Introducing, The Xuper(Duper)Mask – IOTW Report

Introducing, The Xuper(Duper)Mask

Complex

Most masks don’t have three dual speed fans, a filtration system, LED day glow lights, or noise-canceling audio and microphone capabilities. That’s because most masks aren’t the brainchild of Will.i.am.

Announced today, the multi-hyphenate is linking with manufacturing company Honeywell for a one-of-a-kind piece of technology, XUPERMASK, a $299 product aimed to revolutionize the mask game. XUPERMASK uses Honeywell’s patented HEPA filtration tech with specs straight from the mind of the Black Eyed Peas MC and producer, such as magnetic earbud docking, Bluetooth 5.0, as well as noise-canceling and noise-reduced microphone.

“We have a huge opportunity to do something really big and solve problems that a lot of folks making masks before have ignored,” Will.i.am says of XUPERMASK. More

30 Comments on Introducing, The Xuper(Duper)Mask

  1. Why model the mask with the gray knit cap? It strikes me as being pitched at rioters looking for an excuse to completely cover their faces.

    If any vandals actually do choose this as a way to hide their identity, I’d subpoena the sales records of the company, because there aren’t going to be a lot of people buying these things for legitimate purposes.

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  2. Honeywell, the KTel of useless shit. They had their chance to merge Fairchild Semi Conductor. But they disapproved of the new name. Fairwell Honey Child. That’s a 60’s joke I think. Dang I’m old.

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  3. The guy at the cigar shop showed me a photograph from his cell’ ‘phone, saying, “You will appreciate this…”

    It was a photo of a bunch of people in Vegas from last weekend.

    I said, “What?”, really asking what the significance of it was.

    “Awesome, isn’t it? Not a mask in sight!”

    I pretended I was awestruck. He’s a good guy, I wasn’t clowning him.

    It’s so fucking bizarre that a photograph of dozens and dozens of people NOT wearing masks is significant.

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  4. At the Hobby Lobby today I was standing in line, maskless.

    A woman coming into the store was fiddling with her mask, saw me, held it akimbo, and asked me, “Has the mandate expired?”

    “I don’t care about the mandate.”

    She grunted and the maskless family behind me laughed.

    To hell with your mandate.

    It’s queer also how the word, “mandate” has taken on some kind of universal definition regarding face diapers.

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  5. I got some drawer pulls for my bar. It’s a bar, but I use it as a piece of furniture for my record player. I was tired of cats (real felines) jumping on my expensive audio gear.

    My turntable is now protected from scumbags.

    I listened to Idlewild South (A Brothers) and Gregg Allman’s Laid Back without any cats fucking up my shit.

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  6. I love cats (real felines) but you muffuckers need to stay off my shit. A cat jumps from high (or low) onto my turntable cover and my Cream “Wheels of Fire” LP skitters and skrakes…

    That’s when I really get mad.

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  7. Don’t fuck around with my LPs, bro.

    And don’t fuck around with my record player.

    And don’t fuck around with my Wohler.

    And never even touch my receiver.

  8. A virus that virulent that requires this stupid mask will be virulent enough to enter through your eyes or ears.

    Fauci should be forced to wear an iron version of it 24/7.

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  9. say hello to the new Ronco 2021, Shill.i.am, of nobody needs your fucking ‘XUPERMASK-O-Matic’ invention.
    everything shill.i.am touches turns to shit and people lose money.
    although I haven’t lost any money, he just seems like a dick, and a not in a good way kind of dick.
    at least Ron Popeil made stuff people used and it was reasonably priced, and he wasn’t a dick.

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