CONTEST: A special Valentine edition of ‘What Did She Do?’

chao gao beats hubby with his dildo

1] Killed a neighbor’s Chihuahua with a Pickle Ball paddle.
2] Robbed a Korean liquor store with sharpened pool cue.
3] Road rage incident: She blinded a school bus driver with her laser pointer.
4] Sold counterfeit concert tickets- Caught because of bad Engrish.
5] Beat her husband after she found his dildo.
6] Randomly gave the people in assisted living each others’ medication.
7] Worked at a school for the blind and was caught disrobing while teaching class.
8] Faked being deaf so she could collect disability, was caught giving piano lessons.
9] Superglued her granddaughter’s fingers together because she wouldn’t stop picking her nose.
10] Drove knitting needle through her husband’s scrotum because he forgot to DVR The Walking Dead.

Here’s the contest: MJA contributed 2 of the fake crimes. First person
in comments to identify both of her contributions will win a Keith Safety Whistle, courtesy of Menderman.

67 Comments on CONTEST: A special Valentine edition of ‘What Did She Do?’

  1. # 4 and #10….I believe I heard that MJA knits, and while knitting, she’d have nothing better to do then think of alternative knitting needle life choices…

  2. Menderman doesn’t want to win, so is my 4&6 still in the game? Scalia needs to be recplaced, soon, so we can figure it out.

  3. None of the above:
    She was a Saigon whore, but an ally. She cut the dicks off at least seven Viet Cong. Wanted for murder in Viet nam , but was living safely in the US. ‘Till now.

  4. She looks like that gardener someone here posted last week. She was trimming bushes with her friend when she came upon a bird’s nest and they both ate the hatchlings. Whole.

  5. What a weird contest. Now, not only would we need to get into the mind of the perp, but also the mind of MJA–which I imagine to be a strange and wonderful place.

  6. I was going to say 4 and 10 but someone already said that. I have a whistle anyway (love it!).

    I picked 4 because I thought MJA likes to say “Engrish” and 10 because, well, doesn’t every woman secretly want to do that?


  7. Hello all. Because no one guessed my two, I’m going to allow each of you two guesses. Happy VD and Good luck to you.

  8. I think MJA’s are 1 & 4, and the real one is 5.

    @greetingsfromyonkers: I have had the honor and privilege of meeting MJA–TWICE! She is one of the funniest people I have ever met. Understanding how she thinks is an exercise in futility. Just roll with it and enjoy her warped sense of humor.

  9. Isn’t she the Oriental restaurant owner who demands Hugh Grant’s fiancée, “Eat cookie!” in MICKEY BLUE EYES?

  10. Because my parents made me watch “History Of The World Part I” at the tender and impressionable age of ten, I’m going to say #5 because it’s their fault my wires are crossed. ?

  11. Nope. Not yet. But some of you are soooo close. Lucky for you, there is still time. Don’t give up!!! I believe in you!!! 😀

  12. I agree with Aggie.
    1 and 10.
    And I DO have a clue why.
    That MJA is one twisted sister. In a good way, of course.

  13. @ riverlife_callie Yes! Simpson & Vail and Addi Turbo’s. Yippee kindred spirits. Also Harney and Sons. It’s only a little addiction.
    What’s your favorite S&V?

    My turbo’s are scared objects only to be handled by me. Once my DH defiled my quilting rotary cutter by using it as a pizza slicing wheel. Glad we didn’t end up on IOTWR ‘What Did She Do’.

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