Dylan “Benedict Arnold” Matthew

This dweeb is Dylan Matthews, and he writes for Vox. He started the year off with a short piece declaring that the Senate is undemocratic and should be abolished, which put him into the early running for the “Dumbest Post of the Year.”

This being the 4th of July, Mr. Matthews decided to try to top his own stupidity by trying to argue that things would have been better had we remained in the British Empire.


His reasoning goes like this

Slavery would have ended sooner 

Independence was bad for Native Americans 

Their system of government is better


Matthews tells us in the article that he’s flying to The United Kingdom today. I think he should stay there. His e-mail is given in the Vox article.

Dear Mr. Matthews,

I hope you have a pleasant flight to Britain. I just read you’re article in Vox this morning on how independence was a bad idea and I have come to the conclusion that you should just stay in the land of warm beer, boiled food and bad teeth.


Dr. Tar




38 Comments on Dylan “Benedict Arnold” Matthew

  1. Dylan is dumber than a 10 pound sack of stupid. I’d like to knock those buck teeth down his throat.

  2. He has the same vapid look and hair cut of Dylan Roof, Adam Lanza, etc.

    He should seek help, not be lauded.

  3. Cheese dick high school boy. Not exactly the person you should look to for advice.

    Unless you have a propensity to look to fools for insight.

    If you do, HERE’S YOUR MAN!

  4. Someone should explain to this moron that the institution of slavery is still alive and well in the Muslim turd world.

    Feel that any that read his rant is dumber for doing so.

  5. OK I’m just gonna say it. I think that fool has half-eaten bones of pre-teen children under his bed.

  6. This is the boy who stayed home on prom night and played with his…ahem…erector set. Probably still spends an inordinate amount of time in his room, alone.

  7. Never damn a company while you are taking their money.
    I revise and reprise
    Never bitch and complain about your country while somewhere out in some dusty hot hell hole, a soldier stands between you and (a well deserved) beheading, making it so you and your miserable ilk can mince down to the Latte Shack and vent your bitter spleen on free WIFI

  8. It’s not surprising he thinks like that. That is what they are teaching in school now. Patriots were bullies and tortured people for fun. Being loyal to our enemies gave you a better life because they gave you stuff.

    Seriously, that’s what they are teaching them.

  9. Looks like he has plumped lips and is doing the celebrity picture pout. And don’t be fooled….I’ll bet he spent considerable time working that “devil may care” hairstyle.

  10. Using reading-glasses frames for distance glasses has been “fashion” for a looooong time.

    Never bought into it. Utterly impractical.

  11. Why yes…yes you still can.
    (Don’t you also get the new iOTWr paper and coffee served in bed every morning?)

  12. Slavery would have ended sooner – He assumes that Southern slave owners would have just laid down and taken it from the British Empire. Given the link to British textiles I would bet it would have taken the British longer to outlaw slavery after both groups with a vested and lucrative interest in Southern Cotton put all kinds of campaign money into the coffers of British politicians who would be sympathetic to their cause.

    The South fought their own country men over slavery – they would have revolted against the English and probably dragged the North in with them once the shooting started. So we would have revolted against the British anyway and for the wrong reason – to enslave rather than free people.

    Native Americans would have faired better – not according to this article in Mclean’s http://www.macleans.ca/news/canada/out-of-sight-out-of-mind-2/

    The whole small pox in the blanket think – The British

    Then there’s England’s record of subjugation of the other Indians that took till 1947 to gain their independence.

    Less we forget the behavior of the English in Africa and the Middle East.

    Better government – really? With a weak monarch that sucks blood from the commoners to maintain the charade, the all but vestigial bi-carnal legislative branch, the House of Lords and let’s not forget the always fractious and multi-partied House of Commons.

    No, Thank you

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