Contest: Why Moe Tom Should Get a Free Whistle – IOTW Report

Contest: Why Moe Tom Should Get a Free Whistle

Friday, 3 June 2016, 23:34 BFH Uncategorized 58

Menderman has been providing safety whistles that were produced in his brother’s memory.

Keith fell victim to a tragic boating accident where it’s been determined that a safety whistle could have saved his life.

The whistles have been the prize in many of our contests. Since Keith’s birthday is tomorrow,  we’re running a contest to honor his memory. Menderman has picked the topic, and it’s pretty funny.

WHY DOES MOE TOM DESERVE A FREE WHISTLE?

Menderman wrote the following:

I nominate Claudia (that hot fox) to be the judge.

Also, I will be glad to send Ginger a whistle so long as she can play it like a patriotic kazoo.  

Who remembers Ginger and the kazoo incident? But I digress.

The contest will end at 8pm et tomorrow night.

Good Luck!

Winner gets a whistle. And maybe Moe Tom gets one.

57 Comments on Contest: Why Moe Tom Should Get a Free Whistle

  14. Con/Gal Thanks. Always will be.
    : I am lucky tonight. Midnight, still got 1/2 bottle of Johnnie Walker, and I’m off tomorrow.
    Brad. water has too many impurities in it. Don’t touch the stuff except in tea.
    I’m really happy that I can post without trouble tonight. No freezing etc.

    1

  15. Moe Tom should be recognized for his greatest contribution to this website: the introduction of that fantastic, ten-dollar noun, “caitiff.”

    I majored in English at an Ivy League College, and had to look that one up. A caitiff is a despicable person.

    Tommy introduced it, and I made it the iotwreport.com Vocabulary Word of the Day. I have begun calling The Gender-Confused Biological Male Formerly Known as Bruce “Caitiff Jenner.”

    Now it’s my favorite Vocabulary Word of all time.

    Tommy, I honor your success at cultural enrichment.

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  21. Tommy deserves that whistle because even on Friday and Saturday night when I partake, he still makes perfect sence. I have a lot of favorite contributors here and Tommies right at the top of the list. Therefore I’m donating one child Flamingo pool float toy along with Mendermans whistle. You can’t be to safe.

    1

  22. There are no pictures, but it’s a safety whistle for when you’re on the water separated from your boat. If you’re worried about a cock in your ass it would probably double as a rape whistle, Ricky.

    1

  24. All too much
    Damn right I’d be a whistle blower if I saw wrong doing and was in a position to do something about it.
    Problem is were I live, there is no one I could trust to blow a whistle to. They are corrupt from the street sweeper to the governor’s office. I know, but I’m out of the loop.

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  25. moe tom deserves a free whistle because he’s moe tom, and nobody else could be moe tom…..and if you won’t give him a free whistle, you are an unmentionable, so there…..and besides, i’ll pay for it….so you better damn well give him a free whistle…..OR ELSE…….because otherwise…dogs and cats living together!!!!….san andreas!!!…..2012!!…oh sorry, my bad, that one didn’t work out so well…
    but you STILL better give moe tom a free whistle…..or i will never ever cease reading and commenting here, SO THERE!!!!

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  26. …OH…….and why is it all your contests end five hours before i see them????….it’s amazing, it is…..happens EVERY TIME……no sooner to i arrive at the contest, then i notice, IT’S BEEN OVER FOR FIVE HOURS…….

    beschnigglecht malfactors, every one of you….think you OWN THE WORLD…….

    1

  28. Hey youse guys. Big Fur Hat started this about an hour or so ago. I already now know how Barack Hussain Oblowme feels, and has felt, for the last eight years or so. It’s about me, all about me. I got this surge of hubris just like he did when Chrissy said I get a thrill up my leg when I see him, and David Brooks
    said he gets a hard on when sees the crease in Oblome’s pants or Evan Thomas from Newsweek say’s “He’s like a God.”
    It’s amazing just how good it feels just to have quite a few of you pay tribute to Tommoe. Imagine if the entire world knew me, as they know Oblome?
    Shit,I’d …….. Well we’ll let it go at that.
    Truth is I am humbled by all of this tomfoolery, but I would be proud to put Keith’s medal on my key chain next to Saint Christopher.
    I thank you all, now let’s have one for the couch.

