Chris Christie Tells Himself To Sit Down And Shut Up



Remember when New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie was going to bully his way to the White House with his stellar platform, “It’s time to start offending people”? Boy did that get shut down faster than you can say “George Washington Bridge”

After a humiliating sixth place “win” in Tuesday’s New Hampshire primary, Christie decided to go home to think long and hard about how to announce that he is dropping out of the race without looking like a total loser. (Spoiler: Impossible.) He still hasn’t said it with his own big mouth, but screw him, we’re sick of waiting, so let’s get right to the pissing on the grave of his campaign, yeah?

Update:” I have both won elections that I was supposed to lose and I’ve lost elections I was supposed to win and what that means is you never know what will happen. That is both the magic and the mystery of politics – you never quite know when which is going to happen, even when you think you do. And so today, I leave the race without an ounce of regret….”


5 Comments on Chris Christie Tells Himself To Sit Down And Shut Up

  1. I bid Chrispy no ill will & believe he’d be a better President than either Little Robio or George & Bab’s idiot spawn (whom both have always had a better chance than Chrispy in getting the nomination….go figure)
    I really think he hurt himself groveling to the Bamster after Hurricane Sandy … the bridge thing was a nothing-burger with extra pickles served up by the media

  2. @Anony: Christie didn’t lose any weight. With the type of surgery he had you can’t keep shoveling food down your pie hole. He doesn’t have self control which is why he would make a lousy President.

    “Chris Christie Tells Himself To Sit Down And Shut Up”

    NO!!!!! He tells himself to sit down and shovel more food into his pie hole! He went home to reassess how many doughnuts he could shove down his throat in 5 minutes with pen in hand writing his exit speech.

    His biggest problem was being seen hugging Obama, that didn’t set well with thousands of Americans.

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