Who would you trust before Hillary?

45 Comments on Who would you trust before Hillary?

1. Stevie Wonder giving me a haircut while wearing rollerskates.

2. A rabid, foaming at the mouth, filth incrusted, grubbing maggot. Sorry maggots, I know they are a lot more clean, useful, and reliable than HRC, (and don’t get rabies), but I still don’t like them. Eeeewwww

3. Jim Jones

4. Bill Clinton saying he wouldn’t cum in your mouth.

5. Anthony Weiner can chaperone my daughters field trip to DC.

6. A wet fart.

7. I’d trust a back street Miami plastic surgeon to perform a penis enlargement before I’d trust Hill in the oval office.

8. I would trust a Blue Faced Mandrill with a near-lethal dose of amphetamines shaving my naughty bits with a straight razor taped to the end of a thirty foot bamboo pole, duct taped to his forearms, before I would trust Hilary Clinton as President.

9. A wolverine in a petting zoo

10. Hitler

11. I’d trust Michael J. Fox carrying my Faberge egg down the sidewalk before I’d trust Cankles in the White House.

12. My own bowels. Thank God for healthy bowels.

13. A Muslim with my pet goat.

14. 4000 homeless hippies in Seattle to shave, take a bath, get a haircut, get a job and pay for a place to live.

15. A North Korean rocket launch

16. I would trust the citizens of Ferguson the next time a black youth is shot by a white cop.

17. Ted Kennedy with my 21 year old daughter.

18. charlie manson as a roommate

19. Bernie Sanders with my financial portfolio.

20. Joe Biden with the nuclear launch codes.

21. The rest of the 7.2 billion people on Earth plus all the dead people.

22. Tell me again how many billion people are there on the planet? minus one.

23. I would trust Jeff Dahmer preparing my lunch on the deck of the Titanic piloted by Blind Mullah Muhammad Omar on the way to Saudi Arabia to host a pig pickin’ at the kaaba stone as a benefit for the Israeli Defense Force veterans association before I would trust Hillary “Death-eyes” Clinton.

24. Eternal cracker p I did not see your comment or I would have just thumbed you up!

25. Planned Parenthood President Cecile Richards with my pregnant wife.

26. Convenience store sushi

27. Gilligan with getting me off the Island

28. I would trust my retirement funds with Charles Ponzi, Bernie Madoff, and Lehman Brothers before I would trust Death-eyes on anything.

29. I’d trust Lucy with the football before I’d trust H-Rod.

30. Why would you put anyone above yourself

31. I would trust Satan to tell me hell was fun, with Eleanor dancing in a tutu behind him and FDR wearing an old outfit of Mamie Eisenhower falling into the “Welcome to Hell” cake on the buffet table, while Obama sat at Satan’s hooves trying to figure out which cock to suck first.

32. I’d trust Paul Ryan to live up to his potential before I’d trust HRC.

33. I would trust a campground outhouse with the vault full to the toilet seat with large alligator snapping turtles before I would trust the bitch.

34. Ted Bundy in a sorority house.

35. Michael Vick to babysit my dog.

36. Idi Amin cooking gumbo…

37. George Armstrong Custer’s directions…

38. Amelia Earheart’s flight plan…

39. I’d trust Lorena Bobbitt to treat me right before I’d trust that witch bitch Clinton.

40. I’d trust Hal to open the pod bay doors.

41. Single ply fece paper

42. A Vampire to give me a hickey

43. A pregnant lady with my ice cream

44. A man-hating, militant feminist lesbian Mohel.

45. I’d trust dinner with Jeffrey Dahmer first.