You Know What Day It Is… – IOTW Report

You Know What Day It Is…


23 Comments on You Know What Day It Is…

  1. A guy walks into a bar on his lunch, sits down and orders a drink.
    While sitting there he hears “Nice tie, goes good with your suit”.
    Guy looks around and there’s nobody there but the bartender at the other end of the bar. He shrugs his shoulders and continues enjoying his drink.
    A few minutes later he hears the voice again “You’ve got a great smile, you’re a lucky man”.
    He sets down his drink, looks around. Nobody’s there. Shrugs his shoulders and goes back to his drink and the voice pops up again.
    “You’re one very handsome man, you must have to fight the ladies off”.
    Looks around, nobody.
    That’s it, hey bartender! I think I’m losing my mind, I’m sitting here and someone keeps telling me flattering things and when I look around there’s nobody here.
    The bartender replies with a chuckle, Yeah that happens all the time. See those little bowls of nuts spread about on the bar, they’re complimentary.

  2. Why was the amoeba sad? His parents just split.

    What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.

    From Science jokes

  3. @ Claudia
    “Did you ever stop to think that clapping is literally hitting yourself because you like something?”

    You’re in Dad-joke territory now! That’s the spirit! lol

    Oh, yeah. I would have said that to the boys if it came up.

    Heck, they’re telling MY Dad jokes and making up their own now.

    The groans were worth it. lol

  4. After going to a Rolling Stones (her favorite R&R band) concert, a worried young blond girl went to see her doctor.

    She asked: Doctor, can I get a disease from clapping?

  5. A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.

    The bartender approaches and says, “We don’t serve beer to bears in bars in Billings.”

    The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.

    The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, “We don’t serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings.”

    The bear, very angry now, says, “If you don’t serve me a beer, I’m going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar.”

    The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings.”

    The bear goes to the end of the bar, and as promised, eats the woman.

    He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.

    The bartender states, “Sorry, we don’t serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs.”

    The bear says, “I’m NOT on drugs.”

    The bartender says, “You are now. That was a barbitchyouate!”


Comments are closed.