I will be including a few more of my own after I post some of theirs.
-Napoleon wasn’t short, he was 5’6″, slightly above average in France at the time.
-Pennies dropped on people’s heads, from whatever height, cannot kill you.
-The Great Wall of China is not visible to people orbiting Earth.
-Flushed toilets do not swirl the other way in the Southern Hemisphere.
-No, mother birds will not abandon a touched baby bird.
-Police do not require 24 hours to write a missing persons report.
-Bats are not blind.
-No, it doesn’t take 7 years to digest swallowed gum.
-SOS doesn’t stand for Save Our Ship.
-Ben Franklin didn’t want a Turkey as a national symbol when designing the national seal, he wanted Moses.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-No, Michelle Obama is not one of the hottest women on the planet, nor is she any more “elegant and classy” than any random woman.
-Sarah Palin never said she can see Russia from her house.
-No, you cannot “change your sex.”
-No, man cannot control the climate.
-No, white people were not trying to say blacks were 3/5th human in the 3/5th compromise.
-No, Obama was never a constitutional professor.
-No, The Clinton Foundation is not one of the highest accredited charitable organizations.
-No, Michael Brown never had his hands up while saying, “don’t shoot.”
-No, Islam is not the “religion of peace.”
-No, there aren’t more than 2 genders.
-No, homosexuals do not make better parents.
– add to the list in the comments
ht/ fdr in hell
No, Hillary will not be your next President.
Yes. Kwanzaa is a totally made up holiday devised by a professional felon.
No. Barack Obama cannot use brainwaves to bend spoons.
But Chuck Norris and Donald Trump can.
No, you cannot make this sh!t up!
No, Hillary is not the smartest woman in the world or even in a phone booth.
No, sober people do not eat at White Castle.
No, deplorables are not haters. Yes, Obama is a hater. Yes the left are tolerant of everyone that agrees with.
Yes, Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
No, John Podesta does not literally eat pizza.
You cannot pick up an 0webama by the “Clean” end
No, Nobel Prize recipients are not necessarily smart.
>> No, sober people do not eat at White Castle.>>
hehe
No, Russia did not hack the election.
No, You do not have to be intelligent to be on the Nobel Awards Committee.
No. Barack Obama is not straight.
No, there is no such thing as a Sharknado, but it does sometimes rain fish.
Yes, heraldo rivera is short, he’s also a Huge asshole, and he smells.
No. Aunt Esther from Sanford and Son was NOT hotter than Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island.
No, it wasn’t pneumonia.
No, building homes for people is not an act of aggression.
No. BJ Clinton did not cross the road because he was having relations with the chicken.
Yes, Chelsea is not Bills biological child
No, al gore did not create the internet
No, hard work never killed anyone.
No, you will not grow hair on your palms it you do that too much, and it won’t put your eye out.
Yes, Rodger Clinton got a dui in calif. before the 2016 presidential elections, and yes no one has heard from him since it happened.
Yes, I don’t give shit!
No, “What’s true for you may not be true for me,” doesn’t make sense.
No, Ralphie didn’t shoot his eye out.
No, you can not get electrocuted from a battery operated vibrator.
No, polish people did not lose the recipe for making ice, muslims did.
No, the Tea Party is not dead. We just elected Trump!
No, Obama was not born in Hawaii
Yes, he came from Uranus.
No, Obama didn’t save anyone $2500,00 on health care costs!
No, There isn’t any White Lash.
No, there isn’t any White Hispanic
No, There isn’t any White Privilege
No, There isn’t any African American President
No, there is not a USS Harvey Milk and it’s not full seamen…
No, OJ never spent a minute looking for the “real killers”
No, Ted Kennedy never went back to save Mary Jo
No, George Bush did not cause the 2004 Indian Ocean Tsunami nor the 2005 Hurricane Katrina
No, the LA Times never released the Rashid Khalidi tapes with Obama in attendance, praising the terrorist bastard.
no … you can’t keep your doctor
no … Obama is not a Christian
no … Mrs. Robinson & her daughter have not eaten everything in the White House Pantry … but they’re trying
Napolean?!?
Readers’ Digest would have a *smidgen* more credibility
if they knew how to spell NAPOLEON’s name correctly.
No, tom cruise did not kill oprah. Yet.
Yes, Scientology is a cult, but so is Islam.
Yes, Moosehead is the name of a Canadian beer.
No, it’s not moose piss, but does in fact taste ok.
Yes, patron tequila can be used as motorcycle fuel.
Yes, vodka can be used as antifreeze.
No, Ronald Reagan did not close down the mental hospitals.
No, the science is not settled.
Meerkat: Hello, I’m Meerkat and this is my brother Inigo. Say hello Inigo.
Inigo: Hello Inigo. How’s it goin’, eh?
Meerkat: So today we will prove that gut-rot beer is better in the Great White North than in those 57 states below us. Are you ready Inigo?
Inigo: Eh!
Meerkat: I will take that as a yes. So we will sample three common beers Budweiser and Coors from the lower 57 and Moosehead from the Awesomely Great White North, also known as Canada.
Inigo: These are cans not bottles, I prefer bottles.
Meerkat: Up North we prefer “Cans, ugh, da!” But first let’s have a pallet cleanser, here’s some Sam Adams Boston Lager.
Inigo: OK, Wow what is that crap!
Meerkat: Now you’re ready, try the Budweiser.
