A woman who had been married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.
“Of course, madam,” replied the sales clerk, “exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?”
The bride-to-be said, “A long frilly white dress with a veil.”
“Please don’t take this the wrong way, madam, but such dresses are usually more fitting for the first time bride who is more innocent in the ways of life, if you get my meaning.”
“WELL!,” replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk’s directness,
“I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride.
You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our honeymoon hotel.
My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon hotel that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again.”
“What about your third husband?”
“That one was a DEMOCRAT”, said the woman, “and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened.”
*****
h/t Doc
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DOC!
Happy Birthday, Doc!
Happy Birthday, Doc.
And here’s another one for you:
A woman was playing golf when she took a big swing and fell.
The party waiting behind her was a group from Washington, DC that included Barack Obama, who quickly stepped forward and helped her to her feet.
She thanked him and started to leave, when he said, “I’m Barack Obama and I hope you’ll vote for DemocRATS in the 2016 election.
She laughed and quickly said, “Sorry, Mr. President, I fell on my ass, not my head.”
Happy Birthday, Doc!
And imagine…a Democrat spewing hot air – go figure!!! hahahahaha
Happy B-day Doc, may you have many more! Great joke, I copied it and passed it on with full credit to IOTW.
Happy Birthday, Doc!
Ha!
reminds me of a cartoon with a hot young babe in bed with a geezer. caption was “if i didn’t do it before marriage, what makes you think i’ld do it now?”
Happy BDay Doc!!!!!
Best wishes on your birthday!
Finally, a happy thread.
HB, Doc. Many happy returns.
Speaking of weddings…This gown is quite shocking IMHO, for its modesty and elegance. Nicky Hilton is from one of the richest families in America. She could have any dress she wanted. She chose this demure number. Same with The Donald’s daughter. No strapless number for her either. Just elegant.
http://pge.sx/1D8hSdm
Happy Birthday, Doc!
I’m sure you would look fabulous in a wedding dress!
Chelsea Hubbell was dressed in black-tie? I hope she wore more than just the tie. Maybe she’s self-identifying as a man so she’ll get paid more on the next job she fails at.
Did she get the dress she wanted?
Are you an MD Doc? Or a PHD doc? Or a made up Dr. Dre doc?
Happy B’day, Doc.
Hope you have a thousand more.
What difference, after all this time, does it make?
Happy Birthday Doc.
LOL!
Happy Birthday, Doc! 🙂
Happy Birthday, Pa!!
Happy birthday, Doc.
Happy Birthday, Doc! Big hugs! 😀
Check this one out from Old Jews telling Jokes:
http://jetpackmedia.typepad.com/old_jews_telling_jokes/2009/04/neil-lawner-white-wedding.html
Happy Birthday Doc. Thanks for the laugh. 🙂
Nice joke Doc, a bit of misdirection with an interesting (possibly sexy) lead up. Thanks for share and always adding to the discussion.
Looking forward to many years more of rye wit and thoughtful commentary, H-B Herr Doc.
♬♩♬♬♪♬♬ Happy Birthday to you! ♬♬♩♩♪, Happy Birthday to you!♬♩♬♬♪♬ Happy Birthday dear Doc! ♬♩♬♬♪♬ ♬♬♩♩♪ Happy Birthday to you! ♬♬♩♩♪ ♬♬♩♩♪…..
and many more!♬♩♬♬♪♬ ♬♬♩♩♪ ♬♩♬♬♪♬♬♬♩♬♬♪♬ ♬♩♬♬♪♬ ♬♬♩♩♪♬♬♩♩♪ ♬♬♩♩♪…..
That dress looks like it was made from the doilies my grandmother used to make.
Just awful.
Happy Birthday Doc!
Thanks Y’all!
And No I’m not a real doctor, I just played one on the BATTLEFIELD! 🙂