Outraged Papua New Guinea academics lash out at Biden – IOTW Report

Outraged Papua New Guinea academics lash out at Biden

‘They wouldn’t just eat any white men that fell from the sky’: Outraged Papua New Guinea academics lash out at Biden’s ‘unacceptable’ suggestion that cannibals ate his WW2 pilot uncle.

33 Comments on Outraged Papua New Guinea academics lash out at Biden

  1. “Papua New Guinea academics” — Now, there’s a phrase I never would have imagined seeing ANYWHERE, certainly not at iOTWReport.

    Is that racist of me? Yeah, probably. So?

  2. There’s a pretty good Novel by Ross Thomas “Missionary Stew”

    That being said….Old Bosey probably perished when He stepped out of the

    Aircraft for a Smoke…….at 12,000 feet.

    I mean fur F*cks sakes…He was a Biden.

  3. “New Guinea academics” – i.e., serious food critics. When it comes to cannibal dishes, they know their stuff! 🙂

    (Clearly, the implication is that Biden’s aren’t good enough to be dined on.)

  4. They’re just mad because they have to hurry home for dinner, because cannibals can’t eat after dark.

    Here’s why.

    …one day, two cannibal tribes that ate each other ceremonially, as a form of victory celebration, fought longer than ususal, and the sun was fading rapidly when one tribe broke and ran, leaving their dead behind. The cooks parted and roasted the dead warriors, bringing the choicest cut of the fattest man, a forearm complete with wrist and hand, wrapped in banana leaves and done to a turn, with great jubilation to their chief so he could take the first bite and start the feast. By then, the cooking fire had died down, leaving only a dull reddish glow over the hungry warriors and their umber meats.

    Famished by the fighting and the long delay, the chief snatched the arm and bit into it hungrily, biting down on sinew and tearing into tendons.

    …this caused the hand, which was unfortunately carelessly placed, to close over the chief’s face with a SNAP, with two of the toasted fingers burrowing into his eye sockets, forever blinding him.

    And that’s why cannibals won’t eat after dark.

    Because they can’t see the hand in front of their face.

    Just doing my part for Bad Joke Friday.

    Please don’t bite my head off…

  5. Biden will do damage control at his next speaking event, stating that he grew up in a neighborhood of Melanesian people and he just loves them. Although he would never go to their house for dinner.

  6. Here, you want bad cannibal jokes? Here’s the worst…

    …one day a British explorer stumbled into a clearing and found himself in a clearing full of beautiful, bare breasted women, whom he unthinkingly ogled in his surprise when the angry warriors protecting him grabbed him, tied him to a pole, and carried him off. The man was taken immediately before the Chief, who pronounced summary sentence.

    “You have looked upon our sacred maidens with lust in your eyes, which is not permitted, but because you came upon them by accident we will let the gods decide your fate by playing Maiden Roulette. ”

    With that he claps his hands and six of the most desirable women he’s ever seen, perfect in form and rapturous of face come to the fire and kneel all around him in a circle, looking up at him with lovely eyes and moisened lips parted in expectation.

    The explorer is visibly aroused by this sight but fearful for the situation, when a huge warrior comes to him with a drawn knife, looks at him with disgust as he lowers it to his engorged member, then simply cuts his belt so his pants fall off, leaving his erect shame fully exposed, then the warrior backs off. Confused, the explorer looks to the Chief, who instructs him in the way of the trial.

    “The trial is simple. You will look upon these beauties one by one, and when you have chosen the one you find most beautiful you will insert yourself in her mouth. If you have chosen wisely, she will pleasure you immediately, and become your wife forever, and you will live among us with her in peace for the rest of your days.”

    The explorer goggles at this, then says, “What do you mean, IF I have chosen wisely? What is the “Roulette” part?”

    The cheif smiles at him through sharpened teeth and says, “One of them is a cannibal”.

  7. He also said family members signed up for military after D Day, which was a Sunday.
    The turning point where many young men signed up was after Pearl Harbor attack (Sunday, December 7, 1941, not D Day, Tuesday, June 6, 1944).

  8. I never realized New Guinea had academics. What’s next Ciante and Fava Beans?
    I suppose the fact that dear Uncle Bosey was somewhat waterlogged made the whole cooking process rather academic for New Guinea….

    Two jokes for the price of one…


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