat Tofurkey.
Mom liked me better.
Mom… Dad… I’m straight.
Hillary really did win?!
Pass the whiskey, douchenozzle!!!
Bernie really sucks ass.
We are getting divorced.
Turkey was kids pet.
You are all adopted.
Cut finger making cransauce.
look out! Grandma’s pukin’!
Grandpa shit the couch
Trump pardoned Mitch McConnell.
“Thanksgiving is THIS week?!”
It’s lizard, not gizzard.
Who’s paying for this?
Al Franken molested me
Is that a booger?
Anyone seen my _________?
Oh that’s Achmed’s goat.
We’re eating Hillary’s pussy.
The collection agency called
“We’re eating Hillary’s pussy.”
Sea food huh? Wow.
YOU VOTE 4 TRUMP?
“Anyone seen my _________?”
Vibrator.
Turn it to CNN
Let’s take a knee.
Freeze! You’re under arrest!
Sorry about your car.
I see dead people.
I blew your husband.
Just returned from Madagascar.
Dentures fell in gravy.
Thats not the gravy!
I am greatly embarrassed.
How’s the Turkey Taste? “I’ve had this drip drip drip.”
Here’s my new sexbot.
You know!
https://youtu.be/hP50WZuE0LI
Dang! Mama made bail.
My tarantula is missing.
This mayonnaise tastes funny.
We’re out of beer.
Bradley and Bowe are here!
Meet my fiance’ Mohammad.
You look like Chelsea.
I converted to Islam.
Where is the vegan entree?
Is the plague contagious?
Mohammad says:
Fuck Infidels, Allah Aukbar !
You know I’m vegetarian.
Hope you like Tofurkey
The turkey just moved!
I didn’t come here to listen to this shit!
The potatoes are lumpy and the gravy tastes like rubber glue. Is there a McDonalds close by?
So, the DNA results are in, we’re all related to the Obamas, no wonder Aunt Jane looks like The Mooch, and cousin Ned looks like Obama The Deliverance dude.
I am of many words just as they are spoken. 🤣
Allahu akbar you infidels
What are WE drinking?
Happy Black Friday Eve!
Can anybody make gravy?
Why is this fuzzy?
I’m a vegan now.
I’m voting for Moore.
I “stuffed” the turkey.
Oops..thought you said turkey vulture.
Flaming bag of dogsticks
I miss my ex.
Hooker gave me clap.
the turkey is roadkill
Lois Lerner deserves sympathy
Michelle Obama’s bringing dessert
We need to talk
(gasping for breath…)
WHERE’S YOUR PLUNGER?!
I actually was asked this, moments before it started raining dirty toilet water from the recessed lighting cans in my kitchen.
I shit myself.
oooo …….. that’s five wurds …………
Your ex is here.
Antifa isn’t a word.
That’s not brown gravy.
Where’s Dad & Grandma?
Last year’s left overs!
oh that’s nasty! lol
Surprise vegan Thanksgiving meal!