April Ryan: Heaven’s Gatekeeper

Patriot Retort: On this Easter Sunday, you would do well to remember that you better not cross April Ryan.

I know you all thought April was just a former jazz DJ who stumbled backwards into “journalism,” but you would be wrong.

April Ryan is more than just a chubby CNN contributor and White House “reporter” for the Urban Radio Network.

She has also anointed herself God’s chosen one.

Like a bouncer manning the velvet rope of a nightclub, April Ryan stands guard over the gates of Heaven.

And she alone will decide who will and will not cross.

So that makes two jobs that April Ryan isn’t qualified to hold.

After April – patron saint of jazz DJs and pecan pie conspiracy theorists – ranted on CNN demanding Sarah Huckabee Sanders be fired, Sarah’s dad Mike Huckabee took umbrage at April saying “you have to start and start lopping heads off.” more

13 Comments on April Ryan: Heaven’s Gatekeeper

  1. It’s fascinating to watch obvious black racists hate on white folk with the impunity granted by total lack of accountability to any standards of decency, imagine the outrage if either white Huckabee were to state a black journalist head should be lopped off yet somehow this ignorant bitch is the victim.

    Now Jussie is having night terrors and Mad Maxine is still peach foty fi…most black folk will acknowledge the double standard against whites privately.

    They know there is a significant racist sub population in their midst but due to cultural solidarity they (not unlike Muslims) do not hold their own publicly accountable for their hatred of whites.

    Ironically most Americans intuitively know there are far more minority’racists than white racists but that inconvenient truth does not fit the white people bad, Orange man bad linkage narrative.

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  2. If I showed up at the gates of heaven and that corpulent sow was there to greet me I would think I was the victim of the ultimate cosmic joke.

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  3. So she dares to play God’s gatekeeper over the souls of others without wearing a collar and saying magic words?

    Sorry, I am not defending her at all but the hypocrisy and utter lack of self-awareness on the Right sometimes reeks.

    3
  4. She should be picked up for involuntary admission to the locked ward. While there she will be evaluated for delusions of grandeur and incitement to murder/terrorist threats. Her White House pass should have been canceled by now, if not why not?

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  5. This is the result of believing your own lies.

    Lies are supposed to be used judiciously – to make great amounts of money or to save your ass – but, regardless – you’re supposed to understand that your own lies are lies.
    She’s lost sight of that fact.

    “Pride goeth before a fall” (or something like that)?

    izlamo delenda est …

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  6. She also threatened Sanders on Twitter when Sanders responded to one of her provocations with a “you don’t know me”.

    Ryan, who frequently takes umbrage when not taking the last piece of pie, then teamed up with Mayor of Baltimore Rawlings-Blake to threaten to assault Sanders for her eregious and racist lack of understanding the ghetto import of telling someone that “they (sic) don’t know you”.

    Wigs we will be ripped off and thrown against the wall, shoes removed and the kids will be sent ti grandmama’s house who already has the bail bondsman on speed dial.

    So, you know, the victimized Journalist threatened by the pokice state who must have kept her credentials due to some lack of oversight.

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  7. Cisco Kid…”most black folk will acknowledge the double standard against whites privately.” Where is your evidence for that?

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