KFI: The TSA has created a new, more invasive process for airport pat-downs.
For a long time officials had the options of 5 different types of physical pat-downs in the screening lines. The new method is supposed to streamline the whole process.
Those selected for a pat-down will be subject to more rigorous searches. According to a notice at Denver International Airport, the searches “will be more thorough and may involve an officer making more intimate contact than before.”
TSA spokesman Bruce Anderson said:
“I would say people who in the past would have gotten a pat-down that wasn’t involved will notice that the new pat-down is more involved.”
So if you didn’t notice your genitals being groped before, don’t worry, you will now.
Maybe, rather than being molested by paid government perverts at the airports, we should just send all the muslims back to the Arabian Peninsula, instead?
It’s 2017 and the TSA won’t profile and focus on the real threat: Muslims.
What will it take for common sense and sanity to prevail?
Pop a Viagra, show up in cycling shorts, pose a Cpt. Morgan and DARE them for a pat-down.
The TSA is so good, they only failed undercover testing 95% of the time. What are these idiots employed for. Using dogs would be much more effective.
The Israeli’s talk to prospective passengers, they have never lost an aircraft.
OVERWHELM them! I opt out every time I travel by air. Just think what would happen if even 10% of the public opted for the pat-down. Leave 15 minutes earlier than usual and just say “opt out”. Overwhelm the sh!t out of them until every available agent has to be used. It’s more fun than watching them just standing around slack jawed and drooling. Sooner or later even the dullards at the TSA will realize that the pat-downs take too much effort and are uncomfortable for them to perform too. Maybe the airlines will demand a better “system” too.
Oh, and when you get the pat down, be sure to “LEAN INTO IT”.
TSA is the main reason I haven’t flown in over 12 years. It and other government interferences have ruined airline travel.
Ask the TSA employee, “should I turn my head and cough?”
Unfortunately Reb, that will lead to them making the scanners mandatory.
I always opt out, it’s all Kabuki theatre, when the employees have access to tools and baggage areas etc, and the theft by the baggage handlers is huge, do you really think the passengers are the key weakness in the system…hahaha.
Sounds like a good reason for Trump to look into cutting funding and outsourcing to the private sector where they’ll get the job done more efficiently and effectively with less aggravation.
Giggle as they grope your junk.
Another idea: if you’re traveling with your spouse, watch the TSA groping technique and mimic it in line as you wait your turn. If anybody asks what you’re doing, tell him you’re simply making sure you’re acclimated before you get to the real thing so it will be less likely that you will scream under the abuse.
OK. But they have to send me flowers, buy me dinner and kiss me first.
flew last weekend and encountered this 2 base rounding for third grope. Was flying with my teenage daughter in a small airport and virtually no one in line and Barney Fife got his jollys going for the 2 ball in his corner pocket. I basically just laughed as how stupid can a government be to think a white guy, early 50’s flying with his teenage daughter in a nothing airport needs to get molested…..such a waste of tax dollars.
Stop the Press Line…
Cog Jam.
Tranny specific subset.
Who gropes What When Where and Why.
Male on Male? Male on Female. Female on Male.
A dedicated Tranny Line with Tranny Agents? Subversive Shortline Shortcut?
And if they choose a Private Screening… which bathroom stall?
Can I chose my Gender based on the looks of the Groper at the checkpoint?
Feed your Head.
Strange. Last two round trip flights involved almost no interaction with TSA. No shoes off. No belt removal. No laptop out of the briefcase. No junk juggling.
Well, except leaving Las Vegas. Those people were total assholes. Not sure why.
In a related development, it’s been announced that TSA screeners will be allowed to light up a cigarette after each pat down, if they choose.
That should be very interesting to see if they pat down of a Burka wearing passenger. I would bet not.
Also, as a 73 year old, long time single woman, I might start flying more frequently, if a man does the patting!
Hope you weren’t the big mac babe…
The time to take a stand is long before you’re in line to fly.
Where are useless MAJORITY Republican Senators & Congressmen?!
Ms Graham, Ms McCain, what are you doing for us Americans?
Can you still blame obola and Barney Frank now ???
When the groping starts, launch into your best Meg Ryan fake orgasm routine.
All we are saying, is give flatulence a chance.
Don’t fly.
Unless it is absolutely necessary. Like a death or a sickness in the family.
Sorry Hawaii, do without my money until the airlines figure out how to screen for the threat, not screen Grannies to appease some idiotic leftist political correctness.
I would not let them do that to my daughter or my Mom, and they sure as hell will not be putting hands on me.
I’ll drive.
This is a beautiful country, people should go out and see it.
Instead of paying the salary for miscreants to grope us like tomatoes, folks should spend that money on corn dogs, gas, a hotel room shaped like a Tee-Pee, a shot glass from somewhere on Route 66. Stuff like that.
@PoorLazlo, you’re right, I agree. Just don’t drive east of Chicago, they charge mucho tolls.
“I caught a terrorist.” said no TSA agent…EVER!!!
Takeaway Several Amendments
Tough Shit America
!!! DON’T FLY COMMERSH !!!
My family doesn’t fly either. We’ll plan a little extra time into a trip and drive. We will not subject ourselves to this intrusion. And this is coming from a commercial pilot.
Just close your eyes and say say, “Mmmmmmm…fuck yesssssss…”
Just one more reason to never fly back to the US again.
They making it easy.