“I Am Woman” Worst Song in Round 2 – IOTW Report

“I Am Woman” Worst Song in Round 2

Imagine won round 1 .

I Am Woman wins round 2.

The nominees for round 3 are in the comments. Upvote the worst ones.

You can make more nominees for round 4.

This will end in round 5 where the top 5 worst songs will square off in a cage match of suck.

105 Comments on “I Am Woman” Worst Song in Round 2

  1. Can we buy Mulligans, or is there no limit on votes?
    They all suck, just questions of the suck power.

  2. I remember “Ring My Bell” was used by every Local Sportscaster on the Evening

    News….Whether it be a Dunk, a TD, or a Homerun….

  3. Having My Baby – Paul Anka

    This may have been nominated before, but I hate it that much.

  4. OK, Yellow Submarine does not belong on this list, wise-ass. And yes, I am a Beatles fanatic but I’m not crazy so I can acknowledge temporary lapses and missteps. As proof I’ll submit “Temporary Secretary” which was a solo McCartney effort.
    By the way, if I make it to heaven my first question will have nothing to do with the meaning of life. I will ask for confirmation that Jimmy Buffett made a deal with the devil to become rich from creating excruciating crap like “Margaritaville.”
    But the all time worst would have to be Don’t Worry Kyoko Mummy’s Only Looking For a Hand in the Snow by that talentless opportunist, Yoko Ono. Look it up at your own peril.

  5. Joan Jett and The Blackhearts
    “I Love Rock and Roll”
    Don’t get me wrong I love R & R too but not this one, they played the hell out it back in the day and now it just gets on your nerves.

  6. Afternoon Delight absolutely does not belong on that list. I associate it with many afternoons of delight in my youth.

  7. OH my never heard the Obuma song that is really something!
    Nor the Hitler one at the very end either! Yeah especially that part Yes we can can, yes we can can
    All wearing tshirts that say “HOPE” WTF

  8. It’s O.K. Fur, most of us have long since come to terms with the wretched state of your musical preferences.

  9. Maybe I missed it but I’ve yet to see Rick Astleys “Never gonna give it up” mentioned. It has to be eligible for a pretty high rating. If not the song then at least the dorky video.

  10. @Miss Kitty,

    Yes, that one. I get a laugh from the line “Put another dime in the jukebox baby”.

    I figure the last time a jukebox sold song for a dime was probably around 1958. In my living memory it cost at least a quarter.

    Sine JJ was born in ’58, I don’t think she ever paid 10 cents for a jukebox song.

  11. Helen Reddy. Heh. Terrible voice. Even worse than “I Am Woman” is “Ruby Red Dress”. Anyone who listens to it is guaranteed to have something bad happen to them.

    Me? Just after listening to it, I was gored by a bull and simultaneously struck by lightning while having a really bad LSD trip.

  12. Thanks for that Fur. Yellow Submarine IS a novelty song! There are lots of great novelty songs. As for Imagine, it’s only the Yoko inspired lyrics that drag it down. Otherwise, great melody, performance and recording.

  13. Dammit, Ginblossom beat me to the punch. Alrighty then, We Didnt’ Start The Fire…apologies if mentioned before.

  14. Hey. The Beatles had to let Ringo sing something, but all of his songs were deep aquatic. Yellow Submarine and Octopuses Garden neath the waves.


    Well there was Act Naturally I guess.

  15. I STAND with IRONY…

    Yellow Submarine…WTF?

    There is MORE production in that one song then most today…via George Martin.

    “Has an interested harmony…
    hard to sing” – @ BFH…I not only ‘sing it’…I whistle it…haha…

    The horn section alone?

    C’MON MAN!!!


  16. Apologies in advance for a semi thread Jack.

    I was listening to old Beatles (whoops. Old and Beatles is redundant) and I heard Revolution.

    It was disturbing.

    ‘But if you want money for people whose minds that hate…’

    ‘But if you talk about destruction don’t you know that you can count me out

    ‘But if you going of pictures of chairman Mao’

    We have arrived.

    Even John Lennon knew more than Joe Biden
    and the leftists.

    Give it a relisten. It’s chilling.



    “O.K. let’s get it on,” :revs engine, pops 10cc into 8 track deck.

    “YELLOW SUBMARINE IS THE WORST SONG EVER WRITTEN. SUITABLE ONLY FOR PRETEENS AND MUSICAL DEGENERATES. Also, I’m pretty sure ladies aren’t supposed to listen to it while pregnant.

  18. Convoy by C.W. McCall, which was really Mannheim Steamroller playing. Put the hein in heinous, and was played every 15 minutes on Format Radio if you liked it or not.

  19. How about “Black Velvet” by Allanah Miles? In my top 10 of the dumbest songs ever written. Horribly whiny voice as well.

