Man Wants To Legally Change Age Because He Identifies As Younger


A 69-YEAR-OLD man has demanded to have his age legally changed, arguing judges should allow him to be younger on paper in the same way they can legally change a person’s sex.

Dutchman Emile Ratelband says he looks and feels 49-year-old, and the fact his ID claims he is 69 causes him trouble with both work and women.

Mr Ratelband, who is a famous motivational speaker and media personality in The Netherlands, was born on March 11 1949.

“When I’m 49, with the face I have, I will be in a luxurious position.

“Transgender people can now have their gender changed on their birth certificate, and in the same spirit there should be room for an age change.”

The motivational speaker claims doctors are on his side, as they had to concede his body is only 49.

Mr Ratelband said: “When I’m 69, I am limited. If I’m 49, then I can buy a new house, drive a different car. I can take up more work.

“When I’m on Tinder and it says I’m 69, I don’t get an answer.


35 Comments on Man Wants To Legally Change Age Because He Identifies As Younger

  1. cato beat me to it!
    And uh, Mr Ratelband, you only look 49 to blind people. And that’s only until they feel around your wrinkles.

  2. Bound to happen, the Camel has his nose inside the tent.
    I myself identify as a Test Pilot
    And a Lion Tamer

  3. I’m a Swedish supermodel. This is not a white streak in my hair, I am platinum blonde.

    BTW, I’ll be going to the shopping mall later to pick up my checks. I’m the landlord. I feel landlordish. Rent is due, my bitches!

  4. Sometimes I’d like to be in my 20’s and 30’s again but I’m perfectly happy at 65 and much wiser than when I was younger. I don’t feel like I’m 65 mentally but physically yes I am getting older, just ask my prostate. I’m coming up on the 37th anniversary of my 39th birthday, woo hoo!

  5. One more idiotic result of liberalism, this time from Europe.

    Why would anyone want to do that? Everyone can see he’s an old prick. Who is he trying to fool?

  6. LocoBlancoSaltine November 7, 2018 at 8:31 pm

    LBS – How about a day equal to a 1000 years, or a watch in the night?

  7. Wait…can I identify as 70 so I can quit work and start getting maximum Social Security checks and Medicare? This changes everything.

  8. I think it might be fun to take advantage of leftest pc and demand our rights.

    When CA started giving drivers’ licenses to ILLEGALS, requiring no identifying papers, I was tempted to go get another license as a Guatemalan, no papers or I.D. Just say I’m here to get my license and free stuff. Equal treatment.

    I should start declaring my dog as my dependent, because he definitely thinks he’s human. I often call him Pinocchio, because he wants to be a real boy.

  9. (In all fairness, he only looks about 67 or 68…)

    Actually, I’m rather appalled that the Netherlands court entertained this frivolous nonsense, expressed sympathy and reasons why he can’t “identify” this way, and is even going to issue a written ruling. (That’s what the taxpayers fund a court system for?)

  10. YEAH! I Say – All of the above! ..Oh???………. Crap! Reality – It Keeps screwing things up!

    I’m still Old, Weak and Broke!

  11. Wait!
    Can I be 18 y/o, 6’4″, 180 lbs.?
    And … you know … proportional?
    Oh, and rich!
    (as well as handsome)

    izlamo delenda est …

  12. I can see where he is going with this. But I have my doubts if he has a chance in hell of a successful end. If your not sure about your date of birth or what biological reproductive organ is attached down there, you have other serous issues in the circuitry up above, whether you know it or not.

  13. Some days I feel my age, other days I feel years older than I am, then some days I feel like I’m a teenager again, I hate those days because I always end up passing a mirror and think how the hell did I get so old.

    I honestly though do not want to identify as anything other than what I am, well except maybe a lottery winner and they must give me my millions now.

  14. I think it was a Stanislaw Lem sci-fi novel wherein the government sprayed a gas into the air that made everyone hallucinate and believe they were young, healthy and living in a well functioning paradise eating delicious food.

    The reality was they were sick, living in rubble, in a chaotic society, and eating rotten meat. His story seems to have come true. Only some of us are more resistant to the gas and still know our own age. Among other things about the state of stuff.

    It may have been this novel. Not sure, I read it 42 years ago. When I read several of his books. /

  15. This guy identifying younger makes more sense than a dude identifying as a female. This old guy once was the age he identifies as. A man never was nor can ever be a woman no matter how badly he mutilates his body with hormones and surgery. A facelift will more convincingly knock 20 years off your age than a “sex change” will turn you into the opposite sex.

  16. Holmes was hung for “penis envy”, MJA. He triggered it in every other male on the planet

    BY the way, his execution by hanging was handled without a hitch, much to the delight of the hundreds of female onlookers, who always take pleasure seeing a man well hung


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