Cat hurts
Cat scars
Cat wounds and marks
Any one not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Cats are like a cloud, They hold a lot of rain
Cat hurts
Ooh cat hurts
I’m young
I know
But even so
I know a thing or two, I learned from Meew
I really learned a lot, really learned a lot
Cat is like a flame, it burns you when it’s hot
Cat hurts
Ooh cat hurts
Some fools think
Of happiness, blissfulness, togetherness
Some fools fool themselves, I guess
They’re not foolin’ me
I know it isn’t true I…
I know it isn’t true
I know it isn’t true
Cat is just a lie made to make you blue
Cat hurts
Ooh cat hurts
Ooh, cat hurts, ooh
Source: LyricFind
with apologies…….
3
Can’t use “integrated” have to use “de-segregated.”
(PC of the 60s)
izlamo delenda est …
2
Monkey
MAY 20, 2020 AT 7:59 AM
(To the tune of “Love Hurts” by Nazareth, n’est-ce pas?)
…just be sure to never die alone with your cats, or your next of kin may not want to adopt that fluffy little love ball you leave behind, even though they might literally have a part of you to hang on to if they DO…
“Will Your Cat Eat Your Corpse?
…
…For ethical reasons, information about this kind of thing tends to come from unintentional observations like the Colorado Mesa University one, rather than experiments in which scientists unleash housecats on the recently deceased. (Can you imagine that research proposal?) But the study does provide some interesting insight into cat behavior. “As a cat behaviorist, I think what’s really interesting about this study in particular is that we primarily think of cats as predators—as animals who hunt, kill, and then eat what they’ve killed,” Delgado says. “And in this case, it really highlights the fact that they are also scavengers.”” https://www.wired.com/story/will-your-cat-eat-your-corpse/
…so, if your breathing your last in your otherwise empty house and Mr. Nibbles starts licking your diaphoretic face, you can be comforted that there’s a good chance that some of YOU will be ending the day buried in the soon-to-be-overflowing litter box…
…wonder if the funeral director will include that in you box? Maybe you should put something in your Will under “How I Want To Be Buried”…
3
I just wish my cat was a better mouser, the other night he just sat there waiting for the mouse to come out and when it did the mouse just ran by my cat and he didn’t bother to catch the little bastard. My daughter thinks that he’s too domesticated, he catches mice when he wants to, other times he just doesn’t bother. I am like Jinx the cat, I hate meeces to pieces. My cat needs to get rid of Pixie and Dixie and their other mouse buddies.
8
…epitath for above…
(on the tombstone)
Here lies the last of Betty Lynn,
Found with her cats, deceased.
In life, she was the cat’s good friend,
In death, their Fancy Feast.
5
geoff the aardvark MAY 20, 2020 AT 8:56 AM
“I just wish my cat was a better mouser, the other night he just sat there waiting for the mouse to come out and when it did the mouse just ran by my cat and he didn’t bother to catch the little bastard. My daughter thinks that he’s too domesticated, he catches mice when he wants to, other times he just doesn’t bother. I am like Jinx the cat, I hate meeces to pieces. My cat needs to get rid of Pixie and Dixie and their other mouse buddies.”
…most of the cats I grew up with were very good at this, and I had one that could break into ANY bird cage and extract ALL the occupants, but the one I remember best was the one that would absolutely MURDER a potato and leave it in front of the door to my room, for some reason…if Mom left the potato bin open, it would look like a Mr. Potato Head serial killer was on the loose because there would be shredded spud mounded in the hallway like a pile of skulls as a despot’s trophy…I’m not sure WHAT a potato ever did to that cat, but she got vengance EVERY chance she got, you couldn’t even plant half-buried ones in the yard, she’d get those TOO, stems and all…
…she was an older cat then and potatoes didn’t run very fact, so that’s probably why she left the mousing to her son, who was a HUGE black tomcat who was afraid of nothing but my rooster and eventually died while fighting a snake with fangs faster than he was, but that’s a different story for another day…
I know a lot of people who could have said this. Most of them work in DC (although a few live in Governors’ mansions).
I feel the same.
Says every cat, ever.,,,cats will cut ya.
