Why Does the Left Hate Capitalism? My Ridiculous Theory

The left sucks at competition. They were born that way.

Ever since I was a kid I’ve noticed that the kid who whines about “fairness” is the kid that stinks at whatever game he is pouting about.

Oh, you don’t like the rules for this particular pick-up baseball game? That’s because you suck. You just struck out, take a seat. Sit there and think about how you’re going to get even with everyone one day.

The science fair didn’t adequately post the rules and you see no reason why your late, and off-topic, submission shouldn’t be considered for the top prize? That’s okay, you’ll get even one day. While others build character, you build resentment.

What’s that? You really hate playing Monopoly because someone always “takes it too seriously,” even though you’d eat the dice and the little metal dog if you could just win that one time.

But you can’t win. You lack whatever it takes. Whatever “it” is, you don’t have “it.” But what you do have are thousands of other bitter losers just like you that will line up to vote for you like you’re a rock star.


It’s like how ugly and untalented became so huge in the 80s. Nerds need their heroes. And losers need their politicians.

And when the losers manage to amass a winning voter bloc, who do they go after?

This guy —->Unknown

The symbol of their youthful loserdom.

This deep-seated hatred of capitalism was formed because they suck at games. (I’m sticking with this theory.) And every businessman is now the chubby, top-hatted, mustachioed robber baron. They are scumlords who need to be gotten even with, even if it means collapsing the entire system (symbolic of tossing the monopoly board in the air when they couldn’t win), how else would one explain their insistence of implementing a “living wage” for every horse’s ass that strolls over a border or slept through high school?

San Francisco is the latest city to be caught in the wrath of the loser politician getting even with everyone. Their 15 dollar an hour minimum wage isn’t helping anyone.



26 Comments on Why Does the Left Hate Capitalism? My Ridiculous Theory

  1. It’s not about raising the minimum wage, it’s about lowering the wages of those who make more than minimum. It’s not about following the rules, it’s about changing the rules to throwing the board in the air is now part of the process, as written in the new rule book. Sucky life is so much better when everyone else sucks. Dragging people down with them is easier than improving their own lives.

  2. It is not a “Ridiculous Theory”. Obama himself calls life a “Lottery” as if being rich or poor is just luck. Maybe because in his case it is true, but for most of us that have achieved things, we have them because we worked our asses off. While he was chooming with his high school pals or experimenting with drugs while “attending” Cambridge (or wherever) I was working 80-100 hours a week, and I am 3 years younger than he is. Yes, at 18, I had a full time job and was starting my own business while at 21 he was getting high on someone else’s money.

    Since he can’t succeed in a capitalist world, he sets out to destroy it. And he is doing a pretty good job of that.

  3. Capitalism merely breeds free will and that is unacceptable to the left, it’s really that simple.

  4. Nailed it!
    This is also why so many of them have never left their mother’s basement.
    It’s so safe down there…way better than venturing out into the big, scary world, where they can get their feewings hurt.

  5. Kent Brockman – “So you’re saying we should crack everyones’ skull open and feast on the goo inside?”
    Scientist – “Yes Kent.”

  6. “Lottery winners” become hippies. Rich, bored kids who have no survival fear or concept of how the real world works decide that they have The Answer and try to force it on everyone. It has been happening for eons.

  7. Good and Evil.
    Liberty and Slavery.
    Freedom and Oppression.
    Love and Hate.
    Light and Shadow.
    Breathe and Suffocate.
    Swim and Sink.
    Soar and Crash.
    Beauty and Ugliness.

    “Capitalism” and Socialism.

    The choice is clear.

  8. Petty jealousy and anger. They try to couch it in pseudoscientific terms like “social justice”.

    I usually point out that the inequality between the haves and have-nots is ALWAYS greater under socialism than capitalism. Whether it’s ” democratic socialism” or totalitarian dictatorships. The few who have the power to redistribute other people’s shit always keep the best stuff for themselves and their cronies.

  9. I’ve harbored a similar theory for years. It also goes a long way to ‘splaining the choice of homosexuality. The Betas & Deltas of their respective genders can’t (or won’t) compete (for whatever reason: looks, drive, psychology, weakness, etc, etc) with the Alphas so they compensate & survive by self-selecting an arena that excludes the gender they are low value in.

