CONTEST: A special Valentine edition of ‘What Did She Do?’ – IOTW Report

CONTEST: A special Valentine edition of ‘What Did She Do?’

chao gao beats hubby with his dildo

1] Killed a neighbor’s Chihuahua with a Pickle Ball paddle.
2] Robbed a Korean liquor store with sharpened pool cue.
3] Road rage incident: She blinded a school bus driver with her laser pointer.
4] Sold counterfeit concert tickets- Caught because of bad Engrish.
5] Beat her husband after she found his dildo.
6] Randomly gave the people in assisted living each others’ medication.
7] Worked at a school for the blind and was caught disrobing while teaching class.
8] Faked being deaf so she could collect disability, was caught giving piano lessons.
9] Superglued her granddaughter’s fingers together because she wouldn’t stop picking her nose.
10] Drove knitting needle through her husband’s scrotum because he forgot to DVR The Walking Dead.

Here’s the contest: MJA contributed 2 of the fake crimes. First person
in comments to identify both of her contributions will win a Keith Safety Whistle, courtesy of Menderman.

67 Comments on CONTEST: A special Valentine edition of ‘What Did She Do?’

  1. What a weird contest. Now, not only would we need to get into the mind of the perp, but also the mind of MJA–which I imagine to be a strange and wonderful place.

  2. I was going to say 4 and 10 but someone already said that. I have a whistle anyway (love it!).

    I picked 4 because I thought MJA likes to say “Engrish” and 10 because, well, doesn’t every woman secretly want to do that?

    hehe

  3. I think MJA’s are 1 & 4, and the real one is 5.

    @greetingsfromyonkers: I have had the honor and privilege of meeting MJA–TWICE! She is one of the funniest people I have ever met. Understanding how she thinks is an exercise in futility. Just roll with it and enjoy her warped sense of humor.

  4. Because my parents made me watch “History Of The World Part I” at the tender and impressionable age of ten, I’m going to say #5 because it’s their fault my wires are crossed. ?

  5. @ riverlife_callie Yes! Simpson & Vail and Addi Turbo’s. Yippee kindred spirits. Also Harney and Sons. It’s only a little addiction.
    What’s your favorite S&V?

    My turbo’s are scared objects only to be handled by me. Once my DH defiled my quilting rotary cutter by using it as a pizza slicing wheel. Glad we didn’t end up on IOTWR ‘What Did She Do’.

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