‘Jurassic World’ Movie Review – IOTW Report

‘Jurassic World’ Movie Review

Scooter Van Neuter

By movie critic Scooter Van Neuter

Sunday I went to a screening of Steven Spielberg’s Jurassic World at my local IMAX. Having been a big fan of the first two or three installments of this franchise, I had very high hopes for this film.

The movie got off on the wrong foot when my girlfriend Sissy and I were forced to stand in line despite the fact I had called ahead informing them that I was a major critic requiring VIP accommodations.

In addition, I found the lobby restroom sadly lacking in both cleanliness and amenities. Judging by the of lake of urine I was standing in, the last guy who used the urinal had Parkinson’s and a bladder the size of Kim Kardashian’s ass. The fact the paper towel dispenser was inoperable and the hand dryer button was covered with what appeared to be boogers elevated the whole bathroom experience to that of a concentration camp.  more

9 Comments on ‘Jurassic World’ Movie Review

  1. Wow dude you missed your shit big. Jurassic Park is the number one movie. And we have a Bush and a Clinton running for the White House. What year is this? Ya missed the space time continuum Scooter. Your fired. LOL.

  2. Don’t forget Vacation. Yes. They are remaking the Griswolds trek to Wally World.

    As quoted from the movie, Mr Holland’s Opus…”If you stop teaching and having kids appreciate the arts, eventually we will have nothing to read or write about!”

    True story.

  3. “The line for the concession stand was a nightmare – populated by a collection of Wal-Mart shoppers, deviates, and the entire cast of The Biggest Loser. The employees behind the counter answered the question of what happens to the kids who don’t qualify for the Special Olympics.” HEELARIOUS!! đŸ˜€

  4. Doncha just hate it when thars Vagisil on yer 3D glasses …

    @Bman – I think you might be on to something –
    The Griswolds go to Jurasic Park.
    Now that might be worth seeing!
    “That’s one big pile of shit” takes on a new meaning…

2 Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. buy backlinks
  2. helipad toy

Comments are closed.