Brazil Beaches Are So Filthy It Will Threaten Athlete’s Health In Summer Olympics

Tall and tan and young and lovely
The girl from Ipanema goes walking
And when she passes, each one she passes goes… what the fack is that smelllll?


Athletes in next year’s Summer Olympics here will be swimming and boating in waters so contaminated with human feces that they risk becoming violently ill and unable to compete in the games, an Associated Press investigation has found.

An AP analysis of water quality revealed dangerously high levels of viruses and bacteria from human sewage in Olympic and Paralympic venues — results that alarmed international experts and dismayed competitors training in Rio, some of whom have already fallen ill with fevers, vomiting and diarrhea.

It is the first independent comprehensive testing for both viruses and bacteria at the Olympic sites.

Brazilian officials have assured that the water will be safe for the Olympic athletes and the medical director of the International Olympic Committee said all was on track for providing safe competing venues. But neither the government nor the IOC tests for viruses, relying on bacteria testing only.

Extreme water pollution is common in Brazil, where the majority of sewage is not treated. Raw waste runs through open-air ditches to streams and rivers that feed the Olympic water sites.

As a result, Olympic athletes are almost certain to come into contact with disease-causing viruses that in some tests measured up to 1.7 million times the level of what would be considered hazardous on a Southern California beach.

Despite decades of official pledges to clean up the mess, the stench of raw sewage still greets travelers touching down at Rio’s international airport. Prime beaches are deserted because the surf is thick with putrid sludge, and periodic die-offs leave the Olympic lake, Rodrigo de Freitas, littered with rotting fish.

“What you have there is basically raw sewage,” said John Griffith, a marine biologist at the Southern California Coastal Water Research Project. Griffith examined the protocols, methodology and results of the AP tests.

“It’s all the water from the toilets and the showers and whatever people put down their sinks, all mixed up, and it’s going out into the beach waters. Those kinds of things would be shut down immediately if found here,” he said, referring to the U.S.


Listen, I know no one is going to believe me, but I just got out of a time machine that I built in my hobby shed.

I went forward into the future to a time here in the U.S. where things will be run by the new majority.


I’ll see you later. I’m going back to the 50’s and I’m looking for Lyndon Johnson and Ted Kennedy.


19 Comments on Brazil Beaches Are So Filthy It Will Threaten Athlete’s Health In Summer Olympics

  1. Third world can’t hide from a bacterial culture. They got turds in the surf.

    But the politicians are doing fine, thank you all!

  2. They couldn’t be more right. Brazil is a third world shithole. People had better watch their ass for kidnappers. It’s rampant.

  3. That’s nothin’. You need to see Tijuana’s infamous Shit River that flows direct, full force, and unfiltered to the Pacific, just south of San Diego.

    Even the illegals are complaining.

  4. London at one time (and for a couple of centuries) had an open sewer of gigantic proportions. It was called “Fleet Ditch”.

    Today we have “Fleet” brand name per-packaged enemas.

    Did somebody have a sense of humor?

  5. What did you think, that there were people smarter than Mexicans living even farther south of Mexico? Bwaaaahahahahaaa. Down there they worship Mary ‘mother of God’ who is obviously a communist comrade.

  6. Reading a book on BUD/s (Navy SEAL first phase training) and they describe the often overlooked problem of all the surf/ocean training off Coronado is that if the currents are going north, they are swimming in Tijuana’s sewage…the anecdote of seeing crap on the shoulder of a buddies cammies while they are doing “surf torture” and the nightly “decontamination” showers while smearing all their cuts and abrasions with copious anti-bacterial cream really shows what an issue it is.

  7. I work with several Brazilian people. They are all extremely friendly and diligent in their work. They have a funny trait. Chaos seems to rule the day. The more crazy and hectic a situation is, the better they like it. One of the lady’s was kidnapped when she went home at Christmas. She was released after she convinced the crooks that she was just home, visiting. They all speak perfect English, so that must have flagged her as a rich tourist.

  8. I’m betting her flawless ‘local dialect’ Portuguese was the convincing thing. “,,,when she went home…”

    Hard to fake. Why it’s so easy to pick out foreigners among you even if they’ve been living in your neighborhood for 30 years.

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