Patriot Retort: As some of you might recall, I got very sick this past winter. This mystery flu hit me at the end of February and hung around until early April. I was so sick, I spent weeks doing nothing but lying down. Needless to say, after weeks of such a sedentary existence, I got a little tubby.
Not a lot tubby. But enough to make my pants tight.
Three weeks ago, as I struggled to squeeze into a pair of shorts, the button popped off, and I realized there was no denying the encroaching tub. So I began a daily workout regimen to combat the tubby.
I’ve been obsessive about it ever since. Every day I work out – abs, upper body, legs, ass. Plus I started a rather extreme caloric reduction diet. Amazingly, the results have been rapid. My pants aren’t tight anymore. In fact, in just three weeks’ time, they’re becoming rather loose. My T-shirts are baggy around the middle, but growing a bit snug around the sleeves thanks to the increase in muscle mass. And for some reason, my ass is getting higher. Who knew one could possess a gravity-defying ass?
I’m taking the fight to tubby and tubby is on the retreat.
When you suffer from Lupus, building up muscle and losing weight is a great way to alleviate the strain on your joints. And though Lupus has a virtual cornucopia of symptoms, in my case, the arthritis symptoms are the most common and persistent – not to mention the most painful. So Operation Lose the Tubby has many great benefits for me beyond the standard “fit into my clothes” benefit.
Plus, let’s face it. Fat-shaming works. And there’s nothing more crushing than struggling to put on your shorts only to have the button break off in your hand as you test the endurance of the material in the effort to get your damn shorts buttoned.
I can tell you if I had any large trees conveniently placed in my backyard, I wouldn’t say no to hanging bodyweight resistance straps from a thick branch and making the most of them.
Alas, I do not have any conveniently placed trees.
Apparently in Oakland, California, some folks who also don’t have large trees in their own yard went above and beyond the call of duty in the battle against tubby. They hung their own bodyweight resistance ropes from trees in an area park.
And because we live in a world of the Perpetually Offended, these exercise ropes were mistaken for nooses. Of course they were.
The problem is not something in the water, its something in the internet – too much information over load. People are burning their brains out. Cut back, its an addiction that our brains can’t handle.
Loose pants, buttons popping, gravity defying ass, Why are you guys trying to turn me on?
“…these exercise ropes were mistaken for nooses”
of course they are. They have to be. For them, but not for me.
https://www.pinterest.com/annwestyoga/iyengar-yoga-rope-wall-backbends/
another good exercise prop, borrowed from judo, is attaching bicycle innertubes to a tree or post.
I have a similar workout program. Mine’s called property maintenance.
We had a huge downpour last night in SC so today I’ll be on fire watch
as the massive burn pile roars into history. Burn Baby Burn!
PS: Lookin’ good Slim!
Internet and cellphone use is now an addiction to many millions of poorly educated (US school system) people who have incorporated its Pandora’s Box sitting on their shoulder poisons into their gestalt. They actually use it as part of their thought processing system rather that limit it to a source of information to be considered and accepted or rejected upon reasoned consideration.
And here we are, Western civilization being attacked by internet barbarians being led by “Cellphone Kahn”.
Remember the rubber bullets confusion.
https://thefederalist.com/2014/08/18/reporter-thought-earplugs-were-rubber-bullets-does-it-matter/
Whenever I think that I’m out of shape I remind myself that round is a shape.
Till you lose those extra pounds and those pants/shorts are a little snug, an elastic band, for ponytails, when looped through the button hole (and then through itself) will give you about an inch or so to loop over button. Don’t ask me how I know this. Damn you, delicious fattening foods around the holiday season, damn you! *shakes fist*
The only acceptable hate crimes are my Petey B’s hate crimes against my unbleached elastic starfish!
I think this weight thing is nonsense. I’m 6’1″ and weigh 232lbs. I wouldn’t call myself fat but I’m sure i could drop a few pounds. I wear a 36″ waist and xl shirt. My doctor constantly informs me that I am supposed to weigh around 185? I answer her with “I wrestled 185 when I was in 10th grade.” I find it hard to believe that at 55yo I’m supposed to weigh as much as I was at 15/16yo.
Do you think it was Covid 19?
Cathy will sew that button back on for you if you’re sporting a good tan!
Ditto, Claw; I’m 6-0 and weigh 187#. At my physical last fall, the ‘doctor’ told me I wasn’t “obese,” but that I was overweight; at age eighteen (mid 70’s), when I weighed 135# (!), my real doctor told me he wouldn’t complain if I weighed 190#. I had a 30″ waist then, 34″ now.
Guess I’ll have to eat more soy to get back “in-shape.”
The Claw,
I am almost 5’9″ and weigh 180 to 185 and people refer to me as scrawny……….. especially the ones who new me when I was younger…
Do you all remember when Harry Reid got hit in the eye from one of those exercise nooses hanging from his shower stall? We all bought the story – not me. I really think he was practicing his lynching technique.
One of the funniest weight loss skits I ever heard was this comedian on the radio, said he lost nearly 30 lb in one month with the Gut Buster (that device with the springs that attached to your feet and you held a handle to help do sit-ups).
He claimed the spring loaded foot straps slipped off, hit him in the mouth knocking most of his teeth out. He couldn’t eat solids for a month. The two morning show hosts were dying. Haha.
The guy along with his friends that “hung” the exercise ropes in the park trees…..
He’s Black…..Geeze people lighten up.
Lakeway, Texas, also has a noose problem.
https://tinyurl.com/5-Nooses-in-Lakeway
@Odin: I am 6-2. when I was 30 (and running) I Weighed 165. Now, much older, I weigh 210. I try not to think of what constitutes that additional 45 pounds.
Button popping? No big deal.
I start dieting when my pickup needs to gear down climbing the hill to my home.
p.s……nice picture of you MJA. Hard to beat a hot chick with rubber do-hickies (and also an elastic exercise band). :0
5’9″ at 205# Obese by the vegan faggotary soy index.
10 lbs underweight by the weight lifting, construction working, steam fitting, meat eating, welding index.
When I was 35, no joke, I weighed 402. My doc told me to start losing weight immediately or be dead by the age of 40. It took 15 years, but I have lost 227 lbs. Down to 187! Hardest thing that I have ever done. Gave up most of the foods I love, quit smoking & drinking beer(sigh) but the reward is well worth the sacrifice. A mostly protein diet works wonders & oh yeah, raw, unfiltered apple cider vinegar every morning straight from the bottle. It truly works & I actually enjoy the taste of it!