Yep. They’re pretty bad. Click here
35 Comments on Bad Joke Friday!
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Yep. They’re pretty bad. Click here
Comments are closed.
iOTWreport.com ©2024 ----- iOTWreport is not responsible for the content of comments. All opinions in comments are solely the commenter's.
What do crazy computer geeks do?
They manage Nutworks.
What do church janitors do?
They clean the churchgoer’s pews.
Who is Buttigeig’s favorite Novelist?
Dickens.
What do people in Finland say when they have completed a task?
I’m Danished.
How awesome is Brad?
How Toulouse Lautrec got his name.
He started his career as a mechanic in a factory. He was a failure as a mechanic because he was frail and had little strength. He could not tighten the bolts on the various machines in the factory because he was so weak.
His boss would scold him and yell: “It’s too loose, Lautrec.” After a few weeks his coworkers began calling him “Toulouse”. The boss fired poor Lautrec two months after he started. Word got around about the deformed little man and how he was so weak he could not properly tighten bolts.
And the name “Toulouse” stuck with him until he died.
What is Pete Buttigieg’s favorite beverage? Dickens Cider.
Joey Biden got 81 million votes!
@Not That Anonymous
That’s not a joke. It’s a crime against humanity.
Toulouse Lautrec walks into tattoo pallor to get his arm inked.
“What you you like it to say?” asks the owner.
“Why ‘Born Toulose’ of course.” Lautrec answers.
I told my daughter I saw a Moose on the way to work this morning. She said “How do you know he has a job!”
What is Pete Buttigieg’s favorite poet?
Dickenson
What was Navy Captain Buttigieg’s favorite part of the ship?
He had two: the head and the lowest hold.
Who was Buttigieg’s best friend when he was in the navy?
Seaman 3rd Class Ben Dover
When off duty, what was Buttigieg’s favorite pastime?
Diving for sea cucumbers.
What would an appropriate tattoo for Joe Biden?
Born To Lie
what’s black and white and read all over?
a newspaper
As long as this is still open I’ll throw this one in as there’s the reversal of expected behavior.
Actually, you can blame SNS as he suggested putting it here.
The other night I was invited out for a night with the “girls.” I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT !)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him “MIDNIGHT”… he didn’t seem pissed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said “We need a new cuckoo clock.” When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said “oh shit” Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.
What would an appropriate tattoo for Joe Biden?
“I’m Wetodded”
^^^^ That’s sofa king we todd it.
What was Buttigieg’s favorite duty while on board a ship?
Inspecting seacocks.
Harry, when did joey start imitating Elmer Fudd.
I dunno geoff, but Elmer Fudd and his Wabbit could certainly do a better job than Jackass Joe and his Ho!!
I’ll just leave this here… Enjoy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHP49lJEkiM
Good one, Harry – Thanks a lot!!
Anymouse, Had to share with you that after retirement I took up some amateur bird watching and met a more serious “Birder” whose niece asked him if they could go to have lunch at “Hooters” sometime? So he asked her why “Hooters”? She said “I just want to see the owls”
Must’ve been those gorgeous 2 breasted hooters.
@Zonga
what’s black and white and [Red] all over?
An interracial communist couple.
@Zonga, @Tim Buktu —
What’s black and white and black and white and black and white and red?
A nun falling down the stairs.
I lifted it from Woodsterman…
See Diogenes blog roll.
There is a town in northern Canada called Nunavut.
The Catholic Church in Nunavut tried to get some nuns to move there. But the nuns wanted none of it.
Tim – What about Dildo, Newfoundland?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dildo,_Newfoundland_and_Labrador
What’s red and green and goes 100 mph? A frog in a blender.
@Harry
Yeah, Dildo NF&Lab. It’s gotten famous for its name, but also it’s the birthplace of the tall blond wife of Kiss guy – Gene Simmons, I think is his name.
It used to be called Dildo Run. I think the townspeople got it officially changed because they were tired of being the butt of jokes.
Their reasoning was something like this: Nobody has ever seen a running dildo. Mister Mayor, please lets drop the “Run” so people will stop making fun of us.
Re: Toulouse Lautrec
One of his later relatives went to live in Alaska. He kept two moose in his backyard as pets.
People called him “TwoMoose” Lautrec.