  20. OK Back to the thread.

    When I moved from Southern California to Virginia in a UHaul in 1977, coldest January ever, the AM radio would fade out from the Eagles’Hotel California’ and fade up to another station playing ‘Hotel California’. All the way across the country. For 5 days.

    I never want to hear that song again.

    I bought the album before I departure. I never listened to it again. Aaaargh.

  21. This will probably get me in trouble from some folks on here, but here goes anyway. ANY song by The Beach Boys. Mike Love sings like something very heavy is on his testicles. The Beatles are the most overrated band in the history of bands. The Doors are a close second place behind them. Finally, to quote Jeffrey Lebowski, I hate the f@#%kin Eagles!!!!

  22. Often, over-done repetition is what makes a song bad.

    Anything can drive you crazy if IT JUST WON’T STOP!! ARGH!

    Radios have been shot over this.

  23. ANY Beach Boys song?

    I’ll be nice and grant you performance, but Brian Wilson is a brilliant musician who arranged his pieces wonderfully.

    Also, Carole Kaye played the iconic bass riff in Good Vibrations. Nobody puts Carole Kaye in a corner.

    Also, here’s the Beach Boys. The very last track from the very last Beach Boys album ever made.


  24. Copacabana – Barely Manenuff

    It wasn’t a bad tune the first few times, but back-to-back for a solid six months drove me to jabbing an icepick thru my eardrums.
    (Same goes for ‘Mandy’)

  25. Dreams of the Everyday housewife by Glen Campbell!
    Give Brandy by Paper Lace some competition.
    Come on peeps! LOL

  26. Yep Burr The Tone Deaf,the Wreaking Crew was one of a kind.
    Glen Campbell was one of the best.
    Roy Clark was not too bad himself, not part of the crew.

  27. I saw her on the youtube.

    She looks like the sweetest grandma’ ever. Slipped that bass on and sweet mother of mercy, she’s amazing.

    Even gave Brian credit for writing that line, something she said she would have never thought of. (the line, not the credit)

  28. Mr. Burr have you seen the Wreaking Crew movie?
    If not look it up, a great bunch that have a hit list that goes on and on they backed up all of the greats on albums.

  29. Re: Carol Kaye. I was looking at her bio and she just turned 86 yesterday (March 24). It looks like she’s still active, teaching bass and guitar via skype. What a great artist, and a great lady!

  30. While I wait for a timely and erudite reply from Unkly Al, I should like to take this opportunity to agree with Larry’s Brother.

    I composed a lovely reply to Mr. Saltine full of musical trivia and witticism of note and this website ate it. The whole thing. Gone.

    I may begin litigation to have it restored, or, barring that possibility, be compensated for it’s immeasurable loss to the collective knowledge of humanity.

    And now Al can explain his suspect positional notation.

    Can’t see how it could be as interesting as my lost post….but whatever. I don’t run this place…mutter mutter…

  31. Mr. Burr, you would be well advised to consult your attorney regarding procedures to guarantee that your future comments are preserved for posterity and not shoved, low bite first, into the WinTel-Googlian bit bucket of eternity.

    I suspect he’ll suggest “highlight, right-click, copy.”

    That’ll be fai dollah.

  32. ʘ and Δ are already taken. You cannot use them in Duodecimal computations.

    ∰ δ ∇….I’m running out of the sexy calculus symbols…. logical symbols let me refute you thusly however {⊕ ⇒ ∄ ∀}

    My basic premise being that the symbol represents nothing.

    You know…..other than to drive me insane.

  33. Look, you Yellow Submarine Warriors… I could really start dropping bombs by saying anything by Rush is suitable for the Musical Trash Heap of History.
    But, as an olive branch I’m gonna agree with those of you who recommended The Wrecking Crew. What a great movie! I’ve watched it 3 times. Can’t we all just get along and watch it? Haha.

  34. Geddy Lee’s voice sounds only sounds suitable for exquisitely articulating teen angst.

    Or an audiobook on demonic possession.

    Yellow Submarine on the other hand, is irrefutable proof that long term psychedelic and psychotropic drug use results in degenerate cognitive abilities.

    However, in the interests of …(gah)…peace. I will set aside the perfectly obvious and promote the ever charming Carole Kaye


  35. Y’mean, @Aaron, that after all these years I’ve finally done something that has driven you over the edge? Wow!

    It wasn’t on purpose.

    ʘ is U+0298, Bilabial Click.

    From Wikipedia (which site is useful for non-ideological stuff):

    The bilabial clicks are a family of click consonants that sound something like a smack of the lips. They are found as phonemes only in the small Tuu language family (currently two languages, one moribund), in the ǂ’Amkoe language of Botswana (also moribund), and in the extinct Damin ritual jargon of Australia. However, bilabial clicks are found paralinguistically for a kiss in various languages, including integrated into a greeting in the Hadza language of Tanzania, and as allophones of labial–velar stops in some West African languages (Ladefoged 1968), as of /mw/ in some of the languages neighboring Shona, such as Ndau and Tonga.

