The Onion-like Babylon Bee reports that they’ve intercepted an internal Planned Parenthood memo that discusses possible successors for Cecile Richards.
“We all know Queen Cecile is going to leave some huge pink heels to fill,” the document said. “There’s a VERY short list of people in all of human history who have so ruthlessly and efficiently slaughtered millions. But we must find her replacement, and move forward toward our Final Solution. The machine must not slow!”
The memo provides a list of notable people who could possibly fill Richards’ soon-to-be vacant position, along with company notes providing their reasoning for and thoughts about each nominee:
The Mind Flayer from Stranger Things
A wrought iron scythe dripping in blood
Kermit Gosnell
A jar of festering pond scum
Have you your own suggestion?
h/t satire site? really?
A blender?
A Muslim?
Hillary has nothing to do, how about her?
Queen Cecile? How disgusting. I vote they shut the place down.
Shouldn’t that be “bloody red heels to fill”?
Have they found Dr. Josef Mengele yet, does he have a son?
I guess Dr. Kevorkian is no longer available.
A certain political party that likes to corral undesirables, for political purposes, is in need of a fundraiser.
What about Kapernic? After all, he killed the NFL.
The Podesta brothers can co-chair. They will probably eat the scraps.
Too much?
Janet Reno – the BBQ Pitmaster of Texas Baby Back Ribs
George Soros, diddum he help out the nazis in their extirpation campaign?
I hear Screwtape can find some good applicants.
The Black Plague!
How about some ms-13 boys?
Let them staff the whole chop shop.
Leroy Carhart, son of Satan!
Janet Reno, “She’s dead Jim”, I mean Moxie Man. Were she alive, I’m sure she would take the gig.
She said she wants a black president of planned parenthood.
Chelsea Clinton for the day shift and Chelsea Manning for the night shift.