I like this lane – IOTW Report

I like this lane

Friday, 24 March 2017, 3:00 MJA Uncategorized 35

For the record, I’m OK with #4.
But the other stuff pisses me off.

H/T Jack

35 Comments on I like this lane

  1. They should have special lanes for people with high IQ’s
    And a retaded lane. Coupons, check writing, welfare, kids with mom
    I have never written a check for food.
    Cash only line, no oupons, no kids,

  2. Was behind a lady at kroger once that literally pulled out a calligrapher’s pen and wrote her check in the style, took forever. Then of course the checker and bagger fawned all over the thing…..COME….AAAAN, PEOPLE!
    My store remodeled, going back to the old school belt that I gotta load and don’t get to see what’s ringing up, so I use the self serve now anyway.

  3. I’ve given up on all premises of trying
    to get through a checkout line surrounded by
    retards in a timely manner. These are the same
    morons what will wait ten minutes for a parking
    spot that is twenty foot closer to the door.
    If only you could bring a aluminum bat with
    you to calibrate them. The resounding “tinks”
    would bring a laugh! Bwhahaha!

  5. I am truly awed to be blessed by the presence of people so important they cannot be impacted by the existence of someone else for as little as three seconds. The other day I was hauling a load of steel and an oncoming driver got mad at me because I caused him to take his foot off the gas pedal for three seconds as he approached the other side of the bridge. It must suck to be so easily triggered by someone interfering in your perfect day. Mad Driver, just leave the house three seconds earlier so you can get to your important destination at the time you want.

  6. I read the tabloids while in line, talk to people and just generally be friendly.
    I use to put the tabloid papers back but in front of any picture of the obama’s. I’ll now do that to any cover I don’t like of politicians.

  7. The ONE THING *I* would have added to the list (as #1!!!):
    Put your damned groceries on the belt AS SOON AS there’s space!
    You wait to BEGIN to load only when you’re at the cashier?!?
    GET OUTTA HERE!!!

    Coupons? I *live* for coupons!
    But I always have ’em ready, with cash in hand.

    Checks? As long as the fool doesn’t BEGIN to look for the checkbook after everything is rung up….

  8. At the checkout counter I make a point to let the harried cashier know he/she is appreciated. On the flip side, nothing shows lack of customer appreciation like a self-checkout. Call me old fashioned.

  9. Since your perfect day is already ruined by the moron ahead of you in the grocery checkout line, you could regain control of your time by taking this opportunity to engage in a little observation and introspection. How different are the contents of your grocery cart from the contents of the person’s cart ahead of you? What does that say about you? It says a lot more than you might realize. My cart looks like I’ve just shopped a farmer’s market. The carts ahead and behind me are overflowing with products that have undergone untold transformations to get into their present state. All those transformations cost money. Every step along the way .gov takes an unhealthy cut that feeds the beast. How do you like feeding the beast before you can feed yourself? See, there’s a lot to think about while waiting and before you know it, you are at the head of the line and it’s your turn.

  10. @Czar. Checks? As long as the fool doesn’t BEGIN to look for the checkbook after everything is rung up….

    That is my #1, it kills me when the checker gives the total and the person in line appears to realize for the first time in their life that groceries have to be paid for and have to start looking through their purse.

  12. I’m pretty efficient around the checkout lane. I used to work grocery as a kid and I appreciate the process. I don’t like waiting for inefficient people anymore than I like inefficiencies in general.

    What I can’t stand more than anything in the checkout lane is someone BEHIND me that’s overly PUSHY. I’ve been pushed away from the POS terminal where you ordinarily pay on several occasions. Some people seem to think that just because they are loading the belt with their shit that the entire lane now belongs to them. They need to slow their roll.

  14. Speaking of self checkout, I buy beer at a large chain store. A lot of beer. I always take it through the self checkout lane. “Your order includes an age restricted item…” says the machine, which requires a store employee to come to the self check out to enter my DOB.

    There are always ways of tossing wrenches in the robotic works.

  16. #4 actually does chap my ass. They wait until everything is rung up, THEN they whip out the checkbook and start writing on a BLANK CHECK! Holy shit, what the fuck? Now it’s time to practice your handwriting skills? What in Sam fuck were you just doing in that you couldn’t fill out the payee, date and signature while you were waiting for the final amount?

    However, THE ABSOLUTE WORST is the person who has like 15 things on the belt. After seeing 2-3 other checkout lines with hundreds of items, you think you picked the right lane. WRONG! This person now proceeds to section 15 items into 4-5 smaller piles AND NOW WANTS TO PAY FOR EACH PILE INDIVIDUALLY!

    GO FUCK YOURSELF!

  17. I admit it. When you see a shopping cart full of food abandoned near the checkout lines, ice cream dripping from it, anything refrigerated is sweating, etc.

    That was me. I had to get the hell out of there!

  20. @Not my real name, I’ve often fantasized about higher IQ lanes
    The hidden bonus is, the line would be short !

    OTOH, dealing with the dimbulbs is an exercise is self-discipline
    (“slow your breathing, don’t ball your fist, you will soon be far away from them”)

  21. How about this one, someone’s paying for 15 items with an EBT card but each time the card is processed it doesn’t go through and they removed one item at a time and repeat until they get down to two items and Shazam it works. And yeah it was the shortest line at the checkout.

  23. One of my gripes: Is this a casino or a “convenience” store? I just want to pay for my friggen’ coffee and go! But the lottery players are chewing up all the clerk’s time.

  24. There’s not much you can do to make the moron shoppers any quicker, but there are a few things you can do to speed up your own checkout. Put things on the belt grouped the way you want things bagged: put frozen foods together, segregate cleaners and other chemical non-food things. Also, as you put things on the belt rotate so that the bar code is either facing the cashier or on the bottom for that sort of scanner. If you’re buying something big and heavy, put it in your cart with the bar code on top. Finally, have your credit card or cash in your hand by the time everything’s totaled. You might be pleasantly surprised by how much faster the checkout goes if you do these things…and they don’t cost you any time. All you have to do is think about it as you go along.

  30. Uncle Al,

    There’s been two occasions where I forced them to get to the back of the line. Once at Costco and every one else in line cheered. I normally just grit my teeth if the carts already there and they’re grabbing an arm full of stuff. But an entire carts a different matter. New arrivals from India or Pakistan are big on this.

  31. Bad_Brad MARCH 24, 2017 AT 10:59 AM #6………… More than once I have walked out of a store leaving a full grocery cart because there were thirty people in line and only one or two checkers. Customer service died a long time ago.

  33. You don’t have to wait for the total to swipe your card, enter debit or credit, put in your code, that can all occur BEFORE the cashier is done.
    The worst, pay for one pile with EBT, another pile with check, another pile with debit, another pile with cash.
    Some people deserve killin’.

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