    The symbol in the International Phonetic Alphabet that represents the place of articulation of these sounds is ⟨ʘ⟩. This may be combined with a second letter to indicate the manner of articulation, though this is commonly omitted for tenuis clicks.

    I love ya, man!

  36. Submariners…. Someone put Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” on the one of the worse lists (they can eat a big bag of herpetic dicks by the way) so I thought well geez if that song is not good music what is?? So I re-listened to YS on YouTube as it has been literally years since I heard it. YS (minus the heavy dope-head overtones) is, I can only image, marginally better than one of Yoko Ono’s loudest and longest queefs.

  37. Geddy Lee’s voice sounds only sounds suitable for exquisitely articulating teen angst.>>>

    Geddy Lee’s voice CAUSED my teen angst.

  38. Excuse me Fur, I don’t wish to be rude, but you’re standing in the way of this cannon I have aimed at Unkly Al.

    Ahem…..me …me…me…

    Bilabial Click? BILABIAL CLICK!?!?!?!?!? AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I searched through every mathematical system of notation ever devised. I EVEN LOWERED MYSELF TO CONSIDER ASTROLOGICAL SYMBOLS. I even searched imaginary number sets. I had you cornered with dek and el…so I thought…it’s base 12, who doesn’t like base 12?

    Instead it turns out I’ve spent the past few weeks slowly descending into madness while being mocked by pop cat.


  39. I can’t even look at you.

    Although….apparently…..I can still hear you.

    :crumples up reams of collected notes, pushes pile off desk and into trash can:

    I’ll never quit smoking thanks to you.



  40. I already surrendered into a pile of nervous exhaustion and cat pee flavored sweat. What more could you possibly desire?

    Your puzzle offered relief of a sorts from the testy cosmological crisis facing physics today. (we’re no closer to figuring out how to destroy the universe than we were yesterday)


    I have a short temper and am tempted to type something very rude using physics symbols in mechanics.

    Now help me find last weeks work. I was close to calculating the Hubble constant as related to increased expansion of the universe. It’s around here somewhere. I used the back to draw some space battles…

  41. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………it was playing in the background as I searched for a mathematical symbol that didn’t exist.

  42. INcreased expansion of the universe? I think you dropped a unitary minus somewhere. With the decreased energy density resulting from universal expansion, the rate of expansion drops proportionally. The rate of expansion DEcreases over time. IOW, that Hubble thingy isn’t really constant.

  43. @Burr, fan of Texas Instruments:

    …cat pee flavored sweat…

    Damn. You clearly have much more experience tasting things than I have. I’ll try to catch up, but it’ll take me a while to get to cat pee.

  44. Al, I was with you not too long ago.

    However, recent advances in data collecting, such as LIGO has proven that not only is the universe expanding, it’s speeding up.

    Which means more dark energy in the universe. Which means all the math from the past 20 years is….. :screws up face into orgasmic exctasy:….WRONG!!!! The Hubble constant gentle slope when graphed out now zooms up at the tail.

    All I’m doing to contribute to figuring out this problem is using statistical mechanics as formulated by Hamilton for use in the subatomic level and applying those formuli into the macroverse. …which takes some tweaking but now that we have so much data I can actually get a workable number of galaxies to organize…..based on most prevalent atoms in each one. (sodium heavy galaxies expand slower)

    So no, Ho is not a constant. It’s a rebel. Which means the universe is a giant lump of raisin bread (galaxies and other superstructure being the raisins) rising and expanding at cartoon like speed…..unevenly.

    Go check out physics. It turns out I needed to check in more than once every 15 years.

  45. Good advice, Burr, especially since it was I who had dropped that unitary minus.

    Funny you should mention raisin bread. Next week on Tue/Thu I’ll be going through upwards of 75 lbs. of flour making Easter loaves for my wife’s church. Two pound round loaves of raisin bread (OK, some plain) with little extra-fine grissini-like crosses on top.

  46. It sounds as though dark energy is much stranger than merely dark. If the universe’s expansion is speeding up, then the decrease in dark energy density is having the opposite effect of the one I would assume it would have: the lower the density, the harder it pushes. No, wait, maybe it isn’t that it pushes harder but rather that it pulls less.

    OK, I’ve got some reading and thinking to do…

  47. Yeah…….that’s how I got into this mess in the first place.

    Now I’m excited at the possibility of essentially collating galaxies….for statistical analysis… in order to get a Doctorate.

    This right here iz the kinds of shenanigans I get into while waiting for car parts to arrive.


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