1] Killed a neighbor’s Chihuahua with a Pickle Ball paddle.
2] Robbed a Korean liquor store with sharpened pool cue.
3] Road rage incident: She blinded a school bus driver with her laser pointer.
4] Sold counterfeit concert tickets- Caught because of bad Engrish.
5] Beat her husband after she found his dildo.
6] Randomly gave the people in assisted living each others’ medication.
7] Worked at a school for the blind and was caught disrobing while teaching class.
8] Faked being deaf so she could collect disability, was caught giving piano lessons.
9] Superglued her granddaughter’s fingers together because she wouldn’t stop picking her nose.
10] Drove knitting needle through her husband’s scrotum because he forgot to DVR The Walking Dead.
Here’s the contest: MJA contributed 2 of the fake crimes. First person
in comments to identify both of her contributions will win a Keith Safety Whistle, courtesy of Menderman.