Your equipment is crazy. I’m going to eat your balls.
7
“Faster than an EV, Manufactured by God”
25
Pudgie bastard needs to spend some time on a stairmaster.
4
Officer, going 70 mph is no biggie for me. I can’t do 55
15
“What about the other cheetahs? Why’d you pick ME? Cause I’m part black?”
28
your rear axle is one inch higher than your front axle – $500 fine
9
Catch me if you can…..
6
He felt the need. The need for speed.
7
I see here your paw print doesn’t match your ID.
8
This is your third infraction today. You’ve exceeded your point limit.
5
Smog legal hot rod
6
“That hat is simply fabulous! I gotta try to keep it out of the blood when I rip his throat out.”
10
“One foot on the brake and one on the gas, hey
Well, there’s too much traffic, I can’t pass, no
So I tried my best illegal move
A big black and white come and crushed my groove again
“
8
I can’t sign that. I don’t have thumbs you idiot.
14
Do you know why I stopped you?
12
^^^^LOL
“Do you know why I stopped you?” No, I was hoping you knew.
I’ve actually used that. Didn’t go over well.
13
@Brad — Heh! Here’s another one that won’t go over well…
“Do you know why I stopped you?”
“Yes. Tough luck for you but I’m straight.”
13
My insurance slip is up my @$$.
Go have a look…
7
Did you say something about Cheetos? Officer I am not hispanic!
7
When the cops ask me if I know why they pulled me over I just say I’d rather not incriminate myself. Sometimes they even laugh.
6
Whoever spotted me is lion.
17
“…your tail light is out.”
7
I’m from Venezuela, have military training, and I am exercising my 2nd amendment rights.
3
I would have pulled the impala over but he outran us both.
13
“Says here that Tarzan is the owner of this car. Who’s Tarzan?”
3
“I wasn’t tailgating! – I was getting dinner!”
9
Do you know why I pulled you over?
Because I’m a pig driving a convertible?
I’d love to use that one but the commercial hasn’t been on the air in years so I don’t think Officer O’Mally would find it funny.
Brad, you and others made me laugh out loud while sitting on the throne at 5:44 am.
You guys are GOOD.
4
Didn’t your momma tell you that “Cheetahs never prosper”?
7
Want me to chase him down partner?
Good kitty.
6
“But Officer, my top speed is only 70!”
3
“Oh, you heard Biden was going to be visiting your pre-pubescent daughter’s exhibit at the zoo and you were rushing to get there to make sure she doesn’t get gropped? O.k. I’ll let you off with a warning. Now get going!”
3
Africans.
3
I’m a street walking cheetah with a heart full of napalm
3
Officer: “Do you know why I stopped you?”
Cheetah: “Cuz I let you”
4
Cheetahs Never Win
2
If you give me a break this time officer, I’ll let you pet my pussy.
2
Please show your license and proof of insurance.
2
“But I had my cruise control set at the speed limit!”
2
“I was going with the flow of traffic!”
2
“As an African-American, where the hell are my reparations?”
Speeding, dah. Those are amazing critters.
I can outrun your stupid police cruiser!
Your equipment is crazy. I’m going to eat your balls.
“Faster than an EV, Manufactured by God”
Pudgie bastard needs to spend some time on a stairmaster.
Officer, going 70 mph is no biggie for me. I can’t do 55
“What about the other cheetahs? Why’d you pick ME? Cause I’m part black?”
your rear axle is one inch higher than your front axle – $500 fine
Catch me if you can…..
He felt the need. The need for speed.
I see here your paw print doesn’t match your ID.
This is your third infraction today. You’ve exceeded your point limit.
Smog legal hot rod
“That hat is simply fabulous! I gotta try to keep it out of the blood when I rip his throat out.”
“One foot on the brake and one on the gas, hey
Well, there’s too much traffic, I can’t pass, no
So I tried my best illegal move
A big black and white come and crushed my groove again
“
I can’t sign that. I don’t have thumbs you idiot.
Do you know why I stopped you?
^^^^LOL
“Do you know why I stopped you?” No, I was hoping you knew.
I’ve actually used that. Didn’t go over well.
@Brad — Heh! Here’s another one that won’t go over well…
“Do you know why I stopped you?”
“Yes. Tough luck for you but I’m straight.”
My insurance slip is up my @$$.
Go have a look…
Did you say something about Cheetos? Officer I am not hispanic!
When the cops ask me if I know why they pulled me over I just say I’d rather not incriminate myself. Sometimes they even laugh.
Whoever spotted me is lion.
“…your tail light is out.”
I’m from Venezuela, have military training, and I am exercising my 2nd amendment rights.
I would have pulled the impala over but he outran us both.
“Says here that Tarzan is the owner of this car. Who’s Tarzan?”
“I wasn’t tailgating! – I was getting dinner!”
Do you know why I pulled you over?
Because I’m a pig driving a convertible?
I’d love to use that one but the commercial hasn’t been on the air in years so I don’t think Officer O’Mally would find it funny.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBoxU0o6INA
“I clocked you doing sixty in a forty-five zone…”
Brad, you and others made me laugh out loud while sitting on the throne at 5:44 am.
You guys are GOOD.
Didn’t your momma tell you that “Cheetahs never prosper”?
Want me to chase him down partner?
Good kitty.
“But Officer, my top speed is only 70!”
“Oh, you heard Biden was going to be visiting your pre-pubescent daughter’s exhibit at the zoo and you were rushing to get there to make sure she doesn’t get gropped? O.k. I’ll let you off with a warning. Now get going!”
Africans.
I’m a street walking cheetah with a heart full of napalm
Officer: “Do you know why I stopped you?”
Cheetah: “Cuz I let you”
Cheetahs Never Win
If you give me a break this time officer, I’ll let you pet my pussy.
Please show your license and proof of insurance.
“But I had my cruise control set at the speed limit!”
“I was going with the flow of traffic!”
“As an African-American, where the hell are my reparations?”