(Posted as satire, no real cats were harmed in the production of this satire) ladies of IOTW do not slay me, that would be catty)
Good one.
Your cat want’s you dead….
https://theoatmeal.com/misc/frame/cat_kill
Cat hurts
Cat scars
Cat wounds and marks
Any one not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Cats are like a cloud, They hold a lot of rain
Cat hurts
Ooh cat hurts
I’m young
I know
But even so
I know a thing or two, I learned from Meew
I really learned a lot, really learned a lot
Cat is like a flame, it burns you when it’s hot
Cat hurts
Ooh cat hurts
Some fools think
Of happiness, blissfulness, togetherness
Some fools fool themselves, I guess
They’re not foolin’ me
I know it isn’t true I…
I know it isn’t true
I know it isn’t true
Cat is just a lie made to make you blue
Cat hurts
Ooh cat hurts
Ooh, cat hurts, ooh
Source: LyricFind
with apologies…….
Can’t use “integrated” have to use “de-segregated.”
(PC of the 60s)
izlamo delenda est …
Monkey
MAY 20, 2020 AT 7:59 AM
(To the tune of “Love Hurts” by Nazareth, n’est-ce pas?)
GLORIOUS ’70S HAIR ALERT!
https://youtu.be/soDZBW-1P04
…just be sure to never die alone with your cats, or your next of kin may not want to adopt that fluffy little love ball you leave behind, even though they might literally have a part of you to hang on to if they DO…
“Will Your Cat Eat Your Corpse?
…
…For ethical reasons, information about this kind of thing tends to come from unintentional observations like the Colorado Mesa University one, rather than experiments in which scientists unleash housecats on the recently deceased. (Can you imagine that research proposal?) But the study does provide some interesting insight into cat behavior. “As a cat behaviorist, I think what’s really interesting about this study in particular is that we primarily think of cats as predators—as animals who hunt, kill, and then eat what they’ve killed,” Delgado says. “And in this case, it really highlights the fact that they are also scavengers.””
https://www.wired.com/story/will-your-cat-eat-your-corpse/
…so, if your breathing your last in your otherwise empty house and Mr. Nibbles starts licking your diaphoretic face, you can be comforted that there’s a good chance that some of YOU will be ending the day buried in the soon-to-be-overflowing litter box…
…wonder if the funeral director will include that in you box? Maybe you should put something in your Will under “How I Want To Be Buried”…
I just wish my cat was a better mouser, the other night he just sat there waiting for the mouse to come out and when it did the mouse just ran by my cat and he didn’t bother to catch the little bastard. My daughter thinks that he’s too domesticated, he catches mice when he wants to, other times he just doesn’t bother. I am like Jinx the cat, I hate meeces to pieces. My cat needs to get rid of Pixie and Dixie and their other mouse buddies.
…epitath for above…
(on the tombstone)
Here lies the last of Betty Lynn,
Found with her cats, deceased.
In life, she was the cat’s good friend,
In death, their Fancy Feast.
geoff the aardvark MAY 20, 2020 AT 8:56 AM
“I just wish my cat was a better mouser, the other night he just sat there waiting for the mouse to come out and when it did the mouse just ran by my cat and he didn’t bother to catch the little bastard. My daughter thinks that he’s too domesticated, he catches mice when he wants to, other times he just doesn’t bother. I am like Jinx the cat, I hate meeces to pieces. My cat needs to get rid of Pixie and Dixie and their other mouse buddies.”
…most of the cats I grew up with were very good at this, and I had one that could break into ANY bird cage and extract ALL the occupants, but the one I remember best was the one that would absolutely MURDER a potato and leave it in front of the door to my room, for some reason…if Mom left the potato bin open, it would look like a Mr. Potato Head serial killer was on the loose because there would be shredded spud mounded in the hallway like a pile of skulls as a despot’s trophy…I’m not sure WHAT a potato ever did to that cat, but she got vengance EVERY chance she got, you couldn’t even plant half-buried ones in the yard, she’d get those TOO, stems and all…
…she was an older cat then and potatoes didn’t run very fact, so that’s probably why she left the mousing to her son, who was a HUGE black tomcat who was afraid of nothing but my rooster and eventually died while fighting a snake with fangs faster than he was, but that’s a different story for another day…