The New Me – author unknown


I used to think I was just a regular person, but I was born white which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist.

I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today’s standards, makes me a fascist.

I am heterosexual, which now makes me a homophobe.

I am retired, which makes me useless.

I think and I reason, therefore I doubt most of what the mainstream media tells me, which must make me a reactionary.

I am proud of my heritage, which makes me a xenophobe.

I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist.

I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual’s merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist.

I believe in the defense and protection of my country and I honor those who served in the Armed Forces, which now makes me a right wing-militant.

          Please help me come to terms with the new me . . . because I’m just not sure who I am anymore!

          Funny that it’s all just taken place over the last 7 or 8 years!

          As if all of this nonsense wasn’t enough to deal with, now I’m not even sure which toilet to use!

ht/ brown-eyed girl

28 Comments on The New Me – author unknown

  1. NO! That is just me (many of us). I owe no apologies. I have not changed much over the years. Perhaps a bit less promiscuous. Now I just dream of sex.
    “Speaking the truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act.” Geo. Orwell

  2. Hopefully, you don’t do yoga or a martial art because you would have to add cultural appropriation and ableism

  3. To ‘who’ are you all those negative things? And do you really give a shit?

    Consider what ‘we’ think of ‘them.’

  4. Just went over that list again and I duplicate it. All except the “As if all of this nonsense wasn’t enough to deal with, now I’m not even sure which toilet to use!”

  5. I have been rereading The Once and Future King by T.H. White, a retelling of the story of King Arthur, but as related in the mid-20th century to schoolboys of the era. This paragraph is from Chapter 8 of the Ill-Made Knight subsection. It seems particularly appropriate these days. Comments in parentheses are mine.

    Lancelot had several other adventures during his first quest–it lasted a year–but perhaps only two are worth repeating in detail. They were both mixed up with the conservative ethics of Force Majeur (I think of these as current liberal thought) against which the King had started his crusade. It was the old school, the Norman baronial attitude, which provided the adventures at this period–for few people can hate so bitterly and so self-righteously as the members of a ruling caste (Swamp) which is being dispossessed. The knights of the Round Table were sent out as a measure against Fort Mayne, (Fort Mayne is a concept, essentially Might Makes Right) and the choleric barons who lived by Fort Mayne took up the cudgels with the ferocity of despair. They would have written to The Times about it, if there had been such a paper. The best of them convinced thelmselves that Arthur was newfangled, and that his knights were
    degenerate from the standards of their fathers. The worst of them made up uglier names than Bolshevist even, and allowed the brutal side of their natures to dwell on imaginary enormities which they attributed to the knights. The situation became divorced from common sense, so that atrocity stories were accepted by the atrocious people. Many of the barons whom Lancelot had to put down had worked thelmselves into such a state about him, through fear of losing their ancient powers, that they believed him to be a sort of poison-gas man. They fought him with as much unscrupulousness and hatred as if he had been an antichrist, and they truly believed thelmselves to be defending the right It became a civil war of ideologies.

  6. I am iOTW.
    We will not quit, we will take the fight to you,do not test us.
    With many other deplorable voters we will defeat you.
    And I am Trump supporter and damn proud of it.
    We have been in this fight for a long time.
    The left will not define us, ever.

  7. And yet all you people will die early in the upcoming battle because you don’t even come come close to practicing what you you preach. Cool with me. It will give the rest of us a little time.

  8. This manifesto is plagaristically close to the old Evil Conservative manifesto….it just doesn’t rhyme.

  9. And I now for a fact the warrior Geoff C doesn’t own a carry weapon. Hurray for us. This is the problem.

  10. The younger generations are just as strange to us as we were to the prior one.
    Only weirder, and without critical thinking, honor, and probity.

  11. I am brown and perpetually stuck to Larry the Liberal’s white ass. I am a mixed race which makes me a traitor to my own shit kind.

  12. Anon. Why are you being a dick? I know who you are.
    And you are wrong. Shall I call you out.

  13. I am an Unlabeled-American. I have worked my whole life, paid my taxes (as ‘legally’ confiscated by regulation … not law), paid my Social Security & Medicare … every freakin’ paycheck! paid my state taxes, county taxes, real estate taxes, gas taxes, excise taxes, internet taxes, phone taxes, income taxes, sales taxes, recycling taxes, ad infinitum (good thing our racist ancestors fought a revolution over taxes, huh?). now that I am collecting SS & have unwanted Medicare, I still have to claim SS in income taxes & make monthly payments to medicare! wtf?

    now, I support countless drug addicts, homeless, crack-addled criminals, their kin that hate me for my melatonin count, illegal aliens, hell-bent on destroying me, my home, my family & my way of life, kill all the men & rape & enslave all the women … & they & their enablers say I should give everything to them because, somehow they deserve it because in the past … and I quote, “some people did something”

    pardon my French, but when you talk about fair-share, reparations, & all those other guilt-trip handouts, you can just Kiss My Phucking Ass

    done w/ this shit!

