Cortexting – IOTW Report

Cortexting

22 Comments on Cortexting

  1. Alexandria: “When’s the meeting?”

    Aid: “Next Saturday. And they’re bi-weekly, by the way.”

    Alexandria: “This weekend?”

    Aid: “No, the first meeting was yesterday. So next Saturday.”

    Alexandria: “Are they meeting twice a week?”

    Aid: “No, biweekly and the next meeting is next Saturday.”

    Alexandria: “This Saturday?”

    Aid: (Sigh) “No.”

    Alexandria: “So, WHEN is the meeting?”

    8
  2. Texting has escaped me in my
    decent into decrepidness …
    My ham & CB radios do not have that function.
    and yes I know ham radios have been able to send
    text,video and advanced digital data for over 20
    years now.

    5
  3. whose on first?
    Right
    What?
    no, whats on second
    Well, who’s on first?
    right?
    What?
    No, rights on SECOND.

    (Sorry, my best guess, I dont know the whole abbot and costello routine)

    4
  4. AOC- I need something witty to insert into my speech tomorrow on education. Can you help?

    FRIEND- Sure. Try this — There are 2 types of people. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data

    AOC – Okay, got that.

    AOC- Hello.

    AOC- Did your battery run down?

    AOC – Hello?

    11
  5. Transcript of my phone call with AOC:

    Cynic: “What has a small penis and hangs down”?

    AOC: “I dunno”.

    Cynic: “A bat”.

    AOC: “Uh, OK…”

    Cynic: “What has a large penis and hangs up”?

    AOC: “I dunno”.

    Cynic: {click}

    AOC: “Hello, hello, can you hear me, hello…”?

    13
  6. AOC: On my break and feel like having popcorn, but I only have crackers.

    Riley: Put them in the microwave and press ‘Popcorn’

    AOC: You are the smartest boyfriend ever. Luv u pookie.

    25
  7. AOC: Some woman named Kay Street called. She wants to talk about NGD. But not from my district. Local, I think. You ever hear of her

    : LOL

    AOC: What’s so funny Just want to help a constit

    : LOL

    AOC: don’t be a hater. Just say you don’t know her

    4
  8. AOC: Why don’t we put up permanent tents around all cow pastures?

    :: Because of the wind

    AOC: That’s why I want to put tents up

    :: No, the wind will blow them over

    AOC: I didn’t know cows farted so much

    AOC: The problem is worse than I thought

    1
  9. AOC: Why you mad?
    SS (Senior Staffer): Just got a pay cut 🙁
    AOC: Got your back. Giving all my staff a living wage 🙂 🙂 🙂
    SS: (poop emoji)
    AOC: Working on cow farts next! I’m the boss!

    3
  10. cynic

    I must be the 3rd kind. I love, busk, Merle, Hank, Bocephus…. and have all my teeth.

    BTW When I got bladed in the jaw 52 years ago doc(HM3) told me Id loose my left “eye tooth” Wrong still got it; and a pretty scar.
    BUT ALL MY TEETH ARE IN MY JAW!

    2

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