After it was revealed that Bernie Sanders only gave a very small percentage of his considerable wealth to charity upon release of his tax returns, socialist Bernie Sanders vowed to do better, promising to be more generous with your money in the future.
“I know I haven’t given as much to charity as I could have, but I’m going to try to be a lot more generous with your money going forward,” he said in a solemn press conference. “I only gave like 1-2% of my money away. And that’s just not right. After much r reflection and introspection, I’ve decided I’m OK with giving as much as 70, 80, or even 90% of your income away.”
The crowd cheered and wept openly at this extremely generous gesture.
“I just love how generous the old coot is,” a woman with a Bernie face tattoo said in an interview with reporters.
Funny and true.
But there’s only, what?, $2-3 Trillion in circulation? (Used to be about $0.5 Trillion – thanks Obama.)
Going to have crank-up the printing presses and install revolving doors on the IRS and people’s bank accounts.
What a f*** wad
The spittle face only Photoshop ‘splains it all.
Gold!
Babylon Bee’s first sentence, which is hilarious, is also factually true, making Bernie Sanders officially beyond satire now. One 2020 democrat contender down, 18 to go, lol. This is going to be fun.
Where’s the satire? I must have missed it.
It must be because of my dry sense of humor.
Burn the witch!