  14. gee sure are a lot of pissed off men here and rightfully so. Nothing like venting…I guess…year after year…as the demographic time bomb moves inexorably closer to making whites a minority in our own country.

    Texas is almost in play in 2020 and if not, you can just about write it off the red state list in 2024. Then? In a word, no more republican presidents in our lifetimes. And for all intents & purposes, no more for the rest of the life of this country.

    You think white hate is boiling now? HA! Wait until they control the levers of power, with no chance of the worm turning.

    Sink your teeth into this

    There’s just too many SMODs converging on us at the same time. There’s just so many times you can dodge one or the other. You can’t keep turning 21s, sooner or later, you’re gonna bust out.

  15. A friend collected a new sig during the Obama years. Actual name-calling of conservatives by BO and co and the media (may not be complete):

    “I am ankle biter peasant angry mob moron raaaaaacist troublemaker evilmonger astroturf stupid disruptive rightwingnut Indy hick Neanderthal kkk applicant K street Lobbyist hired mob un-American Nazi-loving brown-shirt bitter clings to guns and Bible homophobic xenophobic redneck teabagger irrational extremist whacky maverick fire-breathing nut job just want to see you die bigot nativist Islamophobe mosque basher psychopath nuts whacko fruitloop flat-out crazy paranoid unwashed ignorant illogical subversive unhinged fanatic loon enemy coward exterminationist captive to my fears don’t think clearly hater scared moonbat flat earther birther carny barker full of extreme rhetoric and vitriol desperate and dangerous with a sloping forehead goofball weasel destructive child Walmart shopper low information voter fragger (baby-kidnapping) terrorist extremist suicide bomber bomb throwing democracy threatening Al Qaeda (Christian) Taliban hostage taker jihadist ignoramus destructive child delusional ignoramous economic terrorist tyrant hobbit real enemy maintaining states rights and slavery going to hell put party before country son-of-a-bitch barbarian.”

  16. Everybody sing:
    I used to feel alone in a crowd
    But now you look around these days
    And it seems there’s a Racist CRAZE
    I’m a Racist he’s a Racist she’s a Racist we’re all Racists wouldn’t you like to be a Racist too?
    Drink up Shriners!

  17. Yeah, well…
    …and here’s one (*not* as delicate) I’m partial to…

    Partly because “they say so.”

    I’m a white supremacist.
    Partly because they say writing and speaking properly is white privilege.

    I’m a white supremacist.
    Partly because they say behaving in a civilized manner is “acting white” and thereby racist.

    I’m a white supremacist.
    Partly because they point to advanced civilization (not limited to mathematics, fine arts, etc…but you get the idea) as “white supremacism.”

    I’m a white supremacist.
    Partly because they say intelligence is “white oppression” and “systematic racism.”

    So, I’m a white supremacist, simply because they acknowledge my mind, behavior and culture are better than they and theirs are…and, who am I to argue?!?

  18. If Booker T. Washington could see this he’d say “I told ya so!”

    “There is another class of coloured people who make a business of keeping the troubles, the wrongs, and the hardships of the Negro race before the public. Having learned that they are able to make a living out of their troubles, they have grown into the settled habit of advertising their wrongs — partly because they want sympathy and partly because it pays. Some of these people do not want the Negro to lose his grievances, because they do not want to lose their jobs.”

  19. I used to be a conservative
    Then I was a Reagan Democrat…
    Then I became an Angry White Male
    After that I was part of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
    I became and still get called a Climate Denier
    I had a short stay with the Swift-boaters
    Obama called me a Bitter Clinger
    So I joined the Tea Party
    Then I was called a Racist
    After that I was just another part of a basket of deplorables which included homophobics, misogynists, Islamophobics etc….
    Then very quickly I was a fascist, and a Nazi, a White supremacist and now
    A white Nationalist

    Apparently, this is Progress

  20. One thing’s for sure, if there was an award for Whining, Belly-aching, Finger-pointing and Name-calling, the democRATs would be the clear, gold-medal winners!

  21. As a long haired teenage rock star in the early 70s I was called many things based on unrealistic assumptions, by adults.
    These days I’m called many things based on unrealistic assumptions, by the young.
    I’m the same person I’ve always been.
    My conclusion is many people are “clickish” and full of shit.


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