Inigo: Tastes like water.
Meerkat: Now taste the Coors.
Inigo: Tastes like piss.
Meerkat: Now you are ready for your favorite. Moosehead. Go!
Inigo: Piss-water!
Meerkat: So there you have it folks, Budweiser wins by not having piss in their beer!
Indigo: Where is that Sam Adams?
Yes, Thomas Jefferson had a Quran.
Yes, Obama took the oath of office using a Quran, not a Bible.
Yes, John trivolta is a closet queen.
Yes, Thomas Edison was an asshole.
Yes, Nikola Tesla’s ideas were stolen by edison.
Yes, Marconi created the idea and use of radio transmission first.
Yes, Edison, Marconi and Tesla all knew each other and were in competition with electronics.
Yes, evil is real and it’s desire is for your soul.
Yes, The actress Mary Pickford is the great aunt of my best friend.
Yes, Hollywood will kill your soul if you come here looking for a job.
Yes, madonna is a succubus
Yes, Sean penn is an incubus.
Yes, Sean penn was married to the princess bride.
Yes, bill and ted did have an excellent adventure, but Rufus really didn’t like either of them.
Yes, Walt Disney was a ragging alcoholic.
Yes, Steve Jobs was exponentially smarter than the entire Microsoft team combined.
Yes, Karl Malone was nicknamed the mailman, but never worked for the post office.
No, Santa Karl was not Karl Malone, in fact, Jimmy Kimmel.
No, Paul is not dead, but ringo will be soon.
Yes, I’m hungry and I’m going to eat.
No. Communist progtards cannot fit a dozen moslem penises in their every orifice all at once. Barry Hussein 0bama holds the record at eleven and a half. Harry Reid at 10. And Valery Jarrett in 3rd place at 9.
Actually, I prefer Heineken, but thanks, do you have and nachos?
No, Benghazi was not caused/motivated by some boob on y0utube.
No, the Gabby Giffords shooter was not motivated by Sarah Palin’s ‘target’ map, for crying out loud. Nor was he “right-wing”
No, there is no surge in ‘hate crimes’ against Moslems or any group because of Trump’s ‘hateful rhetoric’, because there is no surge in the first place, and the few incidents that have popped up have ALL been proven or admitted fabricated thus far. If any measurable uptick in crime could be ‘blamed’ on someone’s messages in the media, I think we all have a clue what side of the aisle they’d be on, judging from the handful of anti-Trump supporter (even without evidence that the victim was a Trump supporter in the first place) crimes that have been allowed to bubble up to the national level. Besides, one guy has even been murdered for just looking like the guy–though that may just be his whacky defense, so we’ll see. But there’s not been a single murder or even violence from the side that’s supposedly going to send us back to medieval times. Funny, that.
No, women aren’t going to be denied birth control for crying out loud. Nobody wants that. Nobody running for or elected President has EVER wanted that in my lifetime, and I’m over 3 decades old now. Please, you think we want liberal harpies to introduce children to that insanity? Seriously though, I’ve never met even a single person (and I’ve spent plenty of time around some pretty hard-nosed Catholics AND some borderline cultish flavors of Christianity) that would seriously advocate for laws passed that ban all forms of birth control. The most people might do is personally abstain from it, and that’s nobody’s business; they’re not out there demanding an end to it. Abortion is a little touchier, obviously because there’s a difference between a theoretical, possible person that hasn’t existed at all and a fetus that is actually, you know, already conceived and moving and stuff. Is that life? Where is the line? Not going to pretend to know the answer to that, but putting the kibbosh on killing a developing human being that is so far along to where it can feel pain is an argument that people in politics do push for, and a fair amount of people on all sides of the religious spectrum have a problem with. HOWEVER, this has nothing to do with the only things that I’ve ever seen any serious, widespread debate over in the past decade, and that’s #1) the argument over forcing people or organizations to pay for abortions or abortifacients (through healthcare plans, taxes, etc) or coerce them into doing so in the case of organizations even if it is against their core beliefs. And #2) Late-term abortions.
Both of these have to do with instances where the deed is already done, so to speak. The Plan B/Morning-after pills are a gray area, since the important thinker-scientists-folk in charge are still deciding how exactly, and if, they work as they originally have said (then again, that’s the case with a lot of medicine out there, or at least, a lot more than I would have suspected, if you actually listen/read the fine print of some of those commercials for all kinds of drugs). Bottom line, there’s nobody who will take away your pills or condoms in Washington, and there won’t be come January either.
Inigo, All in good fun! I love ya! Enjoy your dinner. But Heineken, ugh!
@Inigo I do “Not Choose” Nachos as dinner.
Thank you brother Meerkat Brzezinski for the taste test you’re too kind.
Živjeli
Burnt out on Sam Adams, just doing my yearly world tour of beers.
No, it’s not a tumah.
Yes, Allan Williams, The Beatles’ 1st manager, has died at age 86
Yes, I missed Ringo, sorry bout that Allen, my bad
Yes, All Hollywood movies are developed and written by artificial intelligence without any human intervention and can only be seen summarized before they’re put to film at this secret web site. https://twitter.com/Shit_Pitches
Yes…chelsea clinton is the daughter of hillary clinton and janet reno.
Yes, abortion is genocide and the democrats’ only plank in their party platform.
Yes, “I love the sound of crying liberals in the morning”.
No, He was not born in Kenya.