Looking for a wife in 1865 pic.twitter.com/5YWWag7isA
— Max Roser (@MaxCRoser) June 19, 2017
I hate the sneering article associated with this clipping-
From the Observer –
Let’s break this down. First of all, it is super offensive but also kind of amazing that the headline that the newspaper chose for this poetry was, “CHANCE FOR A SPINSTER.”
Next, let’s look at the first line of this lonely heart’s description, “I am eighteen years old, have a good set of teeth, and…” Wait, stop right there. You have a good set of teeth? SOLD.
Also, the poor lad is only 18 and already looking for a wife, because that’s what people did back then if they wanted to have sex. And you thought you had it rough.
All of which is to say: our boy’s a patriot! Now, next he outlines what kind of assets you can expect to acquire if you were to become betrothed. This includes 18 acres of fertile land, 10 of which has already been seeded (some subliminal sexual imagery coming in here).
Not only that, but his crops are fresh. According to the profile, his “buckwheat looks first-rate, and the oats and potatoes are bully.” So what he’s saying, ladies, is he knows how to plough 😉
He’s also got nine sheep, a two-year-old bull, two heifers, AND a house and a barn. I am not an expert on the economics of the very beginning of The Gilded Age, but this guys seems LOADED.
Plus, he’s a romantic. He concludes his profile with something that actually comes across as quite poignant:
“I want to get married. I want to buy bread-and-butter, hoop skirts, and waterfalls for some person of the female persuasion during life.”
Damn, that’s sweet. Why can’t I get a man who just wants to buy me hoop skirts and waterfalls? It certainly beats, “Girl, if you’re flirty I’m down to get dirty.”
To be honest, fellas, men could learn a lot from this short-and-sweet self-advertisement. Here’s what a modern-day version would sound like:
“I am 35 years old and own a nice head of hair. I own a loft in Bushwick, a flat-screen TV, and a NES classic edition console. I have a two-year-old dog and a seven-year-old cat. A few years ago, I launched a start-up that has flourished into a successful business, finally giving me the time for a serious relationship. I want someone to share life’s adventures with, someone to go with to caves in Iceland and balls in Vienna and star-gazing on the Caspian sea. That’s what life is all about for me.”
!snip!
35 and a cat. That’s what’s wrong with America.
Women, you’re supposed to be Goddesses of fertility, and you have dried up ovaries, a cat, and a nation being overrun by 3rd worlders, which you applaud.
You’re much, much dumber than the man you’re making fun of in the “dating profile.”
ht/ illustr8r
Well, that’s the way it was in 1865. He was doing okay for himself.
Another thought — This man seemed untouched by the war, lucky him. Why hadn’t he served?
Oh, concerning the accompanying remarks — a downright ignorance of history.
Why do people persist in judging the PAST by TODAY’S standards?
Well, I guess women have come a long way. They can now advertise for their true love on alt.com. ashleymadison.com, adultfriendfinder.com, gleedon.com, heatedaffairs.com…. no wait, except for 1 those are all for married women looking to cheat which is where I’d expect the girls from the Observer to hang out looking for their shades of gray.
Don’t forget the Sugar Daddies sites.
….if only years ago……
Still got all my teeth … and still believe in Andy Johnson, too!
Ole Andy … if he’da just taken my advice, he’da avoided all that mess.
oolook, it’s also called Monday morning quarterbacking…but in the most unethical manner.
I am hopelessly out of sync. I don’t even know what a “NES classic edition console” is. That 18 year old from Aroostook County absolutely had it going on. What it took to clear ten acres on your own, pre-mechanization – wow.
This might help,it’s from the US Navy
How to Succeed with Brunettes 1967 US Navy Training Film
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vVV8hRTxgE
He had a few hundred thousand widows to choose from.
No government safety net, no service economy and probably 2/3rds of the nation lived on the farm.
How much more mature an 18 year old was then compared to a 35 year old pajama boy of today living in his parents basement. Stronger physically, mentally, emotionally, and morally.
Is this guy part of trump family? Sounds like a successful starter guy!
“I am 35 years old and own a nice head of hair.”
So it’s a dude.
“finally giving me the time for a serious relationship. I want someone to share life’s adventures with, someone to go with to caves in Iceland and balls in Vienna and star-gazing on the Caspian sea. That’s what life is all about for me.”
So, it wanted to be somebody’s grammah, but sh!t happens.
And, they both… wait… that’s one ad? That Zinnia Jones is one well preserved old bag. Xe didn’t look a day over 30.
He forgot to put in there she’s needs to be able to make sammitches.