“soylent GREEN is people!”
A Swedish behavioral scientist has suggested that it may be necessary to turn to cannibalism and start eating humans in order to save the planet.
Appearing on Swedish television to talk about an event based around the “food of the future,” Magnus Söderlund said he would be holding seminars on the necessity of consuming human flesh in order to stop climate change.
Environmentalists blame the meat and farming industry for a large part of what they claim is the warming of the earth.
According to Söderlund, a potential fix would be the Soylent Green-solution of eating dead bodies instead.
He told the host of the show that one of the biggest obstacles to the proposal would be the taboo nature of corpses and the fact that many would see it as defiling the deceased.
Söderlund also acknowledged that people are “slightly conservative” when it comes to eating things they are not accustomed to, such as cadavers.
The discussion took place accompanied by a graphic of human hands on the end of forks. Lovely.
OK, stupid Swede. Tell your wife to eat me.
It might be necessary to save the world from that Swedish Scientist.
“Eatin’ ain’t cheatin'”.
— Kinky Friedman
🙂
Soylent Green New Deal…
In multiple separate studies, the rates of depression and overall insanity, suicide of Danes, Swedes, Norwegians….
Coincidence?
…really, Fur, I have to post all the cannibal jokes AGAIN?
…this is biting off more than I can chew, I’m kind of fed up with it, it will keep eating me until I do something about it, and believe me, it’s non a bellyful of laughs and does not help the digestion…
… one day, an island chieftain caught an explorer, and made his punishment for trespassing “Maiden Roulette”. With trepidation the explorer, without pants and hands tightly bound, was led through a crowd and into a clearing, where to his surprise, there were only six of the most beautiful island women he’d ever seen kneeling expectantly in a semicircle before him.
The chieftain said, “This is your fate. These are maidens so you cannot sully them, but you may walk over to the maiden of your choice, and pleasure yourself with her mouth”.
Dumbstuck but (visibly) excited at this turn of events, he started to thank the chief, but then stopped and asked, “How is this a punishment? And why did you call it, “Roulette”?
The chieftain then answered with a smile, “One of them is a cannibal”.
ICYMI…
…you only need to worry in the daylight.
That’s because one day, two cannibal tribes that ate each other ceremonially, as a form of victory celebration, fought longer than ususal, and the sun was fading rapidly when one tribe broke and ran, leaving their dead behind. The cooks parted and roasted the dead warriors, bringing the choicest cut of the fattest man, a forearm complete with wrist and hand, wrapped in banana leaves and done to a turn, with great jubilation to their chief so he could take the first bite and start the feast. By then, the cooking fire had died down, leaving only a dull reddish glow over the hungry warriors and their umber meats.
Famished by the fighting and the long delay, the chief snatched the arm and bit into it hungrily, biting down on sinew and tendons.
…this caused the hand, which was unfortunately carelessly placed, to close over the chief’s face with a SNAP, with two of the toasted fingers burrowing into his eye sockets, forever blinding him.
And that’s why cannibals won’t eat after dark.
Because they can’t see the hand in front of their face.
Cannibal 1: “Hey, have you seen Ubutu today? I’ve been looking all OVER for that guy, and can’t find him ANYWHERE!
Cannibal 2: “Let me check.” (looks next to stewpot, recognizes clothing) “Yeah, he was here, but he’s busy right now. Give me about an hour, and I’ll have him back out for you…”
Professor Long Pig
Now we know why Europeans are welcoming in immigrants who are a drain on their societies.
You gonna eat that?
A foolish solution to a non-existent problem.
Variations in the Earth’s orbit cannot be “solved” by some imbecile’s “Hey! Look at me!” moment.
I trust he knows more about “Swedish Behavior” than he does about celestial Physics.
izlamo delenda est …
Is there some sort of virus or mold turning leftists into loons?
So far, I must be immune.
They’re pod people.
always putting the cart before the horse!
Cannibalism is what happens after society collapses due to natural disasters not before.
Anonymous
SEPTEMBER 9, 2019 AT 7:12 AM
“They’re pod people.”
…NOW you’ve done it…
https://youtu.be/GEStsLJZhzo
Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal” was meant to be satire not public policy by the most highly educated, blondest of the blonde.
Putting people in cauldrons to stew for public consumption is stomping all over the line of cultural appropriation.
And I, for one, am offended, sir. Do note my umbrage and general dissatisfaction.
As I turn my nose up to this suggestion, observe that it is not pierced with a bone.
Chop-a-fellA restaurants?
Great Careers of the Past 50 Years:
– Computer Programmer
– Network Engineer
– Astronaut
– Trauma Surgeon
– Airline Pilot
– Civil Engineer
– Doctor/Nurse
Great New Careers in the Coming Progressive Utopia
– Gang Leader/Warlord
– Gulag Warden
– Barbarian Horde Member
– Witch Doctor
– Food (not growing it; being it)
The original B&W Invasion Of The Body Snatchers is far better than the Donald Sutherland version.
The reason they are promoting this is because they know no one
will eat liberals, they’re all spoiled. 😂
geoff the aardvark SEPTEMBER 9, 2019 AT 9:55 AM
“The original B&W Invasion Of The Body Snatchers is far better than the Donald Sutherland version.”
…you’re right, but “The Scream” is iconic and well-known to EVERYONE without further explanation, so I just go with it for all my pod-people referencing needs…
…although there are exceptions about what we now call “reboots”. I like John Carpenter’s “The Thing” WAY more than the original, but that’s just me, opinions do vary…but it has one of the best movie lines EVER:
https://youtu.be/NtgFKdWcKXY?t=2
…so, everything has room for improvement, and everything has a good moment, and that one works for this reference, and yes, I’m WAY off to one side now and I apologize, but it’s Monday and my mind is wandering, so I’m taking you along for the trip…
I’m not very hungry, just bring me a small order of french fried fingers and toes with barbecue sauce on the side!
‘I listen to music when I que’
Throw another Khashoggi on the barbie