Iran Building Aircraft Carrier – IOTW Report

Iran Building Aircraft Carrier

FETIHD KHATBOKS, Iran (World News Bureau) – Iran has announced it will significantly upgrade its navy, including building a state-of-the-art aircraft carrier (below).

“With the help of Allah, we will enlarge and modernize our navy. As part of that objective, we will build the most advanced aircraft carrier the world has ever seen which will put fear in the hearts of our enemies,” Iranian Navy Commander Muhammad S’airi Azcrak was quoted as saying by Iran’s semi-official Fars News Agency.  GO SEE

30 Comments on Iran Building Aircraft Carrier

  1. With the help of Allah, we will enlarge and modernize our navy.

    I wonder where allah comes down on the question of steam versus electromagnetic catapults. Or will the carrier have big slingshots like those crazies had set up on top of that building?

  2. Good luck with that. Just don’t use the Admiral Kuznetsov or the Chinese ski-slope thing as your model, unless you want to belch black smoke or watch your planes fall into the ocean. Or you might want to skip the whole endeavor and keep buying ski boats. You’ve been lucky with them, so far. Better yet, spend the money on your citizens and try to improve their lives by bringing them into the 21st century.

  3. “As part of that objective, we will build the most advanced aircraft carrier the world has ever seen”…, along with the sister ships, goat carrier and camel carrier for our fearless warriors to enjoy after victorious battles. Also, the biggest “ghost ship” with 72 virgins to follow our fleet is in the plans.
    Wow, some scary shit. 😉

  4. That was a short article. They left out the “enemies will drown in lakes of blood” part. I always love it when they do the drown in lakes of blood thing. Gets me hot. Why’d they leave that out? Maybe it should be “seas of blood” what with it being a big mosque-boat and all. And where are the holes for the rowers? How will they reach ramming speed?

  5. A Rudyard Kipling paraphrase to explain why the Muz will fail:
    “They do preach that their God will rouse them a little before the nuts work loose.
    They do teach that His Pity allows them to leave their job when they damn-well choose.”

  6. Another WNB parody article. Scooter’s a talented guy.

    In reality, their “navy” will make good target practice.
    But it will be all over fast.

    They’re going to bring a third rate carrier manned by cavemen to a 21C satellite-laser turkey shoot.

  7. There is no way in hell they can ever build a bird farm anything even close to our US Navy aircraft carriers, not even an old school diesel boat. They couldn’t even build an old WW2 flat top aircraft carrier. And if they did even come close we’d destroy it in a heartbeat without breaking a sweat. Dream on ragheads, it ain’t gonna happen ever. Just how much camel power can they put into a large ship like an aircraft carrier.

  8. Most have not seen the beautiful sight of an
    air craft carrier with it’s escorts on peri-vis,
    it is a sight to behold.

    I just wanna hear “tube four ready, firing point procedures”
    announced in control.

    That’s some fun.

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