Washington Examiner
Marvel announced new superheroes for its upcoming New Warriors series, a pair of twins named “Safespace” and “Snowflake.”
New Warriors is a reboot of a comic book series that made its debut in 1989 and will combine old characters with new ones reflecting the culture of 2020.
“The connotations of the word ‘snowflake’ in our culture right now are something fragile, and this is a character who is turning it into something sharp,” said writer Daniel Kibblesmith. “… These are terms that get thrown around on the internets that they don’t see as derogatory. To take those words and kind of wear them as badges of honor.”
“Snowflake” will portray a hero who identifies as nonbinary and goes by the pronouns “they/them.” The series will also feature an overweight superhero named “Trailblazer,” whose power is to pull useful objects out of a “magic backpack.” More
Be sure to watch the roll out video at the end of the article. It’s like a mini-mockumentary, except it’s all too real. – Dr. Tar
Warriors? No, they’re worriors, and laughable.
Don’t be surprised. Disney owns their asses now and you can expect more of the same and more extreme in the coming years.
They already made Cyclops and Wolverine gay. Were you expecting something normal?
Instead of Professor X they have Joe Biden as Msatermindless as their leader.
Lee was a lefty atheist. Don’t assume what he may have disapproved.
Sick of this puss mentality. Let’s turn everything faggy. Those douche bag characters would have so much baggage and low self esteem, in real life, they wouldn’t step outside. Hell, their grass allergies would do them in.
Will never publish more than 3 issues LOL.
There’s no market for it.
Time for conservatives to turn into snowflakes and vigorously demand new pronouns. Use alinsky tactics against them to an extreme until their heads explode.
What about Bilious with his hyper-acidic bile that he projectile vomits on his enemies, and his sidekicks Barfter and Farturus the Nozzle Twins
So they/thems super power is not knowing what gender it is? And being able to pull crap out of its back side.
New characters in development:
ASSHAMMER – CHRIS HAYES
THROATBOY – Can go without oxygen
BEN DOVER – Don Lemon evil mastermind
THE PILLOW BITER – Coughs feathers like a sniper JOE SCARBOUOUGH
THE SILVER QUEEF – Warren like older superhero
THE PURPLE TORPEDO – complete with latex exoskeleton
ASS CRACKER – looks line Anderson Cooper
CAPTAIN CORN HOLE – Cuomo
BOTTOM BOY – Acosta
The Ditch Witch – MADDOW
They might be able to fill 1 theater nation wide. Pop corn surprise!
C’mon Folks…All of Them have always been Gay….
Spandex, secret identities , and They never Boink the Woman in
Their lives…
Jack Kirby (Capt. America, X-Men. The Avengers, Fantastic 4 etc.), is rolling over in his grave as well as Steve Ditko (The Amazing Spiderman) and all the other of the Marvel artists of the 60’s.
So they’re goal is to spend lots of money, but not make any? They Will Succeed!
SphincterMan will clamp down on surging crime.
SeMan will spurt justice.
TrannyMan is a master of disguises.
The Rainbow Fellater will insure the winds of freedom blow… and suck.
Then there’s Lightfooted Phil the Anal Rapist… he, uh, he…
I’d like to see AdultMaleMan and AdultFemaleWoman appear.
PLANET OF THE MAN WOMEN
They bravely face the dire threats of milk and cookie attacks while the smores lay a deadly snare of sugary
death.
They bravely face the dire threats of
milk and cookie attacks while the smores
lay a deadly snare of sugary death.
What grool said.
Stan the Man Lee turned Libtard in his old age. So this would not be a surprise to him. Considering the lead time of such projects (character & development, costuming, scripting, layout, artwork, etc), Stan likely gave his approval for it all before he died.
So…..when it comes out April 15 (Tax Day), I plan to buy two copies. One to read and mock, the other to pack away and later re-sell (at a profit) to a desperate snowflake.
Y’all would be better off not following Marvel anymore.
Stan Lee was good in the 1960’s, but It’s all sick shit now.
My advice is to read history. Some people would be surprised at how entertaining it is. It has everything that novels/comic book superheros can offer, and at least it has the strong possibility of being true, depending on the historian.
Embracing Internet “slurs”? As super-powers? Well they still need an easy to draw alien sidekick. How about Elastic Starfish? Xhe’s able to “swallow” objects. No matter how large. Even the things
BarebackerTrailblazer whips out.@flip March 20, 2020 at 8:46 pm
> Then there’s Lightfooted Phil the Anal Rapist… he, uh, he…
You said that twice.
Waiting on the next Marvel Superhero, Chinese Virus Man, who takes out his adversaries with a fast acting respiratory affliction.
Oh wait, we already got that one, kinda looks like Winnie the Pooh, and is the head of the CCP.
Wonder Ifitsawoman
Captain Flaccid
Relax, Deadpool will ‘retire’ these characters in 6 to 8 months when the fad passes.
I can’t wait for “Wailing Woman!” With her super-sonic shrieking, she can’t shout, “Nooooooooooooo!” and knock over cars and buses.
How about “Glory Homo.” Anyone in close range, he sucks and drains the life out of opponents, leaving them dazed, sleepy, and docile.
Take ownership and demystify the shame with “Captain Prolapse.” He became that way after repeated battles with his arch-nemesis, “The Iron Fist.”
There is a new mutant team that will rival the X-Men. The left-wing has tons of purple-haired weirdos, trans-somethings, and a ton else from the clown tent waiting to shine.
Ugh. Barf.
I already saw three separate takes on this and I still can’t believe that Marvel actually went and approved of this shitastic move.
Enjoy losing money and readers, Marvel.
🖕
Yeah, Stan Lee was a leftist- but he always had enough self awareness to know not to alienate his fans/paying customers with over the top in your face progressive dog piss.
Just in time for the TP shortage!