The app that could end embarrassing flatulence: Hi-tech breathalyser can analyse which foods cause excess gas
Is he absolutely sure it goes in your mouth?
FoodMarble has designed a breathalyzer that identifies how your stomach reacts to certain foods. Called Aire, it analyzes gases in your gut and rates the discomfort your system experiences.
!snip!
Aire??? That’s just air with an e on the end. That’s too plain a name.
How about Aire Soul?
Compooter?
Anal- izer?
The Gastrater®
The Hillary Clinton Speech Analyzer.
Fart Calculator
Stank-Away
The Unskunk
No Passing Zone
Push My Finger
The Fartulator
Stink-No-More
Of course you know that some bureaucratic ecoweenie somewhere wants to make these mandatory (and fine you every time you fart) in order to save the planet from people passing gas in order to curb greenhouse gas emissions. First they came for the cows…, they could call it the Fartstopper or the Fartzapper.
Fart So Fresh
“All Your Friends Will Think Your Ass Is Blessed
When You Check Your Breath With Fart So Fresh!”
There, the advertising jingle is already done for you guys. I expect to hear this on Cavuto’s FNC show.
Ah, I see future applications for this device. Change the variables, and it can analyze anything.
Instead of Fabreeze they should call it Fabrass so that your ass smells fabulous when you pass gas.
B.A.F. (Bare Ass Fart)
“The Baffer”
A must have for every homosexual man who has been embarrassed by causing trombone dick farts during butt sex!
think of how boring the world would be without farts!no more pull my finger jokes,no more office crop dusters,no more whoopee cushion fun!
Fix-A-Flatulence.
Flat-u-Later
Smart Feller.
If Fix-A-Flatulence was anything like Fix-A-Flat it would come with an easy handy dandy applicator tip ready to shove up the old wazzoo to fix the problem of leaking ass gas.
We Don’t Need No Stinking Gas!
Flappa Blappa
The app that could end embarrassing flatulence: Hi-tech breathalyser can analyse which foods cause excess gas
This app could also be used to increase embarrassing flatulence; the device data could be used for opposite purpose. But I’m sure that there will be an authorizing-agency warning that it would be a violation of federal law to do so. So don’t worry.
Democrat whisper suppressor
Don’t need one. The number of Cashews I eat -five poofs for every cashew.
Maybe it should be the Poofer Counter.
The Blow-it Tout