Zuckerberg Buys Alcatraz Island to House Violators of New Facebook Hate Speech Policy

*satire.

IMAO: MENLO PARK (AP) – As part of Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg’s plan to have the most aggressive anti-hate speech policy on social media, the billionaire entrepreneur purchased the entire island of Alcatraz, including its prison facilities, with the intention of housing policy violators there.

Zuckerberg explained his decision to finally put some much needed “teeth” into a policy that is often just words and air on other platforms.

“Facebook opposes hate speech,” said Zuckerberg. “Also hate agents, hate statements, hate signals, hate ideologies, hate entities, hate symbols, hate slogans, hate paraphernalia, and neutral statements about the aforementioned hate items. However, until now, all we’ve been able to do is deplatform violators. But then they just go to Gab and go right on hate-speeching, because the stupid government won’t let us control everyone’s speech even though it’d be best for everyone.”

“Then I thought, well, they sure couldn’t do what they wanted if they were in prison. Epiphany! I’ll just buy a prison and put all the people I don’t like in it.”

But where to find a prison? more here

SNIP: It’s sad that I have to write *Satire on a post, but you know how the Left carries on nowadays…

19 Comments on Zuckerberg Buys Alcatraz Island to House Violators of New Facebook Hate Speech Policy

  1. One of the first inmates was an aging hippie, who protested, “This sucks! All I posted was a picture of me giving somebody the Bird, man.”.

    7
  2. Don’t worry fur I have a boat some files a blow torch and C4 I’ll bust you out just lemme know you cell block and #

    3
  3. To be good satire, it has to have the ring of truth.
    This is the bells of Notre Dame ringing, whoops !
    Do they still ring?
    Bernie the hunchback will be disappointed if not.

    2

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