    Only in this 20th/21st century modern world is it possible for them to escape the Darwinian absolute – Adapt or die.

    In the coming SHTF world, even if they survive they won’t contribute to the future Alpha gene pool. In that case the specie will do it’s own selections on a much tougher process.

  10. Ask yourself a simple question…

    How many government workers, of virtually any stripe (with perhaps the exception of law enforcement or CIA types) have you come across leaving you saying “man, that was one sharp sonofabitch there”?

    Answer? Exactly none.

    As those of us here understand all too well, when everyone gets a “gold star”, gold stars don’t mean shit.

    That’s why they are all democrats. A government job is really just one step on the scale above a welfare recipient. At least they get up and go somewhere most days, although I heard on the news this morning that they miss work something like three times that of people involved in the real world.

    Nope, theirs is a gray world, for gray people, and they can’t abide colorful folks reminding them that they are gray. So they seek to diminish and dirty up the whole shebang so that everything and everyone is infinitely less spectacular.

    Leftists are the reason that we can’t have anything nice.

  11. We didn’t let him. He conjured up all the losers in the country to join him in his attempted final destruction of the John Galts of the U.S.

    oops, not anonymous, it’s me, Plain Jane who’s little finger is quicker than my mind this a.m.

  12. They’re simply trying to justify their lazy childish stance; always at the expense of another, and so much power has been given to that, it is SURREAL.

  13. I’ve come to the same conclusion. In my college years, I noticed that the kids on “the fringe” were nearly all lacking in some pretty important areas: looks, talent, intelligence, motivation, personality, etc. They were the ones who found others like themselves at the local coffee shop, started dressing in some sort of conforming “non-conformist” outfit, and then they all patted the others on the the back professing how much smarter and more enlightened they were than all those stupid normal people. It was a giant circle jerk, and they came to believe their own delusions. I ran across many of them and knew lots of them, and while at the time I had no problem socializing with a lot of them, I thought they were pretty much self-absorbed losers. Now, three decades later, the few I’ve had the displeasure of talking to over the past several years are insufferable, mean-spirited, intolerant leftist creeps who have convinced themselves they are the nation’s intelligentsia. I wouldn’t piss on any of them if they were on fire.

  14. There ARE smart gov’t workers – they just, usually, don’t interact with the public. About 35% of em are willing to work, reasonably intelligent, and resourceful. May be less now – the Obola-ites have fucked up everything.

  15. In it’s most fundamental sense, socialism is parasitism.

    Socialists don’t want to think, to work, to do – ANYTHING.

    They want every one and every thing to be as mediocre, hateful, and miserable as they.

    In Cambodia, after the Khmer Rouge was overthrown, they asked some youngsters why they became communists. Their answer: “We didn’t have to go to school and we got to kill people.”
    (Black Book of Communism)

    A perfect exposition of the socialist mind.

  16. Oh. Also, they had to invent “Capitalism” to hate it, because there is no such thing as “Capitalism” since being a “Capitalist” just means that you want to do what you want with your own fucking money.

  17. It’s a fact that guys who miss their Tee times and bitch at the starter and complain to the pro that the starter is unfair, usually suck at golf anyway.

    Same goes for the ladies.

  18. Chief — Amen and amen!! And one cannot help notice that most agency workers are ESL’s and proud of it!

  19. You know what? If you suck at something, try something else.
    For example: I can’t swim. Not afraid of water, I’ve taken lessons, etc. I just can’t do it. lol. Should I expend energy that I could have used learning to do something else by going out and demand that pool water be lowered to 3 feet? Should I force others to stop swimming when I’m around so as not to hurt my feelings? Should I protest the Catalina Swimsuit Company? NO!
    I did some good old fashioned trying, found a hobby, and discovered I’m really good at it, dammit! I now make swim suits. Like these: http://i00.i.aliimg.com/img/pb/219/508/658/658508219_222.jpg

    OK no, I don’t.

    But the moral of my story is… If at first you don’t succeed, it’s your own fucking fault, keep trying other shit, and leave my ass out of it.

Comments are closed.