The Messangers
A man in Utah has become so fed up with people stealing packages off his porch that he has taken things into his own hands, leaving “porch pirates” an unpleasant surprise of boxes filled with dog poop. More
18 Comments on Merry Christmas, Porch Pirates
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That’s a shitty thing to doo but the porch pirates deserve it.
A box of dog poop isn’t enough.
Make it an exploding box of dog poop.
Loaded with pepper spray.
On second thought, you could probably get in a lot of trouble if your dog poop box actually and literally blew up. But I bet it wouldn’t be hard to rig up some kind of spring loaded contraption that would fling feces all over whoever opened the box. Sort of a filthy Jack-in-the-Box gizmo.
He needs a porch monkey:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qtG82HJB2I
I would advise him not to stomp out any flaming paper bags he finds on his porch.
For those who don’t like cleaning up after their dog, consider it a twofer when the thief takes the boxes.
There’s a guy that makes glitter bombs and stink bombs and puts them in fake Amazon packages.
Fuck these thieves, they’re no better than liberal politicians…they will steal what they can from those they can.
A 12 gauge to the face will greatly reduce recidivism.
Owning a backhoe can be a great benefit.
jellybean – don’t fergit to dial 811…
I agree with Uncle Al. It needs some kind of manure spreader in the box.
I usually put a full pint bottle of India ink with no lid in the bottom of a box. Always make sure there is a gap on the bottom seam or punch some holes in it.
Set it on some type of door mat or on a bottom step. Door camera catches some very great clips. Nearly impossible to wash out.
An acid bath woukd be better.
butyl mercaptan
That’s not the Capitol Hill neighborhood. It’s in the flats at the base of the hill and it’s much, much worse. The city has been trying to gentrify that area for decades but it won’t crack down on the bums and rentals. Keep voting Democrat, Salt Lake. You deserve what you voted for…but keep it inside your city boundaries.
Not my first choice for dealing with porch pirates, but it’s definitely #2
Instead of something harmful ,how about a phone that calls 911 dispatch with a message about the theft & location of the thief, as soon as it leaves the porch?
Surprise!
By the way, put alcohol or antifreeze in the India Ink and it won’t freeze