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  30. And we wonder why conservatives are always getting rooked by progressives?? Now, I’m not saying the M man is a progressive, but he has successfully got you all thinking Moe Tom deserves a whistle. Why Moe Tom? Why now? And why a whistle? Not a single person questioned any of these things.

    And it gets even worse! To our collective, conservative shame, I read with increasing alarm such things as people paying for things like this whistle and accessories like swimming pools. How easy it is to lead some of you down the garden path. You never even questioned the validity of the premise and already you’ve got your checkbooks and credit cards out!

    I’m sure I don’t want to contemplate what comes next. Next we’ll all be reading things “Well, he deserves it because he’s special,” or “He deserves it because he can’t afford to buy one of his own.”

    I must say, this is a low point at IOTWr. I could really use some cheering up. I think a happy sound or maybe a gift would accomplish that.

    I’ve really given this a lot of thought and I think maybe I should have the whistle. And the swimming pool.

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  32. (just in case…I’M KIDDING!!!)

    Moe Tom deserves the whistle because he’s a righteous patriot and preserver of the flame of all that is good, true and beautiful.

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  35. Moetom deserves a whistle because of all the great records he produced back in the 1950’s and 60’s. We’re talking Michael Jackson, The Supremes, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder, Frankie Valli, and too many others to name here. His contribution to popular music… Oh, wait – that’s MOTOWN I’m thinking of, not Moetom.

    Never mind…

    😇

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  36. MoeTom — Though I am a lady of a ‘certain age’, I have no idea what that even means — but it sounds good because you prefaced it with “darlin'” 😉

    1

  38. Moetom has shown the wirld through his avatar what a child produced by Charlie Rangel and Whoopi Goldberg would look like. As a result, the world has gone into full-gear to ever keep that from happening. Moetom. Thank you for your service.

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  41. MoeTom deserves a whistle
    He is magnanimous when he spies a typo
    He does not engage in name calling
    And judging by his writings, he is likely to use it in the grocery line,
    use it to end arguments, and try to call birds down from migratory flights

    1

  43. If that avatar is anything representative of Moetom, he desperately needs that whistle because if he puts his lips together and blows it probably sounds more like a fart.
    PS – If I win, please donate the whistle to Abigail because I already won one.

  45. There are few accolades remaining to express Moetom’s worthiness for a whistle in Memory of and Honoring Meanderman’s Brother. Having lost a younger brother, To be considered is to have won. The whistle itself would be a prodigious reminder of the Love shared by brothers.

  48. @Bad_Brad:

    What victory cruise? Tommy and I reached an agreement in principle to do a pub crawl on McLean Avenue in Yonkers if Trump kicked Hitlery’s fat ass.

    And the joyous celebrations will continue in January: my 60th birthday is on Inauguration Day!

  51. @ Abigail Adams. It’s an old inside joke among aspiring musicians in Ireland back in the 40s and 50s. Learning to play the Whistle, tin whistle, or penny whistle was a precursor to learning the flute, clarinet, bag pipes, etc. Every kid in Ireland had a penny whistle and would play it a gatherings, picnics etc. Some were good at it but most were pretty awful; thus, a gentleman is a man who can play the whistle, but doesn’t.” For fear of waking the dead. LOL
    Check out James Galway on the penny whistle/ flute, he was a master of such a simple instrument.

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  52. MoeTom — Thanks for that! I will! Having played the flute in a former life, I am quite familiar with Galway. I still have my instrument and regret not keeping up with it.

  55. Since dead people voting is nothing new, here is my Irish granny, Sarah Jane Hull (1889-1983), weighing in from Heaven on why Tommy deserves a whistle:

    “Because he’s a good Irish laddie, that’s why.”

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