Excuses Excuses – IOTW Report

Excuses Excuses

time card

1. I thought of quitting today, but then decided not to, so I came in late.
2. My hair caught on fire from my blow dryer.
3. I was detained by Homeland Security.

A new report revealed 12 of the most bizarre late-to-work excuses, and the list contains a bear, a lizard and a lot of Vaseline.

34 Comments on Excuses Excuses

  1. I’m late because as I was leaving for work this morning there was a knock on the door and it was an FBI agent wanting to ask me some questions about people I work with. He wouldn’t say if it was a background check or a criminal investigation. Either way, bugging out on him seemed like a bad idea.

  2. I’m late because as I was driving along the shore road a humongous flock of gulls flew overhead and crapped all over my car. It took a long time to clean it all off and then I had to go back home to shower and change clothes.

  3. I was late for work once. I stopped at the bank and it was being held up and I walked right in and got hit on the head by the butt of a shotgun.
    I was there for hours, laying on the floor, out like a light.
    At least that’s what they told me in the hospital.
    Kinda have a fear of banks after that.

  4. My sister has a time card story. When she went on dates she carried a time
    card with her. She would show her date the card. If they knew it was a time card. the date was over. What an elitist snob. Right?

  5. I won’t be in today, the voices in my head said that instead of coming to work, I should stay home & clean my hatchet collection
    …works every time

    either that or, “my stigmata is acting up again”

  6. I woke up with a problem with my vision,
    I just couldn’t see myself going into work today.

    …Hi, I am calling in well. the sun is shining, the leaves are rustling, and it’s just too dang nice to go into work today.

    My brother’s monkey’s dog’s cousin heard a car backfire and he hit his head and he accidentally locked the keys to my car inside his gun safe…then he bit me..

  7. Until it becomes an archived record, it sits in a holder next to a clock that imprints the time.

    http://www.staples.com/Time-Clocks-Cards/cat_DP3901

    In large companies, employees will file by the clock at the beginning and end of their work shift and get their card punched.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pte2zm98ZWg .

    Many places of business will skip having a punch clock and will hand write the beginning and end times of the employee’s shifts.

  8. I actually got a raise with that one. I was gone a whole day during the week checking out a better job and getting a physical for it.

    They knew I was serious and not just blowing hot air about leaving for better pay.

    While I became the highest paid “hourly” employee nat that factory, it still wasn’t enough for my budding family and I had to move on to greener pastures eventually.

    Looking back now, I’m amazed I can earn in one hour now what we earned in one week back then.

  9. Friday morning I had a telephonic hearing for the local Unemployment office to decide if my business should pay benefits.

    The employee stated (and is the fact), that he walked off the job on a Wednesday because he thought we were going to fire him on Friday! No sh*t !!

    Won’t know for another week who will win the unemployment claim, but I’m fairly confident.

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